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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24719989">Sanctuary</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_OfThe_Universe/pseuds/Queen_OfThe_Universe'>Queen_OfThe_Universe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>CSI: Crime Scene Investigation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Broken Family, Cheating, Child, Grave Danger, M/M, Posted to AO3 in 2020, Posted to ff.net in 2010, Romance, Slow Burn, play with fire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:19:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>67,117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24719989</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_OfThe_Universe/pseuds/Queen_OfThe_Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick thought he was helping Kristy, but now he's stuck in a loveless marriage he can't escape. Finding solace in Greg's support, he's able to survive his life, until the day he gets kidnapped, leaving Greg to hold a crumbling family together. GN. NC17.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was inspired by the song "She Can't Get That" by Blake Shelton.</p><p>I did take one liberty with Cara's birthday. She should be a December baby, but here she was born in May. Forgive me and go with it, ok? Who's Cara you ask? She would be a product of the first season episode "Boom". </p><p>Apologies for the fact that Kristy is a bit of a bitch here. These days, it's a tired theme that's frowned upon. (Getting pregnant and being a wife and mother were never part of her life plan.) That said, this is still one of my favorite stories that I reread on occasion. </p><p>It starts off post "Play With Fire" and ends with "Grave Danger".</p><p>I originally posted this to ff.net in 2010 and I'm posting it here in 2020, one chapter once or twice a week. I hope you enjoy it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spinning. Something burning. Plastic. Burning plastic. But where? What? Flying. Air whooshing by. Shattering sound. Glass? Tile floor rushing up. Sara was there. She was lying on the floor. Sara? On the floor? Must have been a dream. Weird dream.</p><p>Greg's eyes struggled to open. The lids felt heavy. Too heavy. His brain was foggy. Where the hell was he? This wasn't the lab. Not his bed at home either. He was uncomfortable. Achy. Meds would be nice...</p><p>There was a shape, vague, blurry. But a woman. It had to be. Right?</p><p>"Catherine?" His voice croaked. Dear God he sounded awful. What happened? Did he get hit by a truck?</p><p>"Hey, Greg." She came over to the bed, proving that she wasn't a mirage or another weird dream. Or was she?</p><p>What was she doing in his bedroom? Freaky thought. Oh, right, this wasn't his bedroom.</p><p>A slow steady beeping met his ears. Where was it coming from? Why did the room look like a hospital? Was he still dreaming?</p><p>He tried to roll over onto his back, to get more comfortable. But he was stopped by his coworker's well manicured hand.</p><p>"No, no, you don't want to do that. Your back's gonna be pretty sore for a few days at least, according to the doctor."</p><p>"What... what happened?" Why was everything so foggy? And confusing?</p><p>"Your lab exploded."</p><p>This whole thing was a dream. It had to be.</p><p>"Do you remember what happened right before the incident? What were you working on?" Warrick came out of a dark corner to stand beside Catherine. Sooo creepy.</p><p>They were ganging up on him. This was a dream. He was sure of it. Next Nick would walk through the door wielding a sword. Of course the straight man of his gay fantasies would want to kill him. Where was the surprise in that? And Grissom would... what? Right. Body farm. His mom would pitch a fit.</p><p>"I don't... I don't... remember. But... I wouldn't... not stupid."</p><p>"We know. We're just trying to piece the puzzle together to figure out what happened. Do you remember anything unusual you might have noticed?"</p><p>He struggled with his memory. What did he remember that might be considered real and not his crazy imagination? He was still groggy. Sleep would feel nice. He wanted to close his eyes. Instead, he thought about Catherine's question.</p><p>"Plastic... burning... I think... could smell it."</p><p>"Good. Anything else?"</p><p>Greg shook his head.</p><p>"Alright, you get some rest, ok? We'll be back later to check on you."</p><p>He didn't even reply before his lids were shutting on him and he was falling back into a deep, dark sleep.</p>
<hr/><p>"You sure he's doing ok?" Nick asked Warrick as they stood outside the front entrance to the crime lab, both on their way home. "I'll admit I am a little worried... I mean... I saw it happen, Rick. You weren't there man. He went flying through that glass like..." shivers ran up Nick's spine. He didn't finish his sentence. Couldn't.</p><p>"Yeah, I heard about it from Sara and Archie. He's doing fine. He'll be sore for awhile. They've got him heavily doped up and I guess his back's a real mess. But hey, the guy's alive, and that's the important part."</p><p>Nick nodded in complete agreement. "What did the doctor say about his back exactly?" The cell phone clipped to his belt vibrated against his hip, interrupting their conversation. He answered without checking the caller-ID. "Stokes."</p><p>"Oh, I'm so glad you're alright! I heard what happened and I just had to call you. Is everything ok?" Kristy's selfish whine came over the line, biting into Nick's ear.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm ok. Everything's ok. Once they figure out what happened they'll get a crew in to repair the damage. That's all." He neglected to mention his coworker who'd been sent to the hospital.</p><p>"Mommy!" Nick could hear his daughter in the background. "Listen, I've gotta run. Tell Cara I love her and I'll see you when I get home later. Alright?"</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>"That Kristy?" Warrick asked once he'd hung up.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Tell her I said hi when you get home."</p><p>"Will do."</p><p>"About Greg's back, from what I understand it'll need lots of attention. Right now, he's covered in bandages. I figure if it's bad enough for him to be so doped up he can't crack a joke and barely knows his own name, that can't be good. However, he was just waking up when we were there. Maybe once he's been awake for a bit his brain might clear up."</p>
<hr/><p>All the way to the hospital Nick couldn't stop thinking about Greg and what the explosion had done to him. The way Warrick had mentioned it Nick wasn't sure what to think. He didn't know how bad it was, but he was almost too afraid to find out. The last thing he wanted was to see Greg in pain.</p><p>"Hi Nick!" Greg perked up when he saw his coworker and good friend walk in. "Sorry..." he slurred. "Don't think I can play... video games tonight."</p><p>"Wow, they really do have you doped up, don't they?" A moment ago Nick had been worried, but seeing Greg now, he had to work hard at controlling his laughter.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>But at least Greg knew what day it was. And while Nick would have much preferred spending half the day at Greg's apartment playing video games, like they normally did on Tuesdays, he said he would keep Greg company where he was.</p><p>"Sss, not the same," Greg complained.</p><p>"Hey, no matter where you are, I'll hang. You know I need time away from the girls on occasion."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>Nick brought a chair closer to the bed and sat down, leaning in close to his friend so he could better hear his quiet, slurred words.</p><p>"So drugged... Must be bad..."</p><p>Greg had been lying on his side when Nick entered the room and he hadn't moved since.</p><p>"What did the doctor say?"</p><p>"Whole back's gotta bandage. I got cut... glass... lotsa glass."</p><p>Nick winced, hating the thought of Greg cut by glass, even if it was just a finger slice. His stomach turned and he had to look away for a moment.</p><p>"Nicky?"</p><p>He sighed, his eyes finding Greg's. "I'm sure they won't keep you in here too long. When you get out, I'll come visit regularly, help you out a little."</p><p>"Nick?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Gotta itch... my arm. Can you scratch it?"</p><p>"You can't scratch it yourself?"</p><p>"Hurts my back to move much."</p><p>Nick obliged him, and scratched his right arm just above the elbow. Even with the brief contact of their skin, Nick felt a certain heat climbing up into his face. He willed it back down, an image of his wife and daughter quickly filling his mind.</p><p>"Don't have to visit. I'll be ok."</p><p>"You can hardly move, G."</p><p>"Be ok."</p><p>Nick wanted to laugh. Drunk Greg could be funny. But this wasn't so funny anymore. He really was hurting, he just couldn't feel it at the moment. Someone was going to have to help Greg at home for awhile and he despised the thought of some random in-home care nurse in his apartment, though he was unsure why it should bother him so much. Greg was like himself, few friends outside the department. It was just the nature of working the graveyard shift. Who else did that leave?</p><p>"Nicky? Ssssso tired."</p><p>"It's alright. Get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."</p><p>Greg's eyes dropped closed and he was sound asleep within moments.</p><p>Nick stayed with him, listening to the steady beat of his heart on the monitor, and watched his chest rise and fall with each breath he took, until he too, let his eyes droop closed.</p>
<hr/><p>Several days went by and Nick had felt compelled to visit Greg for every single one of them. It was a good excuse to get out of the house for awhile. He didn't want to see Greg in the hospital, but it was still nice having somewhere to go after work. Somewhere he could decompress. Greg understood what his night had been like without having to say a word. He wasn't sure Kristy would ever understand. And even though he'd suggested she spend the night at the lab, perhaps following Warrick or Catherine around to find out what they really did, much like wives of police officers who sometimes did a ride-along with another officer, Kristy had refused. Claimed she didn't need to. Didn't want to. She was looking at his job with a different shade of glasses than when they'd first met, and he doubted they were rose-colored.</p><p>Arriving at the hospital this time, he was prepared to leave with a passenger. He stopped, first, at the nurse's station to sign Greg out and to pick up the medication he would need for the next few weeks. He then found Greg sitting up, on the edge of his bed, already changed into the baggy sweat pants and loose t-shirt Nick had brought him the day before.</p><p>"Hey." Greg smiled. "Didn't think you'd actually come for me."</p><p>"What, you thought I'd leave you here?"</p><p>"Well, that, or you'd fudge some story and make Catherine do it. She's already feeling bad enough that it was her fault."</p><p>Nick moved closer. "Accidents happen, G."</p><p>"I know. I've accepted it, but it must be different on her end."</p><p>"Are you ready to get home?"</p><p>"Yeah, help me up."</p><p>Nick lent him an arm, supporting him under the elbow, as Greg carefully lowered himself to the ground.</p><p>"Oh God... I'm a little weak in the legs."</p><p>"You haven't been walking for a week. You'll be fine soon enough."</p><p>Nick helped him out to the car, and got him home as soon as possible.</p>
<hr/><p>This was... weird. To say the least. Sure Nick had spent a lot of time at Greg's even after the wedding, but he stayed in the livingroom where they ate Chinese takeout and played video games until Nick determined it was time he headed home to his family.</p><p>But now, Nick was in his bedroom, helping him get out of his clothes and into his bed. It was embarrassing. He, Gregory Sanders, was half naked in front of the one man he'd had the longest crush on. And of course, he had to be a married coworker, of all people. He was sure he was blushing. His face felt hot as Nick's hands grazed his skin, pulling his shirt up and over his head after carefully freeing each arm. Oh but for the grace of boxers. If it hadn't been for them, he would be completely naked and his hard on would be even more obvious. Nick undressing him was one of his biggest fantasies, even if Nick himself wasn't getting naked too.</p><p>He had to admit he felt better sans clothes. Now his thick bandages wouldn't continually catch on the fabric. But he wasn't alone yet and that's where the problem was.</p><p>The image of his latest boyfriend, Matt, entered his mind. Big, tough, muscles so thick he made Greg look like the man's ten-year-old son. Ironically enough, he had been one of the gentlest creatures on the face of the entire planet.</p><p>Matt's face began to change. Dark hair replaced blonde. His jaw became more chiseled. Blue eyes turned to brown chocolate pools.</p><p>Greg shook his head, willing the picture of Matt to right itself, before Nick chanced a look down and saw the obvious tent in his boxers. Matt knew full well that every time they'd been together Greg's mind had been elsewhere. He hated that he'd hurt such a sweet guy, but at least Matt had recognized that it couldn't be helped and had let him go without hard feelings.</p><p>"G? You ok? That didn't hurt, did it?" Nick asked, bursting the bubble in Greg's head.</p><p>"No. No, I'm ok."</p><p>"You sure?" Nick had come around to face him. "Your face looks hot. Maybe you've got a fever." He didn't move.</p><p>"What, you're not gonna do the back of the hand against my forehead test?" Greg ducked his head at his stupidness.</p><p>"I'm not your mother. You want me to get the thermometer?"</p><p>"I'm fine. Really," he mumbled, feeling even more embarrassed. If only he could hide amongst the covers in bed. Maybe then things would be ok.</p><p>"Come on, let's get you into bed."</p><p>He looked back up at Nick, surprised that he wasn't going to make him do everything else on his own. He was even more surprised to see Nick's cheeks dusted in pink. He was probably just as embarrassed to be in the same room as a half naked guy as Greg was. But then again... how many locker rooms had Nick had, from high school, to college? He'd played baseball. He shouldn't be nervous about this. Unless he'd looked down and seen the proof of Greg's crush. Had he? It was hard to tell.</p><p>Rather than call him on it, Greg let Nick lead him to the bed. There was no need to draw attention to himself if Nick had miraculously missed it. As he sat down, a small jolt of pain slid through his left leg.</p><p>"Owww!"</p><p>"You ok? What happened?"</p><p>"It was just the back of my leg. Stop asking me that. You're sounding more and more like my mother. I didn't know you were this good at babying and taking care of the sick and wounded."</p><p>"Sorry."</p><p>Greg couldn't help but smile when Nick's cheeks went into a full on blush. He slid onto his side and let his crush pull the covers up over him.</p><p>"Shout if you need anything. Ok?"</p><p>"Where are you going?"</p><p>"I'll be in the livingroom. On the couch."</p><p>And Nick was spending the day... dear God... Thankfully, Nick backed out of the room rather quickly, shutting the door partway as he left.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Fuck. This had not been a good idea. In fact, it had been one of his worst ideas. Ever. Even worse than tempting that rattle snake to bite him when he was ten. But now he had no choice. He'd told Greg he would stay. He didn't have to. Certainly Greg didn't expect him to. But when he pulled out his cell phone to let Kristy know where he was, he remembered the thick white bandages covering most of Greg's back and part of his legs, and knew he needed to stay.</p><p>He dialed the number.</p><p>"Stokes residence," Kristy's voice sighed into the phone.</p><p>"It's me."</p><p>"Oh. Working another double?" She didn't sound surprised.</p><p>"Yeah," he lied, finding it easier than telling the truth.</p><p>"Ok. Whatever."</p><p>"Daddy!" Cara called out in the background.</p><p>The phone changed hands, and his daughter's voice came over the line, loud and excited.</p><p>"Hey, sweetie. What's going on? Did you just get up?"</p><p>"Yeah! An' I didn wet bed!" she said in her cute little toddler talk.</p><p>"Well, hey, that's something pretty special! Why don't we celebrate when I get home tonight. Yeah?"</p><p>"Ok! Mommy talk now."</p><p>Nick listened to his daughter fumble with the large device in her tiny hands.</p><p>"No, Cara. You cannot go play outside. You need to get dressed and ready for..."</p><p>The line went dead</p><p>Laying down on the couch he closed his eyes but quickly reopened them when a picture of Greg naked in bed entered his mind. He thought about work to try to get his mind off the man sleeping down the hall, but that only reminded him of the explosion which brought him around to Greg again, and his worry for his friend's life. Closing his eyes once more helped little.</p><p>Then he tried something new, knowing he wouldn't be any good to Greg, his family, or his job if he didn't get any rest. He imagined himself on the back of his favorite mare at his parent's ranch house as a child, galloping through the fields of tall grass, letting all of his childhood worries fly away like a lost feather on the wind.</p><p>He fell into a fitful sleep.</p><p>Tossing and turning, he woke easily at Greg's voice calling for him several hours later. Hurrying down the hall, he found Greg still in bed, trying to look over his shoulder at Nick in the doorway.</p><p>"What do you need?"</p><p>"Trying to turn over. Damn it. I hate this."</p><p>Nick reached out to take his arm when Greg suddenly jerked back. "I don't want help!" His face went ridged with pain and he screwed his eyes closed.</p><p>"Be careful! You'll hurt you back," Nick warned.</p><p>"I just did," Greg said through clenched teeth. "Fuck."</p><p>"I'll help you sit up, and then I think it's time for more of your pain medication." Nick kept his voice as even and calming as he could.</p><p>"Yeah. Please. Sorry. I didn't meant to yell." He sounded tired. Perhaps even upset.</p><p>"It's ok."</p><p>Nick helped him move before going back into the kitchen for a tall glass of water and two pills. When he returned, Greg was leaning forward, resting his arms on his knees. The sheets had pooled around his waist, showing off his bare chest. There were a few cuts still healing there but they were small enough not to have needed stitches or bandages past a few days.</p><p>Greg swallowed the medication, downed the rest of the water, and handed the glass back. Nick set it on the nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed.</p><p>"I hate this. I should have stayed in the hospital. I don't want to keep you up. But I hate hospitals. They smell. And the nurses are always trying to bug you at all hours of the day. Couldn't get a decent night's sleep. Well, day, for me, you know. They don't let you sleep during the fucking day. And they weren't hot guys either. I would have stayed for that." Greg stopped, his eyes sliding closed. He lowered his forehead to his knees.</p><p>Nick's mouth opened to form some sort of reply, but nothing came out. Greg was gay? How had he not known that?</p><p>"I just want the company... I guess," Greg mumbled. "I don't know what I'm saying. I'm so tired I'm starting to ramble. Never mind being loopy on drugs. This is probably worse."</p><p>Without thinking, Nick crawled onto the bed to sit beside him, to offer the company he'd asked for. If neither of them were going to get any sleep, they might as well do something together.</p><p>"No, it's not," Greg corrected himself. "I at least know what I'm saying. I'm sorry. I do know what I'm saying. And I shouldn't have said it. I should have kept my big fucking mouth shut. What's worse is that I have no clue what I said that first day you came..." Greg's head swivelled, and his wide eyes latched onto Nick. "Oh God... Did I... What if I... I didn't... say anything stupid... did I? I mean... like... I might have... already said something...Why are you doing this?"</p><p>The abrupt change in topic startled Nick, who'd found himself staring into Greg's warm brown eyes, his heart yearning to touch, to hold the hurt man sitting so close to him. "Doing what?" Nick's hand found its way to Greg's face on its own, cradling his cheek as if he were a lover instead of a coworker.</p><p>"Spending the night and helping me with everything?" Greg's eyes darted from Nick's hand to his face in confusion. "You've got a family that probably needs you too."</p><p>"Not as much as you do," Nick found himself saying. He hadn't meant to say it, but suddenly he had no control over anything his body did and Greg's perfect lips were drawing him closer. His thoughts turned to complete static and his entire body tingled with excitement it hadn't felt in a long time.</p><p>This wasn't happening, he told himself. But, oh yes it was.</p><p>Barely an inch apart, his lips hovered over Greg's and their breath mingled in the air between them. He could still smell the peppermint he'd had earlier. It smelled too good to be true. How many times had he dreamed of being close enough to smell the wonderful scent of Greg's Blue Hawaiian coffee on his breath?</p><p>Tension filled the air and then their lips were searing themselves together. And Greg was receptive. Very receptive. Lips so soft, warm, and welcoming, opening easily for him... yet... hard, insistent, needy. Perfect.</p><p>Then he was gone, abruptly pulling away. There was something telling in his eyes. They were so deep, open, wanting. Never had anyone ever been this way for him. It felt odd, and yet, oddly right.</p><p>"We can't do this." Greg looked away, his voice sounding forced. Did he really want this too?</p><p>Nick nodded, unable to speak, still experiencing the wonderful warmth of Greg's lips pressed against his, even as the familiar feeling of emptiness began to refill his soul. Of course Greg was right. What had he been thinking? ...The same thing that had been on his mind for the past... how long? Damn it. It had been a bad decision to stay and help Greg. But his heart ached at the thought of leaving. He'd wondered. Every time he'd been over to play video games. Possibly even hoped and dreamed just a little. Not that he wanted to admit to anything. He thought he knew the truth now, yet his family stood in the way of his really owning that truth.</p><p>"I'm sorry," he muttered, and without waiting for Greg to reply, he rushed out of the room.</p><hr/><p>Nick made eggs and toast for Greg before he went home to see his daughter. He'd told Greg to call him if he needed anything, though he didn't expect him to take him up on the offer.</p><p>He had dinner with the family, but Kristy refused to let Cara eat one of the three cupcakes he'd brought home in celebration of her dry night in bed.</p><p>"Why not?" Nick asked.</p><p>"Because I said so." He could clearly see the mental 'duh' that accompanied her words written clear across her face.</p><p>"That's not a good enough reason. I promised her we would celebrate. And why shouldn't we? I thought you were tired of doing the laundry every morning."</p><p>While they argued Cara silently watched them from her chair and finished her dinner.</p><p>"I am. But this... you don't celebrate things like this! And how the hell do you think I've kept this figure anyway? By eating cupcakes? I don't think so. She's not going to grow up fat."</p><p>"I may have bought three but I never said you had to eat one. I figured maybe this once you might indulge a little. But I guess I was wrong. And she won't grow up fat. But I don't want her to stay a stick her entire life. I want her to enjoy her childhood while it lasts."</p><p>"Throw them out, Nick," she screamed. "That smell is making me sick. Get them out of here!"</p><p>Begrudgingly, Nick repackaged the cupcakes and stood up, letting out a sigh. "Sorry, pumpkin. I tried." He ruffled his daughter's dark brown locks.</p><p>"S'ok Daddy."</p><p>Kristy got up and left the table to take her usual nightly bath while Nick was still home to watch Cara.</p><p>The moment he heard the water running upstairs he sat back down and reopened the box of sugary delight.</p><p>"Promise me you won't say a word." He took out two.</p><p>"I pwomis."</p><p>"Good girl. Now eat up."</p><p>She smashed the little cake into her mouth creating a ring of frosting on her face. She was giggling the moment she'd swallowed a large portion of the cupcake, letting Nick wipe her face off with a wet paper towel as he finished his own dessert, careful not to make a mess.</p><p>Greg would have allowed this, he thought. Greg would understand what it meant to be a kid, to stop wetting the bed, and the need to celebrate. Hell, he would have bought her a whole sheet cake.</p><p>He stopped his thoughts in his tracks. What the hell was he thinking?</p><hr/><p>As soon as Nick entered the locker room that night everyone was asking about Greg.</p><p>"Why are ya'll asking me?" he asked, his thick southern accent slipping out.</p><p>"Cause you've been to see him more recently, and you took him home this morning. That's why, dummy." Catherine gave him a light slap upside the head.</p><p>"Cath!"</p><p>"Give me an answer and I won't be forced to do it again."</p><p>"Fine. He's doing fine. Still on pain killers." He was about to mention the nightmare of his back, but thought better of it and said instead, "He's getting better."</p><p>"Good."</p><p>Alone in the layout room later that night Nick was trying to piece together the events leading up to a young woman's murder when his mind slipped back to Greg's soft lips smashing into his own, the way he looked without his shirt on. He was a geek, but still very... no. He wouldn't say it. He couldn't. To say it meant it was real.</p><p>He swore softly when he realized he had a problem south of his navel. He didn't want to admit that either. Not when he'd been thinking about a coworker. And a male coworker at that.</p><p>He thought of Kristy.</p><p>Greg tried to reemerge in his thoughts, this time minus both his shirt and pants. Nick forced him out and brought Kristy back. His jeans loosened a little after a minute or two. Thinking about his wife should not do this to him. But it had, for a very long time, and he was unfortunately well aware of the fact.</p><p>Kissing Greg had been a bad idea. Though at the time it was too good an opportunity to pass up, and if he was honest with himself, he wasn't sorry he'd done it at all. Guilty maybe, but not sorry. All the same, he really shouldn't have done it. If it continued, and it wouldn't, he'd be leading Greg on. He didn't want Greg thinking he was only taking care of him in order to get some action.</p><p>He was married. Did he have to remind himself of this every ten seconds? Did he have to remind himself of his beautiful little girl? She meant the world to him and he'd sworn to protect her the day she was born. Swore never to desert her no matter what.</p><p>His thoughts spiraling out of control, Nick struggled to reign them in as he looked over the photograph stills of the dead woman taken from various clubs just hours before her death. If anyone knew what his life at home was like... he was quick to shut down that line of thinking. No one would know. Not even Greg. End of story.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Greg moaned, unable to keep the erotic sound sealed in his throat. Arching his back, he pushed himself into the large hand surrounding his heated flesh.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Nick!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A well muscled arm wrapped tighter around him, holding him in place. A chest pressed into his back. The hand moved faster, gripped harder, bringing him ever closer to the peak of his orgasm. He struggled to keep his mouth shut.</em>
</p><p>"Greg?" Nick's voice filled his ears. "Greg? You ok?"</p><p>With a jerk, his eyes flew open. He growled, as pain rolled over his back. "Shit."</p><p>"You ok?" Nick was standing beside the bed, looking down over him, concern etched on his face.</p><p>"Fine. I'm fine."</p><p>"You sure?"</p><p>"Yes!"</p><p>"Alright, alright. I was just checking. I thought I heard you call my name, that's all. Anyway, dinner will be ready shortly."</p><p>Greg didn't bother with a reply as his coworker left his bedroom to return to the kitchen. His back was healing. Slowly. And that wasn't helping anything. He was still in a lot of pain if he moved his arms too much. He could at least get up and walk around, though he had to be very careful. He could do some basic things around the apartment but his doctor had told him not to. At least not for a few more days. And the idiot had made sure Nick heard him say that.</p><p>Nick: hot Texan and his crush of many years who'd finally kissed him. Greg would have given up his entire collection of Marilyn Manson CDs just to have the experience of kissing him one more time. But he couldn't and he would have to live with that. Why did he have to be married? And if he was gay, why was he married to Kristy? He certainly didn't strike Greg as someone who was bi. He'd always seemed like an all or nothing kind of guy.</p><p>He felt a longing deep in his loins, and remembered clear as day, the dream he'd been having before his friend walked in on him. He was still hard, his boxers tenting, his cock unwilling to go flaccid without some form of help.</p><p>Why? Why him? Why, of all people, did this have to happen to him? Dinner would be brought in soon and there was no way he would be able to eat. Nick would see. He would know. Greg buried his face into his pillow, swallowing a groan. He closed his eyes, and willed this small action to take up as little time as possible. His hand slid along warm skin, until it came to the hollow just below his hip. He paused for a moment, listening for signs of Nick's return.</p><p>There were none.</p><p>He moved further south between his legs, took himself in hand and began to give quick, short strokes, hoping against all hope, that it would be over quickly. Sealing his mouth shut, forcing himself to breath through his nose, as hard as it was, he kept quiet under the covers. A light sheen of sweat broke out over his face and forehead. He stroked harder, ignoring the pull of tight skin across his back that his doctor had warned him about.</p><p>"Alright, dinner is served!" Nick entered the room, moving the door out of his way with a nudge of his hip. "Sorry, I'm not much of a cook." He stopped in his tracks when he saw Greg.</p><p>Before Greg understood what was happening Nick had set the tray of food on the dresser and was rushing to his side. Cheeks flushed, sweat drenching his skin and the sheets, he paused in his movements, biting his tongue, willing Nick to leave him alone.</p><p>"G? What's wrong? You're burning up!"</p><p>"No. I'm fine." Greg gritted his teeth. "I've gotta... just... can you... leave... just leave me... alone..."</p><p>Nick looked at him like he was an alien from outer space with three eyeballs in his head. Then his own cheeks dusted red, turning full on crimson rather fast.</p><p>Greg groaned when he saw the inevitable tent he'd made, not only in his underwear, but also in the sheets covering him. His hand hadn't moved from its grip around his post. He swallowed the lump in his throat.</p><p>"You're going to tear something on your back," Nick said, his voice softer than he ever thought it could be.</p><p>"Can't stop," Greg blurted.</p><p>"I know."</p><p>Nick climbed up onto the bed beside Greg, where he usually sat while they ate together. But this time he didn't sit on top of the covers. He lifted them from the mattress and pulled them up over himself, jeans, black t-shirt, and all.</p><p>Greg's heart hammered away in his chest so loud and fast he was sure it would explode. He shouldn't be doing this. Nick shouldn't be here. He was married. This was wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. But he needed this. Needed it so bad.</p><p>"Nick, don't."</p><p>"Shut up."</p><p>Warm fingers cascaded down over his. Greg closed his eyes. Not happening. This was so not happening. Hadn't he just dreamed about this?</p><p>"I won't let you tear your back. Not when we've worked so hard to get it to heal as much as it has." Nick's voice was trembling. Was he nervous?</p><p>Those warm fingers curled around his own, carefully prying them off his heated, leaking flesh.</p><p>"You can't do this on your own right now, and you need it done," Nick said, his voice now shaky for sure. "That's all."</p><p>That was all it was. Nick's large hand wrapped around his shaft... began to pump him... slowly... so agonizing. He arched into the touch and it sped up, faster, tighter, surer. Heat and pleasure gathered together, intertwined until he was struggling to breathe, babbling, moaning, wanting more, more, always more. He burst forth without warning, biting his tongue to keep from calling out Nick's name.</p><p>God he was good in bed. Greg fell back onto the sheets, exhausted, yet fully relaxed for the first time in a long while, working hard to catch his breath. The best sex he'd had in a long time... and it was only a hand job...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nick slipped out from beneath the covers and rushed to the bathroom. What had he just done? He looked at his semen covered hand and back at the door in the direction of Greg's bedroom. His legs were trembling. He told himself he'd done it only to help out a friend in need. But it was more than that. He wanted to do it.</p><p>His jeans were tight. Too tight. He could let it go, ignore and forget, wash up, and get Greg his dinner, or...</p><p>He switched on the faucet in front of him as he lowered the zipper of his pants. He pushed the little angel off his shoulder trying desperately to remind him of his family and eased his wet hand inside, feeling the now cool liquid on his hot skin. Oh God.</p><p>In his mind, he watched Greg's eyes flutter closed, saw his body tense, heard the moans, knew he was giving Greg everything he'd ever wanted. He began to pump himself hard and fast. Only a minute or two later and he was spilling into his hand.</p><p>A geek... but one hell of a sexy geek at that. And he'd said it. Nick had finally admitted it to himself. It was hard not to. Sure the angel had been pushed off his shoulder, but that didn't mean she wasn't still hovering around nearby. Nor did it mean he'd let the devil take over.</p><p>He was a good friend and good friends helped out when they were needed, though not usually in the way he had.</p><p>After washing up, he returned to Greg's bedroom and brought his dinner over to the bed. He set the tray down, catching the guarded look in Greg's eyes as the younger man pulled the covers up over his shoulder protectively.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that..."</p><p>"Forget about it." Nick hoped he could.</p><p>Without anything more to say, the clink of silverware on plates filled the room.</p><p>Wanting to ease the awkward silence, Nick tried to say something, anything, to get Greg to be his usual jovial self. "Oh man, you wouldn't believe what Hodges did last night..."</p><p>Greg didn't even look up at his friend's words. Had he even heard anything? Nick told himself it was because of what he'd just done. He would give Greg some time. And maybe if they didn't talk about it, or take it any further he would get out of his funk.</p><hr/><p>Greg sat on the couch, leaning forward, a pillow jammed between his right thigh and the arm rest. Nick sat beside him, remote control in hand, his fingers moving quickly, making the car on the television screen swerve around the tight corner of the race track. Greg's own race car, cherry red, wasn't too far behind Nick's blueberry colored vehicle.</p><p>Friends had often teased Greg about his race car driving skills. When his car swerved at the same corner Nick's had, his body twisted with the motion, as if he was actually in the car driving. He felt his scars pull at the movement of the swerve. They pulled again as he spun his car back on the road after nearly crashing into a billboard sign for the fifth time.</p><p>The bandages had been gone for most of the week and his back felt much better without them. The doctor had ensured him he didn't have to worry about tearing his skin open anymore. And even though he was still scarred, both his doctor and Nick had claimed his back looked good. But that didn't matter. He knew he would always be scarred. Always. Big, fat, long, and ugly.</p><p>His car rolled off the track and into a tree. It didn't move. Would he always feel his scars every time he moved? Every time he drove a race car in a video game? Or pulled the box of pasta off the top shelf in his kitchen? Or reached for a particular chemical in the lab?</p><p>He threw the remote in his hands across the room, hearing it bust open and the batteries pop out on impact. He buried his face in his hands. What was he going to do?</p><p>"Are you ok? What hurts?" Nick was right there with him, abandoning the game the moment he knew something was wrong. Of course. Mr. Super Hero Married Man Perfect Texan would have to be like that. Of course.</p><p>Angry tears filled his eyes and threatened to spill over his cheeks but he held them back. He was a guy and guys didn't cry over stupid crap like this. He wouldn't be caught dead.</p><p>"G?"</p><p>Nothing hurt. Nothing but his heart. Nick was straight. Never mind that they'd kissed, that Nick had voluntarily jacked him off. He was also taken. He had a family, and Greg had no one. He used to go to clubs to hook up with men. They'd crash in a motel room and for half a night he'd pretend he was in Nick's arms until they parted ways. But now his scars would get in the way of that. No one would want to see them.</p><p>"Talk to me G. What's going on? What are you thinking? Let me in."</p><p>"No guy is going to want to see this... me," Greg croaked out, unaware he was even speaking out loud.</p><p>A hand slipped onto his shoulder and gave it a good squeeze, then stayed there, burning a hole through his t-shirt. Greg felt his skin stinging at the touch, his face a heated blush.</p><p>Then he realized Nick was talking to him, and his words eventually made their way into Greg's consciousness, "You're a survivor. That's what they'll see. And you're not ugly. Not by a long shot. You're far from it. You always have been, and that hasn't changed."</p><p>Nick's other hand reached over to caress his cheek, before turning him so they faced each other. Their eyes connected. What was that in Nick's brown eyes? They'd grown darker, almost black. There was something there, something calling to him, but his senses had gone haywire. All Greg knew in that moment was the feeling of Nick's hand on his shaft, pumping him to release and the sweet hardness of their lips pressed together.</p><p>He was breathing hard before he knew it, his light cotton pajama bottoms tenting easily. Oh God... not again. Nick's eyes held his in their gaze. He was trapped, unable to move, to escape, as those lips drew nearer and nearer.</p><p>Nick's mouth caught his upper lip, as Greg let out a moan and tried to break away. But that hot mouth worked like molten lava against his own, opening him up, warming his body, making his cock harder even when he tried not to let it get to him. As Nick changed position, kneeling on either side of his hips, pushing him into the back of the couch, he found himself kissing back, just as fervently, inviting Nick inside. Nick licked the roof of his mouth, sucked his tongue right out of it.</p><p>No longer were they two separate beings, very quickly they were becoming one. Nick pressed his body into Greg's, letting him know how much he needed this, how much he wanted this.</p><p>Greg knew it was wrong of him to let Nick do this to him, but at the same time, he couldn't stop it even if he tried. Letting Nick maul his mouth he pulled the other man's shirt out of his pants and up over his head, revealing a well-sculpted chest and perfectly muscled arms. They weren't too thick, like those of his ex, but also not as skinny as his own. His hands traveled over that hot skin, needing the contact, wishing he'd had this years ago.</p><p>Before he knew it his own shirt had disappeared and it was as if Nick was worshiping his scarred flesh. A groan caught his ear, "Need you... so bad."</p><p>His mouth found Nick's chin, then his neck as he made his way southward. He put all logical thought out of his head, and sucked at the hollow just above his chest, listening as Nick's breathing hitched, feeling his heart rate speed up beneath his hand. His other traveled lower, gripped him between his legs. A long, sexy, needy groan followed as Nick pushed into his hand.</p><p>He wasn't supposed to let things get this far... but that mouth... Nick pushed into his hand again, guiding him to the zipper and the button in his way. It wasn't like he hadn't done this before. Plenty of times he had. But this was Nick. His friend. His coworker. Nick's hot mouth worked his neck. He'd have a nice bruise tomorrow. The button popped open and the zipper slid down. Nick guided him inside, showing him what he wanted, needed. His fingers circled around a thick, hard shaft. Nick stopped sucking long enough to groan.</p><p>Briefly he wondered if Kristy had ever had this effect on Nick in bed.</p><p>He brought him free of his confining jeans, stroked him just to listen to him grunt and moan at the touch. Pants slipped further down Nick's hips, giving Greg more room to work. He ducked low, seeing the pearl of precome ready and waiting for him. Letting his tongue out of its cage he lapped it up, letting the salty, bitter drop slide down into his cavern.</p><p>He heard Nick swear somewhere above him and took his heated flesh full into his mouth, sucking urgently as he did so. He loosened his grip, began licking down the long length, letting his imagination run wild as he pictured Nick behind him, shaft in hand, penetrating his body. His own need burned deeper inside himself, and he moaned around Nick's cock, the vibrations giving more pleasure. Nick's fingers twined in his hair, his hips beginning to buck.</p><p>Greg opened his throat, took Nick in deeper, pleasured him to the best of his abilities.</p><p>"G..." Nick warned, breath choppy. "Can't... wait... gotta..." He was spilling hot seed into Greg's mouth before he could finish his sentence. Greg kept working him, sucking until there was nothing left.</p><p>When he finally released Nick, he was still shocked that he'd actually done it. But his own needs would not back down. As Nick flopped back onto the couch Greg slid his hand beneath the waistband of his jeans and took himself. He shuddered. Closed his eyes. Let himself imagine it was Nick's hand again.</p><p>And it was. He felt sweaty hands close over his own, pulling him away from himself, pulling his pants down past his hips. Opening his eyes he watched Nick's turn midnight black once again as they stared between his legs at his weeping erection. A tongue shot out, licked up from the base to the tip, and across. Greg moaned. The tongue slipped into the slit as warm lips took his swollen head inside.</p><p>He spread his legs wider for Nick, unconscious of doing so, only knowing his need. The mouth sucked, tongue lapped at the beads of precome slipping down his length. He wouldn't last long. He needed to warn... His orgasm hit and his own seed shot into Nick's waiting mouth. Nick continued to lick in long quick strokes even as he sucked hard. His orgasm didn't stop right away and he found himself pushing further into Nick's mouth until he felt the back of his throat. He thrust deep several times until he was empty and he'd collapsed back onto the couch in relief, the burn of pleasure slowly giving way to warm relaxation.</p><hr/><p>Nick was horrified at what he'd just done. He hoped it didn't register on his face as he paid for the large bottle of Coke at the convenience store and rushed out without his change. Back in his car he downed the soda all in one go, trying to wash his mouth of the taste and the smell of Greg. Oh God, what had he done? Like a good Catholic, the guilt piled on, but at the same time he wasn't sorry. When he was truly honest with himself, he had enjoyed it. Greg made him feel things he hadn't felt for anyone in a long time, made him do things he'd sworn he would never do again when he married Kristy.</p><p>The guilt he felt wasn't necessarily over what he'd done to Greg, or what Greg had done to him. It was about what he was doing to his family. To Cara. He had his needs. Anyone would agree with that. All men had their needs. So did women. But he hadn't been with anyone since... all he had to do was look at his daughter and he knew how long it had been. It wasn't her fault. He could only blame it on himself for sleeping with Kristy when he knew it was a bad idea in the first place. He'd liked Greg even then. That should have told him something.</p><p>He pulled out of the parking lot and began to drive home.</p><p>He needed someone to talk to, but there was no one. He'd just had sex with Greg, so that left him out. Kristy would kill him. And everyone else thought his marriage was perfect, still in its honeymoon stage two years after the wedding. He would have gone to a therapist, but he couldn't confide in someone he didn't know. And seeing the company shrink would go on his record. Maybe not what they talked about, but Ecklie would still know that he'd gone.</p><p>When he thought about it, he wanted people to think they were still a happy couple and a happy family. Telling friends and family, even a shrink, that you fucked up always ruined everything. It made them look at you different. You suddenly weren't the same dependable guy they knew and trusted. You were the screw up that couldn't hold the family together, at least until the kid got through college. And if you couldn't hold a family together, how good would you be on the job, in the field?</p><p>Kristy's car was in the driveway and the lights were on in the house when he arrived. Nick sighed as he stepped out of his car. Walking up the driveway he noticed the little body pressed against the window in the seldom used diningroom. Cara was smiling as she peeled herself away from the glass to wave at him before running to the front door to meet him. He pasted a smile on just for her and opened the door, his arms open and ready to catch her when she slammed into him. He picked her up and ran into the livingroom, holding her out like an airplane as she flew along the air currents of the house, giggling uncontrollably.</p><p>When her mother stalked in, arms crossed, and lips in a tight frown, Cara stopped laughing and Nick brought her in to sit on his hip, her tiny arms wrapped around his neck.</p><p>"Where the hell have you been?!" Kristy screamed at Nick, her long brown hair swinging as she glared at him.</p><p>Without thinking, he covered Cara's right ear with his hand and brought her other to lean against his shoulder.</p><p>"You're never here, Nick! You're supposed to be taking care of your daughter. But nooo, I finally called the lab because I'm sick of all this stupid overtime you've been working. Your union shouldn't make you work this much. It's illegal! And then I finally talk to Warrick and he tells me you're not working overtime. He tells me you're out taking care of Greg. What the fuck, Nick. Maybe you never got the message, but I have a life too, you know. And I can't be taking care of her twenty-four hours a day. At least twelve of those are yours. You should be here!" She pointed a long painted fingernail at him, blaming him for all of her troubles.</p><p>"Kristy," he tried to get a word in edgewise. "You don't understand... the lab explosion... he was in it... I..."</p><p>"I know all about that little explosion. He told me everything."</p><p>Everything? Nick's stomach clenched and twisted. He held onto his daughter a little tighter, feeling her trembling in fear of her outraged mother. Just what exactly did Warrick know? "Of course I played the perfect wife. He still thinks you bang me every night. Ugh. Stupid. He couldn't be further from the truth."</p><p>He needed to do something. Cara didn't need to hear this argument, but he was loath to put her down. Her hot tears were already soaking his shirt.</p><p>"I feel bad for Greg, sure. But you have a family to take care of. And we should come first! Warrick's still single. He could easily take care of Greg. Or Catherine. I bet they've got extra time on their hands."</p><p>"Catherine's a single mom," Nick automatically corrected.</p><p>"Whatever. He could have stayed in the hospital. And the way Warrick told it, the amount of attention Greg needs for his wounds, sounds like that's right where he should have been. Let the nurses take care of them. That's what they get paid to do."</p><p><em>"They weren't hot guys."</em> What a time for Greg's words to come back to him. He would have laughed if Kristy didn't look so pissed off at him. "He hates hospitals."</p><p>"Don't start defending him! He doesn't deserve it. If he'd been smart and not made any mistakes he wouldn't have nearly blown himself up along with you in the first place. And, if he'd done what he should have and stayed in the hospital till he was well enough to work again, we wouldn't be having this argument!"</p><p>Who was she talking about? Greg was a genius. Smarter than anyone else in the lab, including himself.</p><p>"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to put her to bed." Nick turned away from his wife. "She doesn't need to hear this."</p><p>"Fine. Your dinner's on the table. Probably cold by now since I never know when you're coming home anymore."</p><p>"What is it?" Nick asked, even as he was trudging up the stairs with his crying daughter still clutching at his shirt.</p><p>"Healthy Choice."</p><p>"I'm not hungry."</p><p>Sitting Cara down on her bed, he grabbed a tissue from the night stand and dabbed at her red rimmed eyes. She looked up at him and crawled into his lap for a comforting hug.</p><p>"I love you, sweetie. And I need you to believe me when I say that's never going to change."</p><p>"I luv you too, Daddy," she sniffled.</p><p>"Hey, why don't we get you all warm and cozy in your bed and then I can read you your favorite book? Does that sound like a good idea?"</p><p>She nodded and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands.</p><p>Together, they chose the pajamas she wanted to wear and got her changed and tucked into bed. He pulled her favorite bedtime book, <em>Alphabears</em>, from the bookshelf and lay down beside her on top of the covers. He held the book open so she could see the beautifully painted pictures.</p><p>"A is for Amanda," he began. "A good teddy bear, who carries sweet apples everywhere." He'd read this book to her so many times he almost had it memorized. By the time he'd reached Zak, "who says that it is true, that zippers do better than buttons can do," Cara was sound asleep, leaning into him while hugging his arm tight.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alphabears does exist! It's an amazingly written and illustrated book by Kathleen and Michael Hague. (Michael is the same guy who illustrated The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien.)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm taking some liberties with the time line. I know Greg goes back to work the week after the explosion in the show, but here, it's been a lot longer. Just imagine all these scenes from the last few chapters to this one happening over the summer between seasons three and four when anything could have been going on without our knowledge. *wink* *wink*</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Walking into the lab, Nick's stomach felt a little nauseous and full of nervous butterflies. His life seemed to be going to hell. He and Kristy hadn't talked to each other since their last fight and he hadn't returned to Greg's. Greg didn't need help with even the basic chores anymore, which was his excuse for not even bothering to call him. He wasn't sure what to say to him anyway. A bitter, salty taste filled his mouth every morning when he went to bed, reminding him of their escapades on the couch. And it wouldn't go away, no matter how many mints he chewed.</p><p>Now he walked the halls of the lab, knowing it was Greg's first night back in three months. It was inevitable they would see each other again and he knew that, though he had a feeling it would be awkward. People might start to realize things had been going on under their noses. Whatever it was they'd started had to stop.</p><p>Nick stepped around the man making a few, last-minute repairs to the ceiling outside the DNA lab, which looked like the explosion had never happened.</p><p>Every time he walked past without the loud blast of obnoxious music, he was reminded of that day. He'd been in the AV lab with Archie when Greg went flying through the glass window, his stomach lurching with a fear for the other man he'd never known. He wanted to run to him, but someone held him back so the paramedics could work on the injured DNA tech, get him on a gurney, and out to a waiting ambulance.</p><p>He'd gone emotionally numb for awhile, before he realized where he was, and that he needed to get back to work. He had a case to solve, a killer to bring to justice, and the paramedics had their own hands full without him getting in the way.</p><p>"Nick? You ok?"</p><p>Startled at the voice, Nick looked up to see Hodges giving him an odd look, perhaps wondering if he was insane. He'd been staring at the DNA lab. Nick shook his head.</p><p>"No, I'm fine." He turned and made his way to the breakroom to get his assignment, leaving Hodges to stare after him.</p><p>Upon walking in, however, he was met with the sight of Greg sitting alone at the table.</p><p>He had to do something. Greg was watching him with an expectant expression on his face. Someone had to speak first and Greg didn't appear to have anything to say. That left him.</p><p>"Didn't mean to leave so fast... that night," Nick mumbled, finally moving away from the door to sit across from him. He'd been running by the time he'd reached the parking lot, running away from an out of control situation.</p><p>"It wasn't like we had anything planned afterward or anything." Greg smiled his brilliant, crazy smile, and Nick knew he wasn't mad at him for running away. He wasn't stupid though. He knew what Nick had been doing. And he was ok with it.</p><p>Greg was so cool and calm about what they'd done that it helped lift the heavy load from Nick's shoulders. He slumped in his chair, relaxing for the first time in several days and let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.</p><p>"Hey, I really need some coffee in me before shift, and you do make good coffee," Greg said, his left eyebrow raised. "How about you make me some. If you promise not to tell anyone, I'll share my secret stash with you."</p><p>The man had a glint in his eye that made Nick smile. "Sure, I'll gladly make some coffee."</p><p>How the hell did Greg do this to him? One minute he'd been claiming that whatever they had going on between them had to stop, and now he was caving to Greg's wishes and desires the moment they were alone together. He couldn't keep going back and forth. Either he was with Greg or he wasn't, but he couldn't be both.</p><p>"I think we really need to talk about what's going on." He didn't know what he was going to say, or how he was going to say it. Would Greg even understand? "I mean... it's just that..."</p><p>The breakroom door opened, interrupting him mid-sentence.</p><hr/><p>"Greg, how have you been doing?" his supervisor asked, letting the door fall closed behind him.</p><p>"Doing fine. Much better."</p><p>Nick had a deer in the headlights look, as if their boss had caught them in a very compromising situation.</p><p>"Good. That's good to hear." Grissom went to the coffee maker and poured himself a cup of the sludge that had been sitting there when Greg arrived half an hour earlier.</p><p>It was just like him not to take a close look at his employee, even if he had been out on medical leave for several months. If a cursory question with a simple answer was good enough for Grissom, it was good enough for Greg. At least this way he wouldn't be forced to tell the truth about how nervous he actually was, among other, more private, things. The less Grissom knew, the better.</p><p>Greg grabbed the newspaper sitting at the other end of the table and ripped off an edge. He scribbled a note on it.</p><p>"Well, it's been great chatting, but I need to find out what they did to my lab. I'll see you later?" With Grissom facing the sink for a moment, Greg handed Nick the slip of paper which read: 'Top shelf, behind outdated chips. Relax."</p><p>Nick nodded and took the note. "Yeah sure."</p><p>"If you need anything, just let me know, alright?" Grissom called over his shoulder.</p><p>"Sure boss." Heading for the door, Greg put a light spring in his step for the benefit of said boss.</p><hr/><p>"You don't have to fake it, you know," Nick said a few minutes later, bumping the door open with his hip. He carried a coffee mug in both hands.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Greg took the mug offered to him, enjoying the feel of Nick's skin as their hands gently brushed together for a brief moment. "Thanks."</p><p>"When you left the breakroom. You made Grissom think everything was alright."</p><p>"Everything is alright. I'm better. I don't need to be babied and I want him to know that. What's wrong with that?"</p><p>"Nothing but... this is your first night back. It won't be easy."</p><p>"How do you know?" Greg was on the defensive. He knew he shouldn't be. Knew he didn't have to be with Nick. After all, he'd seen him at his worst.</p><p>"Greg, you need me, you give me a call. Ok?"</p><p>"What, so you can give me a blow job and make everything better again?" That was low. Almost too low. What was wrong with him tonight?</p><p>Nick's face turned a bright shade of red before he made sure the door was closed and the hallway was empty. But, surprisingly, he didn't stay embarrassed for long as he stepped into Greg's personal space.</p><p>"Greg." His look was pointed. "I'm not leaving the lab tonight. Page me if you need me."</p><p>Nick turned without another word and walked back out the door.</p><p>"Hey Greggo!"</p><p>Greg blinked, moving his eyes from Nick's retreating broad shoulders to see Bobby Dawson entering his lab.</p><p>"Bobby, what's going on? Long time no see."</p><p>"I know. I was gonna go visit you, but Nick said you didn't want company over. You doing ok?"</p><p>"As long as ten million people don't ask me that tonight, yeah, I'm fine. And I did have Nick tell everyone not to come over. I don't need Catherine mothering me."</p><p>"But Nick gets that right?"</p><p>Greg blushed.</p><p>"He's married, Greg. What were you thinking?"</p><p>"I told him not to. But he wanted to."</p><p>"Well, I hope you didn't do anything stupid. I know you like him."</p><p>"I do not!" Greg struggled to get the image of Nick sucking him out of his head.</p><p>"A lot."</p><p>Greg shook his head. "Nothing happened. He helped me change bandages and cooked for me, did my laundry. That's it. I swear." He hated having to lie to a good friend.</p><p>"Alright then." But at least he'd bought the story.</p><p>"Look, I'm sorry I didn't want visitors. It's just... it did stuff to me... I don't want people to see."</p><p>"Like what? Scars? That's a part of life, Greggo. Emotional or physical. You should know that. No one's going to think any less of you because you've got scars. You survived, and that's the important thing. That's what those scars show. You survived something that could have easily killed you."</p><p>Though Nick hadn't mentioned anything about him almost dying, their words were almost identical. Had they talked about him while he'd been laid up at home? Did Nick feel that way too? If their roles were reversed, he knew he would have been terrified of losing Nick in the explosion.</p><p>"You'll be fine. Oh, I've gotta run. Just saw someone enter my lab. I'll see you for lunch maybe?"</p><p>"Yeah, maybe."</p><hr/><p>God, he was exhausted. Everyone had stopped into the DNA lab to see how he was doing, regardless of whether he was processing anything for them or not. It got irritating after the fourth person. Nick returned, even when he didn't call for him, and brought him a second cup of comforting coffee. He was the only one who didn't ask any questions. Probably because he'd spent so much time at Greg's he didn't have to ask to know if anything was wrong anymore. Greg was thankful anyway, even if Nick was analyzing him to chew him out about something later.</p><p>Shift was now over. But Greg doubted his body would cooperate with him and carry him out the door. His forehead found the table and he rested there, his eyes closed for a few minutes, thinking how nice it would be to fall asleep for awhile.</p><p>"G, come on. I'll drive you home."</p><p>He raised his head to see Nick in the doorway, looking horribly sexy as he leaned against the frame. "No, no, I'm alright. You don't have to do that."</p><p>"Greg, get your coat." Nick wasn't giving him an option and in the end, he wasn't sure he wanted one. Why couldn't Nick be his boyfriend again?</p><p>He thought he fell asleep on the way home, but he wasn't sure. Nick guided his sleepy form into his apartment building, patted his pockets down for his keys at his front door, and headed him straight to bed.</p><p>Greg changed into the shirt and pants Nick handed him and crawled into bed, sighing, at the wonderful feeling of the soft pillow beneath his head. He blinked up at Nick. What he wouldn't give to have the Texan in bed beside him. But he wouldn't, couldn't, ask for that.</p><p>Nick then leaned down and placed a gentle kiss against his lips. "I'll pick you up for work tonight. Sleep well." And then he was gone.</p><p>If that wasn't a genuine sign of someone who cared, what was?</p><p>After the last time Nick had been in his apartment, Greg doubted anything even remotely romantic, or erotic, would pass between them. Nick had runaway so fast. And he already had a life with Kristy. What was Greg expecting? Certainly not a goodnight kiss.</p><p>Now he would never fall asleep.</p><hr/><p>The following morning Nick drove him home again.</p><p>"I should probably get home." Nick's eyes roamed over the livingroom where he'd slept for so long, taking care of Greg. He fidgeted with the keys in his hands, stalling for time. When he did turn back to the door, he didn't look at Greg. Not even to say goodbye.</p><p>Greg's hand shot out and grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. "No. Stay. We don't have to do anything... like... you know... but... we could watch a movie. Maybe?" Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Nick had to go home. Why would he want to stay?</p><p>"Movie?" Nick was skeptical. But he hadn't said no.</p><p>"Yeah, I just picked up Pirates of the Carribean."</p><p>"Is that the one with Johnny Depp?" He still hadn't said no yet. Greg was smiling on the inside, a big, wide, cheesy grin.</p><p>"Yeah, but I was really thinking about Orlando Bloom."</p><p>They stared at each other for a moment before Greg let the grin burst across his face. Within moments they were both laughing and Nick was moving toward the couch, taking his jacket off as he went.</p><hr/><p>The credits rolled on the movie and Nick debated how best to wake Greg up and get him into bed. The younger man had fallen asleep, his head resting on Nick's shoulder. While he debated, he couldn't help but ask the simple question: Why couldn't this be his home life with his wife and daughter? Between the two of them the only one who would come within ten feet of him was Cara.</p><p>Greg certainly had a personality that drew him like a moth to a flame, the exact opposite of his wife's. His heart beat faster at the recognition of such a fact. If they kept this up Greg would be the death of him for sure.</p><p>With a heavy sigh, Nick dropped a tender kiss on Greg's forehead to wake him up.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you stay," Greg mumbled. "I guess I just got a little lonely."</p><p>"It's ok."</p><p>Nick got to his feet and offered his hand to Greg.</p><p>"You don't have to help me. I'm all better now."</p><p>"Sure you are." Nick let a grin slip out. "You're so tired it's like you're drunk. Come on, take my hand."</p><p>Greg stared at it for a long moment before slapping his own down on his palm, and pulling himself up.</p><p>Sure Greg might have been a little over tired, but he could still take care of himself. Nick didn't have to walk him to his bedroom and help him into bed, much less tuck him in. But he did. Even as he questioned his own actions, Nick made sure Greg was warm and comfortable. As he went to leave, their eyes locked and he felt himself being drawn down, toward Greg's sleepy smile. He knew it was wrong. He'd been thinking it ever since... But he wanted it... needed it so bad his entire body ached.</p><p>The kiss was gentle at first, soft, consuming. Never had anyone made him feel so alive before. He didn't want to let go. Greg's hands came out from under the covers, wrapped around his head, brought him closer. He fell on top of Greg, his brain starting to malfunction with every move of Greg's lips and tongue.</p><p>Skin glided against skin, tingles raced throughout his body, and it wasn't until then he realized he was completely naked and hard. Everything happened so fast, Nick was hardly aware of Greg's cock rubbing against his, or the hand coming between them, holding them together as he rubbed faster and faster, his breath catching as he moaned.</p><p>"Fuck, Nick. Oh! Please..."</p><p>Pleasure filled him to the breaking point. Damn Greg was good. Everything went fuzzy and his eyes closed, as his orgasm rolled over him in wave after wave. When he could no longer hold himself up, his whole body trembling after the exertion, he collapsed next to Greg, breathing heavily, exhausted.</p><p>Covers were pulled up over him and a warm body pressed itself into his side. It had been a long time since he'd been this close to anyone, and it felt good. It felt nice. Light snoring caught his attention and slowly drew him into a deep sleep.</p><hr/><p>His eyes flickered open and he stared up at the ceiling. It was white. Not peach. Nick blinked and looked around him, startled to find another warm body so close to him it had almost melded into his. Short spiked hair tickled his arm. Trying to slide out from the other side of the bed, Greg only burrowed closer, as if he was afraid of losing the warmth, even in his state of deep sleep. Seeing Greg trying to keep him there hurt. He wanted to stay. His heart told him he should, that Greg would want him to. But his rational mind, now that the sexual haze had departed, knew differently. He would only hurt Greg if he stayed. His life was ruined as it was. There was no need to bring Greg down with him.</p><p>Quickly and quietly, Nick got out of bed, ignoring Greg's struggles to stay warm, and grabbed his clothes. Dressing in the livingroom, he left before Greg had time to wake up.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the start of season four, for those who might not catch the specific episode references that will appear in the next few chapters.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Greg picked up the empty test tube. He really wasn't in the mood for this tonight. It wasn't one of his better nights.</p><p>"I'm just getting started on your DNA sample, Nick. It'll be awhile. You know that."</p><p>Carefully, he tweezed the piece of hair from the paper bindle. His hands started to shake as the tweezers got closer and closer to the test tube. There was an audible rattle as the metal and glass connected.</p><p>Nick leaned over his shoulder and watched his hands for a moment before looking into his face. "G? You ok?"</p><p>"I'm fine."</p><p>"No you're not."</p><p>Finally, the hair slipped into the test tube. Greg reached for the syringe, but the longer Nick stood there, chest pressed to his back at a slight angle, the shakier his hands got.</p><p>"Maybe you need to take a break."</p><p>"I'm not letting that explosion beat me."</p><p>"Did I say that? I meant, take a break right now. Just for a few minutes. It might help you to relax a bit, steady your hands."</p><p>Nick was the one who had runaway the last time they'd been together, months ago. Again. Nick was the one who refused to talk about what was going on between them. So why was he acting like he cared so much? He just wanted Nick to go away. Maybe then his hands would stop shaking.</p><p>Nick moved to stand directly behind him. Reaching around Greg, he slid his hands down lab coated arms leaving a trail of warmth behind, until skin met skin. Their fingers intertwined and Nick held Greg's hands in his for several frozen moments.</p><p>"We're at work," Greg mumbled, barely coherent. His heart pounded inside his rib cage. After how many months of nothing, Nick suddenly felt like everything was ok? Like they could act like lovers at work when the whole lab knew Nick was married to someone else? No way.</p><p>"They stopped trembling. Didn't they?"</p><p>Greg looked down, and indeed, his hands were still. He saw that the halls were empty on the other side of the glass. No one had seen them.</p><p>"Thanks," he said, and knew he meant it, even though he wished he didn't.</p><p>"You're welcome." Nick stepped away toward the door. "Hey, when I get off shift I'm gonna head over to the gym. You want to join me?"</p><p>"Can I think about it?"</p><p>"Of course. Take your time." Nick gave his shoulder a squeeze and left the DNA lab.</p><hr/><p>Nick was already stretching in the corner of the gym when he saw Greg walk in early the next morning. He wasn't the only one who'd noticed the man wearing slightly baggy jeans and a Marilyn Manson shirt with his brown hair spiked up and partially bleached. He looked as out of place with the buff cops on the other side of the room as they would at a bar full of drag queens. Not that the drag queens would complain. They were good looking officers. But straight as hell. And probably married.</p><p>The cops kept their eyes on Greg as he made his way over to Nick, his sneakers silent on the grey carpeting. To save him any grief they might put him through, Nick called out to him, letting them know he had a friend in the room so they wouldn't bother him.</p><p>"Where's your sweats man? I thought you were gonna work out with me."</p><p>"I'm not here to work out. You know I can't run in the Desert Relay because I'm not officially a CSI yet. So why bother working out and preparing for it?"</p><p>"Ok, so what are you doing here then?"</p><p>"I came because you asked me to. Besides, I thought you might like a little pep while you work out."</p><p>"You're not gonna dress in a mini skirt and carry pom poms around with you, are you?"</p><p>"Do you see a mini skirt?"</p><p>"Good."</p><p>"But maybe... when you cross that finish line... I could be dressed up for you."</p><p>Nick lowered his voice into a warning growl. "Don't say that around here. If you ever do that you'll get yourself killed. You hear me? You're already on those cops' radar as someone they should be making fun of."</p><p>"I was only joking."</p><p>"Please don't joke about that around here." Nick locked eyes with him, pleading.</p><p>"Ok, I promise. But why do you care so much? I mean, it's not like you've come to see me since the last time you ran away."</p><p>Shit. Of course Greg had to bring that up. Thankfully, it had been awhile since they'd slept together. He was doing his best not to fall for him. But if he was, why had he invited him to work out at the gym? Because he was lonely. Because he missed Greg's voice. His touch. His very presence. His best obviously wasn't good enough.</p><p>He knew the moment they got close again he would be running in the other direction. Why couldn't he make up his mind and just go one way or the other? Because he couldn't stay away. Like a moth to a flame he was drawn.</p><p>"Tell me something." Nick switched legs and began stretching the other. "How long have your hands been doing that?"</p><p>"You know when it started. And you're changing the subject." Greg leaned on a bar bell set.</p><p>"How often does that happen?"</p><p>"If you were involved more, you would know."</p><p>"Don't act like a child, Greg. Be straight with me."</p><p>Greg snorted.</p><p>"You know what I mean. Tell me the truth. I might not know what to do about this situation between us, but that doesn't mean I don't care. Now, talk to me."</p><p>He sighed. "At least once or twice when I'm at work. Occasionally when I'm at home, but not a lot."</p><p>"Everyday when you're at work?"</p><p>Greg nodded.</p><p>Nick was concerned, though he tried not to show it. How had he missed this? Maybe Greg was right and he wasn't involved enough. But was being so involved in Greg's life really such a good idea? Even if he was drawn to him like he was?</p><p>He got up and moved to the treadmill not far away.</p><p>"You still seeing your therapist?"</p><p>Greg sighed and followed him. "Yeah."</p><p>"Good. Look, I know things are rough right now, but they'll get better."</p><p>"How can you be sure?"</p><p>"I can't be." Nick stretched his arms a little and continued to warm up the rest of his toned body. "But I know you. It might take some time, but you'll bounce back stronger than ever. You have dreams and goals, and I know nothing's going to get in the way of them. Not even shaky hands."</p><p>"What about your dreams and goals?"</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"The promotion? I heard Sara talking about it the other day. She wants it pretty bad. And you know how much she tries to suck up to Grissom. What if she gets it?"</p><p>"Then congratulations are in order. I'm happy right where I am. Even though I am qualified for the job, and it would be nice to have that fatter paycheck, I don't need it."</p><p>"Wow."</p><p>"Wow what?"</p><p>"Did you talk to Kristy about it?"</p><p>"Yeah right. She'd just bite my head off and tell me to suck up to the boss more so she can spend more money shopping for shoes. She's got enough clothes. We don't need the money. We're good. Besides, we all know how tight the city's budget is. They're still debating about whether or not they want this position. I heard they're also thinking of the CSI level one spot you're looking for."</p><p>"There isn't room for both. And we both know they're going to take strong experience over whatever the hell it is I've got."</p><p>"You'll get your experience. Grissom knows what you want and he'll let you have it. You've been exceptional in the lab and you'll be exceptional in the field too."</p><p>"You're nervous about me switching."</p><p>"How...?"</p><p>"I know you, Nick. You can't hide things like that from me."</p><p>"I'm sorry. You have to understand." Nick lowered his voice so no one else could hear him. "This is new for me." He indicated the awkward relationship between them with an equally awkward hand motion. "I don't know what I'm doing, what I should be doing. I don't know anything."</p><p>"What, you think this is easier on me? Hell no. You think I know what I'm doing? Not a chance. Besides, I haven't seen you outside work in months. Is that what you want?"</p><p>Nick shook his head. "I don't know. And I don't want to talk about it. Not here."</p><p>"Then stop yackking and get on with your workout. I came here to make sure you're in good shape so we win this year. And that's my goal. Nothing more. Nothing less. You think you can deal with that?"</p><p>Nick nodded and finally began a slow jog on the treadmill. It wasn't just that he didn't need the money. Greg wanted out of the lab bad enough that Nick would gladly give up the promotion so he could get there. Greg was right though. He was nervous about him going into the field. Things happened in the real world. But, things also happened in the lab too. Greg's scars were proof of that, and Nick couldn't hold him back from his dreams. He wanted the position and he would get it.</p><p>As Greg watched, he picked up his pace, his whole body beginning to sweat. He brushed his forehead with the back of his hand before the tiny droplets stung his eyes.</p><p>He didn't want to be one of those closeted married types who had a boyfriend on the side. The notion that they'd actually had sex filled his mind every time he was reminded of their relationship, even though it wasn't really what he would call a relationship. Still. They'd had sex. And that had to mean something.</p><p>Right. He was a closeted married man in a secret relationship with another man, even though he spent most of his time pretending he wasn't.</p><p>And he couldn't be. Right? If he ignored the urge to kiss him, and didn't sleep with him again, that kept him on the right path. Didn't it?</p><p>If this was true, then why did his heart hurt every day he went home without Greg, as if someone was breaking it in half?</p><hr/><p>After their first time hanging out together at the gym, things were awkward, to say the least. Greg wanted nothing more than to touch Nick's sweat soaked body, to be the one who brought him a towel and helped him dry off after his shower. But they were in a public place, never mind the most homophobic gym in the city.</p><p>Even after Nick worked out, they never went back to Greg's place. Instead, he went home alone, wondering why things between them had to be the way they were and why he hadn't said something to his long time crush before he'd gotten married.</p><p>A few months passed, and while the two never saw each other outside of work aside from the gym once a week, Nick never left Greg's radar. He started to notice some things he hadn't seen before.</p><p>When the CSI entered the lab at midnight, a slight emotional change came over him. His facial expression always relaxed somewhat, telling Greg he was glad to be at work and that whatever he'd left behind was more unpleasant than his next case might be. But the closer the clock ticked toward eight in the morning, the more worried he looked and the more tense his body became.</p><p>The mornings Greg joined him at the gym, he watched Nick let his mind slip into another head space where nothing seemed to interfere with his concentration. It was there he could be at peace with whatever was going on, at least for a little while.</p><p>Something was wrong. But what?</p><hr/><p>Greg pulled the test results from the GCMS for Sara's case and looked them over. When he glanced out into the hallway he saw Nick watching him, the reflection in his eyes one of pure loneliness. It wasn't the first time Greg had seen that look aimed at him recently. But it was the first time Nick had seen him noticing. He was quick to turn away and shuffle back down the hall, head hanging from his shoulders.</p><p>By the end of shift Nick's energy level had bottomed out. He looked dreary, dark circles that seemed to constantly ring his eyes these days grew even darker, and his smile disappeared as if it would never come back. To their friends, he chalked it up to the double shift he'd pulled. But Greg saw right through his lies, the way his eyes shifted to the side when he spoke and the way he'd been watching Greg earlier.</p><p>"Nick, are you and the family coming to the Christmas party this year?"</p><p>"Planning early Cath?"</p><p>"I know we haven't had Thanksgiving yet, but we have to plan early, if we all want the time off."</p><p>"Well, I can't." Nick put his water bottle in the refrigerator, not bothering to offer up an excuse.</p><p>Nick was lucky no one asked for one. Greg wondered what he would have said if they did. Last year they'd gone through the same thing and everyone had been just as deaf to his words. One of these days someone was going to catch on, someone who wasn't quiet about their possible concerns.</p><p>One by one everyone left the breakroom until only Greg and Nick were left.</p><p>"Going to the gym this morning?"</p><p>Nick nodded. "Yeah."</p><p>"I'll come with."</p><p>He neglected to tell Nick he never felt entirely comfortable hanging out with the tough cops. He wanted to be with Nick more, but he wasn't sure it would be wise to ask him over to his apartment unless Nick made the first move. He didn't want to put him in an uncomfortable situation.</p><hr/><p>When they got to the gym, Nick went to go change while Greg found a bench and sat down to wait.</p><p>"You got a heart condition?"</p><p>He raised his head to see a well muscled cop towering over him.</p><p>"Um... no?"</p><p>"No? You mean you don't know?" Two of his buddies put down the weights they'd been lifting and joined him, surrounding Greg. Blonde, tall, and menacing described one. The other had grey hair, clipped short in a military style. His face was stern, his arms crossed over his chest. He meant business and could have been their superior officer.</p><p>"No. I don't. What does it matter to you?" He tried not to let his fear show. What did they want with him? They were cops. What did that mean if they were trying to bully him?</p><p>"We never see you work out. What are you doing here?"</p><p>"What? I... don't understand."</p><p>"You don't belong here."</p><p>"I work for the crime lab. Is... is that a problem?" He clasped his hands together in his lap and prayed they wouldn't start to tremble.</p><p>"You're just a civilian. What do you do to help the world?"</p><p>"I run the DNA samples."</p><p>Someone snorted in laughter.</p><p>"A long time ago we didn't need soft people like you because the world didn't know anything about DNA," the superior officer lectured. "We solved a lot of cases that way. Now the world thinks we need some sort of a DNA sample in order to convict someone every time we go to court. It's called the CSI effect. Maybe you've heard of it? The thing is, we can still get a good conviction without some dumb DNA sample. Now you think about that before I kick your scrawny ass just for being here."</p><p>Greg nodded and they left him alone, returning to the other side of the room just as Nick came back from the locker room.</p><p>Relief flooded his veins.</p><p>"You ok?" Nick asked.</p><p>"Yeah. Fine. Come on, time to warm up."</p><p>"Thanks... for the company. I... I really appreciate it." Nick mumbled so low Greg had a hard time hearing him.</p><p>"Hey, it's what I'm here for."</p><p>As Nick got to work with Greg keeping him on track, the three cops went to shower and then left the building.</p><p>Greg worked hard to forget what they'd said to him. It didn't mean anything, really. They were just trying to intimidate him. He turned back to Nick as he began his jog on the treadmill, slowly slipping into the middle distance in front of him, his mind going blank. He looked relaxed, comfortable, almost happy. Almost. Behind the calm exterior, Greg knew a storm was brewing. He could see it plain as day, even if Nick didn't realize it was happening.</p><p>While Nick jogged, he had time to reflect on their relationship. He knew he'd been hard on the other man. Until now, he hadn't thought about what Nick was going through. He had a family to take care of. A beautiful little girl. It couldn't be easy with a wife and daughter.</p><p>So, what had happened to make Nick turn to him instead of Kristy?</p><p>While he was still healing from the explosion, Nick had spent more time at his apartment than he needed to, even once Greg was well enough to take care of things by himself. Not to mention the several times they'd had sex. He'd never thought of Nick as the cheating type and theirs was not the intercourse of an open relationship. If it was, Nick would have said something and he wouldn't have run away every time.</p><p>He was avoiding something at home. That was clear now.</p><p>Greg mentally hit himself in the head. He'd just blamed their coworkers for being deaf to Nick's excuses when he'd been missing something important himself. How could he have been so stupid and self-centered?</p><p>It was obvious Nick wasn't going to talk to anyone about his problems unless someone forced him too. Greg was the only one who'd noticed anything. He would have to be the one to talk to him, to find out what was wrong, and somehow try to help him ease his troubled mind.</p><p>Out of the corner of his eye he saw another group of cops walk in, a few of them still in uniform after a long shift. They glanced his way, their expressions none too pleasant, telling him once again, he didn't belong there, that he wasn't welcome.</p><p>Maybe next time he would come with his own sweats and start his own exercise regimen so they couldn't give him odd looks anymore. That way he and Nick could have something more in common outside work, other than him acting as Nick's fake running coach, which might be a good thing if it meant they could hang out more often.</p><p>On the other hand, police officers knew the law and knew how to stay out of trouble while doing their dirty deeds, when they weren't saving the world. Maybe he was too geeky for them, too civilian, or maybe it was because he was gay. Maybe they'd figured it out. But for sure they wouldn't get in trouble for anything they ever said to him.</p><p>Nick's hard breathing caught his attention and he turned away from the cops to check the mile logger.</p><p>"Come on, Nick. One more mile. You can do it."</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CSI: Sanctuary: Chapter 6</p><p>"Hey G," Nick greeted, voice dull, shoulders slumped as if the end of the world was near and there was nothing he could do to save anyone or anything.</p><p>"Hey." Greg looked up from the bag he was packing full of dirty laundry from his locker to see Nick in the doorway. "You coming in to change, or what?"</p><p>Nick only shook his head. Finally, he moved into the room, letting the door shut behind him with a loud snap. He sat down on the bench but didn't open his locker, choosing to stare at the floor instead.</p><p>"You ok?" Greg had wanted to ask him this many times, but since Nick never talked much about his problems, he doubted he should. He often wondered if anyone else had bothered to ask the question. Were they truly as blind as he thought, or were they just as unsure about asking as he was?</p><p>"Do you... do you still have..." Nick fumbled over his words, and it hurt Greg to see him this way. This wasn't the Nick he knew. This wasn't who Nick was supposed to be. "You know... the one with Johnny Depp?"</p><p>"<em>Pirates of the Carribean</em>? Sure, of course I still have it." When Nick didn't say anything else he prompted, "You want to come over and watch it? We can order pizza and beer."</p><p>Nick looked up at him, sadness filling his eyes. "Yeah, I'd like that." His voice was quiet.</p><p>"Hey Nick!" Warrick pushed into the room. "It's been awhile since we've really gotten a chance to talk man. How're Kristy and Cara doing?"</p><p>"Oh, they're doing ok." Nick's lackluster response caught Greg's attention, but obviously not Warrick's, as the other man pulled open his locker and proceeded to rummage through it.</p><p>"Oh, Nick, I'm glad I caught you!" Catherine breezed in. "Remind me again when that beautiful little girl's birthday is. I want to make sure I don't forget."</p><p>"Don't worry Cath, you've got a few months. It's in May."</p><p>"Oh good!"</p><p>"I'm outta here. See you guys tonight," Greg said.</p><p>Both Warrick and Catherine nodded their goodbyes and he heard Nick mention something about having to get home to his family before the two met in the parking lot.</p><p>"You want to follow me home?" Greg asked.</p><p>Nick nodded.</p><p>"What do you want on your pizza? I'll call in the order before we leave. Beer's already in the fridge."</p><p>Nick told him what he wanted and they parted ways.</p><hr/><p>They arrived at Greg's apartment complex with the pizza delivery guy right on their tail, making their lives that much easier.</p><p>Headed up the stairs Nick said, "I hate Healthy Choice dinners."</p><p>Greg paused, mid-step, and looked behind him at Nick. But he'd shut his mouth the moment he opened it and was staring at his feet. Filing that little tidbit of information away as part of a much larger problem he was preparing to face with Nick sometime soon, he turned and continued up the stairs to his third floor apartment.</p><p>Grabbing two beers from the refrigerator, Greg returned to the livingroom where Nick sat on the couch with the pizza. He chose a seat from which he could easily see Nick, and handed him his beer.</p><p>"You want to tell me what's wrong?" Greg hadn't even bothered to get the movie out. Nick looked at him, his eyes wide in surprise.</p><p>"Hey, maybe our coworkers are blind, but I can read you like an open book. You haven't been yourself in a long time."</p><p>Nick set his pizza back on the paper plate, eyes sliding to the floor, away from Greg. He wrung his hands together. Shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it." There was a tremble in his voice and he hunched his shoulders inward, as if he was protecting himself from the outside world.</p><p>If Greg had to pick one word to describe him in that moment, terrified would have been it.</p><p>From his days as a police officer, Nick still had a cop's mentality: Don't show faults. Don't show emotions. Look perfect to the world. Hide everything from everyone. Greg was lucky Nick felt comfortable enough with him to let the truth show even just a little.</p><p>Not wanting himself included in Nick's outside world, he moved to sit beside him, took his right hand and began rubbing little circles into the back of it.</p><p>"You helped me so much last year. When I couldn't do anything for myself, you were there for me. I need to be able to return the favor. Now tell me what's wrong."</p><p>"Nothing you can fix."</p><p>"How do you know if you won't tell me?"</p><p>"I'm living a lie Greg."</p><p>"Hey," he spoke softly. "I never forced you into anything. And it's been five months since... I thought you'd made a decision."</p><p>"No it's... it's..." Nick paused to swallow a lump in his throat, Adams apple bobbing hard. "Kristy and I. We don't talk much. We don't even sleep together anymore."</p><p>"Sounds like something you need to talk to her about."</p><p>"But I don't want to."</p><p>"Nick, you have to if you want things to work out between you." Greg couldn't believe he was giving marital advice to the man he'd slept with. To the man he'd sleep with again in a split second if he could. His stomach twisted at the thought, his heartbeat going a mile a minute.</p><p>"I'm not sure I do."</p><p>Greg blinked. What?</p><p>"Ever since..." Nick stumbled over his words. "Ever since we..."</p><p>But Greg knew what he meant. "What about Cara?"</p><p>"I don't want to ruin her life."</p><p>Seeing the hurt and the sadness filling Nick's eyes, Greg turned his chin, leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "Then don't." He was surprised at his own actions. He didn't want to be responsible for breaking a family apart, no matter how much his heart and other parts of his body yearned for Nick. "I just want to see you happy. I know you're the best dad in the entire world, but you need to be happy for your daughter and if no one else is going to do that for you... I'd like that chance." Even as he said it, Greg knew he was telling the truth. He could be happy, as long as Nick was and as long as lives weren't ruined in the process.</p><p>"You mean you don't hate me for..."</p><p>Greg silenced him by putting a finger to his lips. "You don't hate me for my back. Do you?"</p><p>"No." Nick didn't even have to think about it.</p><p>"Then there you go."</p><p>Nick's stomach rumbled just then and Greg nudged him to finish his pizza.</p><p>"Ultimately, though, it's your choice," Greg said later, as he carried their garbage to the can in the kitchen.</p><p>Nick followed him with the two empty beer bottles. Greg stopped him, a hand to his chest, as he took the bottles with his free hand and blindly set them on the counter. Stepping close to the other man he pressed their lips together in a warm, sensuous kiss. Nick melted into him, relaxing almost instantly.</p><p>He pushed Nick backward in the direction of his bedroom, and succeeded in getting him there without untangling their limbs, separating their lips, or doing any damage to either of them. A shirt disappeared and then another. He didn't want to waste time. The button popped on Nick's jeans, the zipper flew down its teeth, and Greg's hand slipped inside.</p><p>He felt the shiver run up Nick's spine, the moment he came in contact with the semi-hard cock, then swallowed the groan of pleasure into his own mouth. Their lips parted and his found the sensitive spot just behind Nick's ear. He sucked the skin hard into his mouth before releasing it and soothed the sting with his tongue.</p><p>"Don't... stop... Don't stop," Nick mumbled.</p><p>"Won't." Greg moved his hand with expert precision and Nick hardened with record speed at his touch. "Fall back," Greg instructed.</p><p>Nick's body tensed.</p><p>"Trust me." Running a hand up and down his biceps, he pushed his legs into Nick's, letting him feel the bed right behind him. His other hand squeezed, hard. "I want you comfortable."</p><p>Seeing the determination on Nick's face from the corner of his eye, while he nibbled and licked at his earlobe, he felt strong arms wrap around his waist. Muscles relaxed and Nick let himself fall back onto the bed with Greg falling on top of him.</p><p>"Mmm, that's much better."</p><p>Nick worked on his pants, shoving them down and off. Hands cradled his back, ran over his skin, or what was left of it. He froze as Nick's fingers brushed over the knots of sensitive skin. And before he knew it, he'd been flipped over onto his stomach.</p><p>Greg squealed in surprise, praying he didn't sound like a girl, "Nick!"</p><p>The response he got was a gentle kiss on his back. His right shoulder blade, to be exact, where the scars were the worst.</p><p>"Hmm... What?" Nick asked, sounding preoccupied with something as his lips found another scar.</p><p>Greg tried to speak, tried to ask Nick what he was doing, but the words refused to come out. At his last doctor's visit, he'd made the doctor show him what his back looked like. He'd stood with his back to a full length mirror and with the use of a handheld mirror, he saw exactly what the explosion had done to him that couldn't be healed: All of the torn and mangled skin looked like someone had ripped it to shreds and knotted it back together again. His back made him look like a monster, like something from Victor Frankenstein's lair.</p><p>Through all his doubts and fears Nick's lips touched against another ugly knot of skin. Greg's eyes burned and watered, tears running to bleed into the pillow beneath his head. Fucking girl. Monster.</p><p>Wet lips moved against the back of his left leg and then his right. Nick's hands smoothed up the sides of his torso and turned him over. He began the kisses again, finding the little spots that couldn't be seen unless you were as close to them as he was. When he reached the top of Greg's chest he stopped, leaning over him so he could look into his watery eyes.</p><p>"I'm sorry, G. I don't want to have sex with you tonight."</p><p>Greg stared up at him, eyes blinking rapidly. Had he heard...? Monster. He'd been right. He was nothing but a monster.</p><p>"Don't go!" He began to panic. He didn't want to scare Nick away from him, not when he was working so hard to make Nick happy.</p><p>Nick cocked his head to the side. "Have you ever slept with someone without having sex first?"</p><p>"No." Why would anyone...</p><p>"Do you think you would ever like to?"</p><p>Greg thought about what Nick was possibly offering and realized he didn't have to think about it.</p><p>"Yes," his voice trembled. "Yes. I would like that very much."</p><p>Nick brought his mouth down until their lips came together in another sensual kiss. "Good." He lay down beside him and nudged him into a spooning position, reaching over him to turn off the bedside lamp. In the darkness Nick held him close, his chest pressed against Greg's mangled back.</p><p>It felt weird to be held without sex as an intent, even though things had started out that way. And yet it was nice to be needed for something beyond a quick lay in some dirty motel room.</p><p>A kiss landed on his shoulder. "You're not a freak... or a monster," Nick whispered.</p><p>Eventually Greg fell asleep with Nick's words softly ringing in his head.</p><hr/><p>The bed was cold. Greg shifted to get closer to Nick's warm body, but each time he moved he couldn't seem to find the heat. Tired of his blind search he opened his eyes to see the bright sunlight creeping in around the edges of his blackout curtains.</p><p>The other side of the bed was empty. Nick was gone. Greg's body stilled as he thought about that for a moment. That morning, Nick didn't seem like he wanted to split before they woke up together. He had to remind himself this was new territory for Nick. And he'd have to take things slow for him. Maybe he hadn't been able to sleep and had gotten squeamish about what he was doing.</p><p><em>"You're not a freak... or a monster."</em> Nick hadn't sounded squeamish.</p><p>Tears built in his eyes at the memory of each sweet kiss Nick had bestowed on him. It was obvious the other man cared enough about him. Unless his line about not wanting sex was a ploy to get out of a bad situation with the freak. Had he slipped out again? Would he ever come back?</p><p>Greg wiped at his eyes. Just incase he was wrong and Nick had only gotten up to go to the bathroom, he slid out from under the covers, put on a pair of boxers, and tiptoed down the hall in his bare feet. The bathroom was dark and empty. From the doorway of the livingroom he could just barely make out the shape of a broad shouldered man sitting in a chair in the equally dark kitchen.</p><p>He moved closer. "Nick?"</p><p>The man jumped.</p><p>"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."</p><p>The fear in his heart eased up some.</p><p>"No, it's ok," Nick mumbled, sounding tired.</p><p>"I just wanted to make sure you were ok. Yeah?" Greg rested a hand on Nick's shoulder.</p><p>"I'm fine."</p><p>"Alright. I take it you like the dark?"</p><p>"I guess."</p><p>"Well, I'm going back to bed then, but if you need me for anything, you come get me. I'll stay now, if you want me to. But, if you don't, then come back when you're ready."</p><p>Greg turned back to the livingroom and paused, his hand still resting on Nick's shoulder. When he saw the other man nod, he gave the shoulder a squeeze and headed back to bed, satisfied that Nick hadn't abandoned all hope yet.</p><hr/><p>Nick rolled over in bed, enjoying the soft feel of the sheets against his skin and the hand gliding over his arm. Mumbling something unintelligent, even to himself, he opened his eyes to see Greg laying beside him, a sleepy smile on his face.</p><p>"I'm glad you came back."</p><p>"Mmmm." He relaxed. He could get used to this.</p><p>"Sleep well?"</p><p>He thought about it, and yeah, he had. He felt more rested than he ever had before and he told Greg just as much</p><p>"Good. I'm glad."</p><p>He raised his hand to caress Greg's cheek, but it felt weird, even though he was sure he'd done it before. His hand paused in the air and Greg raised his own. Their hands met, fingers intertwining naturally, as if Greg understood his hesitation.</p><p>"Thank you for not making me feel useless," Nick whispered.</p><p>"When do you feel useless?" Greg leaned on an elbow, his interest piqued at what he'd said.</p><p>Why did he have to open his big mouth? He looked away, staring at the dresser across the room. "I don't want to talk about it."</p><p>"Then why'd you say it?"</p><p>"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It just kinda came out."</p><p>"Nick... those sort of things don't just kinda come out. You said it because you needed to."</p><p>"No. I..."</p><p>"Look, I care about you. I really do. And I'd like to be the person you feel you can trust with anything, no matter what."</p><p>Why couldn't this be his life with his wife and daughter? Everything felt perfect right where he was.</p><p>When he didn't say anything, Greg soldiered on. "It's Kristy, isn't it?"</p><p>"No… can we not…"</p><p>"Talk to me, Nick. You'll feel better if you do."</p><p>He still didn't say anything, wondering how he was supposed to say what Greg wanted him to.</p><p>"When you come into work, you look tense and troubled. But the moment you walk through the door you become extra relaxed, at least until the end of shift. You want to tell me about it?"</p><p>Greg really could read him like an open book. Why couldn't Kristy? She was his wife, after all. Maybe if she could, she wouldn't be such a bitch and maybe she'd understand where he came from more often when they argued. Maybe they wouldn't argue so much either.</p><p>"I understand work," he said. "I get along with everyone. No one ridicules me because I work hard and get cases solved. I know what I'm doing. I have a purpose."</p><p>"What do you mean? You don't know what to do at home?"</p><p>"Apparently. Kristy seems to think so."</p><p>"You leave the toilet seat up, don't you."</p><p>"No! I got all that down. It's other things."</p><p>"Other things like what?"</p><p>"Everything. Do we have to talk about this?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Look. It doesn't matter what it is I do or don't do. That's all I'm gonna say on the matter."</p><p>"Ok. Alright. But Nick?" Greg looked at him with huge puppy eyes.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"You do know you can come to me with anything you need to talk about, right?" Greg squeezed his hand.</p><p>"Yeah, I know… and thanks. Really. I appreciate it."</p><p>"You're welcome. Now, tell me something else."</p><p>"Greg…"</p><p>"Are you happy here?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Greg repeated his question. "If I were to kiss you right now, what would you do?"</p><p>"Kiss you back?"</p><p>"But would you want to?"</p><p>Nick swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat at the mere thought of kissing Greg. His voice sounded strangled when he answered with a "yes."</p><hr/><p>Curled up in bed with his ereader while the shower ran in the other room, Greg's attention kept wandering to the man who'd shared his bed for most of the night. Nick was certainly good at making out. The kissing had been more than superb. The further they'd gone, the lighter the mood had been, and the happier Nick seemed. Even when he determined it was time to hit the shower and head home, he'd seemed loath to leave the warmth and comfort of the bed and Greg, forcing himself out from under the covers while their lips were still locked together.</p><p>A fire brewed in the pit of Greg's stomach, just remembering their last kiss and the needy moan Nick had left him with as he parted for the shower. Hot lips, swollen, hard, yet gentle at the same time, beautiful, sexy... everything he'd ever wanted...</p><p>"You have an ereader?"</p><p>Greg looked up to see Nick standing before him, skin glistening wet with nothing covering him except a white towel slung low over his hips. He whistled his appreciation, loving the cute blush that crept over Nick's face.</p><p>"So? What are you reading?"</p><p>"<em>Like Coffee and Doughnuts</em>," he said. "By Elle Parker." Greg flipped to the cover of the book and showed it to Nick. It was a sexy cover with palm trees, ocean water, and two men making out in near silhouette.</p><p>"Is that...?"</p><p>"Yes, Nick. It is." He let a little smirk cross his features.</p><p>"I didn't know they made books about..."</p><p>"Gay romance? Of course they do."</p><p>Nick sat down on the edge of the bed. "Is it any good?"</p><p>"I'm almost finished with this one and I haven't been able to put it down, until you walked in and distracted me, that is. I've got a whole collection of romance novels on here."</p><p>"I just never imagined you for the romance type."</p><p>"The sex is hot." Greg grinned. "And besides, a lot of these are good cop stories. Lots of action and drama. And not the girly drama either. No one cries over a chipped nail. It's all manly." He let his head fall back against the headboard and stared up at the ceiling for a moment. "God... just imagine... two hot guys wearing suits, or a uniform. Even a tux... damn... too sexy."</p><p>Nick stood up and moved about the room to collect his clothes from that morning's partial romp. He threw them on the bed before turning his back to Greg and taking the towel off to get dressed. Greg sighed inwardly. Nick was a hot guy and they'd certainly seen enough of each other naked, but he decided it was best to let it go.</p><p>"I'm surprised you would find anything too sexy," Nick said, pulling his pants up over his hips, tucking in his shirt, and zipping up. "Isn't that all you think about?"</p><p>If his ereader had been a paperback Greg would have chucked it at him. "No." He meant to sound angry, in a way that would let Nick know he really wasn't. Instead, it came out softer, truer to the truth than he'd meant. "Last night was... nice."</p><p>Nick turned to face him. "I agree," he said after studying Greg for awhile, his voice just as soft and meaningful.</p><p>Greg eyed him in his tight black t-shirt and jeans, drooling over his biceps which, while not huge by any means, still threatened to tear the arms of the shirt. "You didn't have to get dressed, you know."</p><p>"Yes, I did." Nick sat down next to him. "If I go back to work dressed like I was last night someone will notice eventually."</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about, Stokes. Why, I've never seen that shirt before at all!"</p><p>"You're just being sarcastic."</p><p>"Eh, maybe I am. So what?"</p><p>Nick leaned in close. "I like you sarcastic sometimes." He pressed their lips together for a chaste kiss and when he pulled away, their eyes locked. "Thank you. I really enjoyed the day."</p><p>Greg reached up to let his fingers slide over the skin of Nick's face. "I'm glad you did. So did I."</p><p>A few minutes later and Nick was gone. Greg's small apartment already felt empty without him. He lay in bed for awhile afterward, savoring the chaste kiss they'd shared. It was nothing special, just a simple kiss. One that hadn't lead to wild, passionate sex, but he had to admit that it had felt nice. No pressure. When had he ever been with a guy like that? Someone who wanted more than a one night stand? It hadn't seemed possible until now.</p><p>Greg forced himself to remember the reality of the situation: Nick had a family to go home to and as much as he wanted to make him happy twenty-four/seven, he couldn't take Nick away from them. He would just have to learn to care for him and let him go when he needed to.</p><hr/><p>Nick couldn't help but worry on his way home: Had he done the right thing? How would Greg react?</p><p>It had been a stupid move and he knew it. Greg would hate him, might out him to the lab, though he wanted to think Greg wouldn't, because he seemed to genuinely care. And if he cared enough Nick hoped he would look after Cara if the need ever arose.</p><hr/><p>Struggling out of bed, Greg headed to the kitchen to make his first cup of coffee for the night. Once the coffee maker was beginning to gurgle away, he turned to the refrigerator for something to eat.</p><p>That's when he saw it. Nick had taken one of the PostIt notes from beside his phone, scribbled something on it, and stuck it to his fridge, with a magnet on top for added security. Greg moved closer to scrutinize it better. Shocked, he saw it was the phone number for Cara's daycare, along with the address, and the schedule of which parent was picking her up on which days.</p><p>Seeing it there was unsettling and a little scary. Nick wasn't the entirely trusting type, and yet, here he was trusting him with the most important part of his life. Greg backed up until his legs hit the chair behind him and he fell into it. This was Nick's way of telling him he was needed. What he couldn't say out loud, he could at least put in writing.</p><p>A/N: Like Coffee and Doughnuts was written by Elle Parker. Right now it's only out in ebook form, but if you go to her website at .com you can buy it in PDF form for your laptop if you don't have a Kindle. It's the story of a Private Investigator and his auto mechanic best friend who get stuck on a case together and of course end up falling madly in love with each other, while being chased by bad guys who want them dead. And no, it wasn't out when this chapter takes place, but who cares. I'm sure Greg would love it.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You look like you could use some help, sir."</p><p>Greg looked up at the young woman and figured she must have thought he was crazy with books scattered on the floor surrounding him and confusion written on his face for the world to see. This was the first day he hadn't intentionally spiked his hair, though he was sure it had probably gotten there on it's own, just from his current insanity.</p><p>"Um..." He looked around the small bookstore at all the packed shelves, wondering where he should start.</p><p>"I assumed you were looking for a specific recipe, since you're in the cooking section."</p><p>"Oh, right, well, I... I don't know..." He was lost, a dive bomber about to crash into the face of the earth, with the bomb still attached, at the rate he was going.</p><p>"Ok, why don't you tell me what you're looking for. Is there a specific type of dish you want to make?" She smiled, her teeth white and perfect. But not too perfect. It was a nice smile.</p><p>Unsure what she meant, he was unsure how to respond.</p><p>"What I mean is, are you looking for say..." she paused, her eyes tilted to the ceiling as she thought for a moment. "Something from New England? You know, New England clam chowder? Or Maine lobster? Or were you looking for a book only on soups and salads? Entrees? Or something a little more southern maybe?"</p><p>"Southern!" he jumped on that, glad to be getting somewhere, finally. "That would be good... but... I'm not... I don't know how..."</p><p>"Here." Flicking her long brown ponytail over her shoulder, she pulled a book from a nearby shelf he'd completely ignored. "This covers all the basics of cooking. There's a glossary in the back for terms you may not be familiar with, and there are over a hundred recipes in it, from appetizers and soups, to entrees, breads, desserts, everything you could possibly want to cook." Then she pulled off another book from the shelf and handed it to him. "If you're lookin' for some good southern cookin', try this once you've mastered the other. This is my favorite recipe book. It includes everything a good Texan loves to eat." This time, Greg heard her thick southern accent clear as a bell. "Unless, of course, you're lookin' for a different kind of southern. Louisiana, perhaps?"</p><p>Oh, she was a winner, all right.</p><p>"No, no, Texas is just fine. Thank you! You're a life saver!" He stopped short of hugging her and taking her home to teach him what he needed to know. Just barely.</p><p>"She must be worth it for all this effort," she said, giving him a big smile again accompanied by a wink.</p><p>He grinned back, and nodded, clutching the books to his chest as he made his way to the checkout. "Oh, you'd better believe it!"</p><hr/><p>Sitting in his car, he'd gone through the beginner cook book first until he'd found a recipe that seemed somewhat easy enough. He didn't have half the things the recipe mentioned. He'd have to get a ton of spices. Maybe getting a whole spice rack would be a good idea. And what the hell was a meat tenderizer anyway? There was a kitchen store just up the street. He would stop there after he ran into the grocery store.</p><p>Not having pen and paper handy, he brought the book into the store with him and set it, open, in the baby seat of the shopping cart. Looking at the huge store in front of him with it's many isles, he groaned. All he knew were the pasta and frozen food sections. But with his intentions, he was about to learn the rest of the grocery store. He set off, determined not to fail this mission. Walking down each isle, slowly, carefully, he looked for each item he needed, and made note in his mind, where other items were kept.</p><p>Paying attention more to the shelves and what they held than to the people walking around him, he was startled when another cart rammed front first into his. He looked up, an apology already on his lips when he saw who it was he'd bumped into.</p><p>The words died in his throat and all he could do was stare, as she blinked at him. Her long brown hair was gently curled, her face all done up in perfect makeup, and her nails were long and painted pink. He figured she probably had them done at the salon every day while she was on her lunch break from playing secretary at the same location.</p><p>"Well, hello there, Gregory." Already she was giving him the creeps, as she looked him over with her cheerleader critical eye. She saw the open book and her eyes squinted extra hard to read it. A look of disgust flitted across her features.</p><p>"Hey, Kristy." He gave a short laugh, that sounded both nervous and forced. "Fancy meeting you here."</p><p>"So it is. And how are you doing? I heard you were involved in that explosion?"</p><p>Wow. She certainly didn't beat around the bush.</p><p>"Doing much better, thanks." He wouldn't mention Nick's helping him out. The polite part of any similar conversation would have him thanking Nick for all his hard work too. But since he was cooking for Nick, and he'd slept with the man on more than one occasion, he doubted it would be a good idea to bring up her husband.</p><p>"Well, I'm glad to hear it," she said, her tone false all the way through. She checked her watch. "Oh, I should get going. I have to pick up Cara from daycare soon, and I've got to feed Nick before he rushes off to work tonight." She sighed like there was too many chores that needed to be done before the end of the world struck.</p><p>Greg gave a polite smile and said goodbye. Catching a glance into her cart as she headed for the checkout lanes, he worried more and more about Nick's health, and his daughter's. Healthy Choice meals filled the bottom of her cart along with a few from Weight Watchers, and some frozen vegetables. Nothing else.</p><hr/><p><em>"I hate Healthy Choice dinners,"</em> Nick's voice rang in his head.</p><p>Looking her over, she was as skinny as a piece of paper. Always had been. So who was getting the Weight Watchers? If she really couldn't cook, the least she could do was get her poor husband some Hungry Man dinners. What she'd just bought wouldn't fill even a quarter of his stomach. Greg shook his head, wondering how Nick had lived with her for so long already without going crazy. In his own cart, he was relieved to find all of Nick's favorites.</p><p>Continuing his shopping, he knew all she'd seen was a stupid geek when she'd looked him over. But at least where she'd failed without a single attempt, he was trying. And trying extra hard at that.</p><p>Finding himself in the isle with the spices, he couldn't believe how many there were, and how many brands made the same thing. He looked back and forth between his book and the spices on the shelf, wondering how he was going to find all the right ones.</p><p>Deciding it would be too difficult, he started grabbing spices made by the most prevalent company present. He started with the first one on the shelf and picked one of each. Oh, Nick would love this when he got home. His kitchen would look like the grocery store had exploded in it. However, he figured this way, he would be sure to have the spices he needed on hand for future use. That couldn't be a bad thing, could it? Nick would just stand there and laugh at him. Greg pictured Nick standing in his kitchen, eyes wide at all the groceries, and he had to admit, he rather liked the thought. He hadn't seen Nick laugh in a long time.</p><p>He sighed, as he pulled the last spice off the shelf. It would be even better if he and Nick weren't confined to his tiny apartment when they wanted to be together, but he also knew they couldn't leave for a variety of reasons. One of whom was just leaving the grocery store now with one bag of groceries to feed an entire family for a week. The other was at work twenty-four/seven, and consisted of several hundred people, all smartly dressed in uniform, patrolling the streets of Las Vegas. If any of their coworkers found out he and Nick were sleeping together, whether they directly worked with them or not, they could face serious trouble. There were too many homophobic cops in their city, never mind the whole world. He didn't want Nick to lose his job, his family, or his life over another man's desire to make him happy.</p><hr/><p>Nick arrived at Greg's apartment to the wonderful, mouth-watering smell of real food. Greg met him at the door, wearing a red apron covered in some sort of spicy sauce.</p><p>"G? What the hell's going on in here?"</p><p>Once the door was firmly shut and locked behind him, Greg pulled him in for a quick kiss. "I'm cooking," he said.</p><p>"I can see that. Are you sure there's going to be enough left over once you're done?" When Greg gave him a confused look he explained, "It looks like you're wearing most of it." He couldn't help but chuckle as he said it.</p><p>Greg stuck his lower lip out in a pout which only made Nick laugh harder until he'd turned and left the room.</p><p>Following Greg into the kitchen, the first thing he noticed was the PostIt note on the refrigerator. It was the first thing he always noticed upon entering the room these days, even when he was sleep deprived, or when Greg was doing his best to distract him. Three more magnets had been added to it, one for each corner, ensuring it wouldn't go anywhere. He'd done the right thing and it made him feel good to know that.</p><p>He then looked around him at the multitude of empty plastic grocery bags swirling all over the floor. Food overflowed the counter and the table. Some of it was still in the bags Greg had brought it home in. Nick shook his head at the crazy mess. That was Greg.</p><p>"What is all this? You were actually telling the truth?"</p><p>"I was," Greg said, turning to smile at Nick, making his stomach do a little flip-floping dance. Then he turned back to the meat in the pan on the counter and started to shake something over it. A spice perhaps? "I figured I really needed to start eating better than just take out every night, you know?" He put the meat in the oven and set the timer.</p><p>Wow. Shocked, didn't begin to describe how he felt just then. The moment he'd said 'I do' to his wife, she told him she couldn't cook. She'd never even tried, that he knew of, and yet she refused to let him do anything in the kitchen. And here was Greg, a sauce splattered cookbook in one hand, a mixing spoon in the other, working on stirring whatever was in the large pot on the stove. It was obvious Greg was trying very hard. No one had ever gone this far for him before.</p><p>Greg set the book down, took the spoon out of the pot, turned down the burner, and set a lid on it. When he turned back to Nick, there was a glint in his brown eyes. He walked over to the spot where Nick had stopped upon seeing the mess. "And, yes, I figured you could do better in the food department too."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>"You're so very welcome." Greg grinned as he leaned forward for another kiss, careful not to get his food covered apron anywhere near Nick's clean clothes.</p><p>Nick hadn't seen Greg, alone, in several days. Several days too long. He brought him in closer, teasing his mouth open with his tongue. The other man groaned when he licked the roof of his mouth, tasting a wide array of foods Greg must have taste-tested earlier. Was that spaghetti sauce? Oh God... tasting food right out of his mouth was hotter than he ever could have imagined. Damn...</p><p>"Hold the reigns there cowboy, I don't want to burn the steak."</p><p>"I don't care what you do to it. It's better than anything I've eaten in the last..." he trailed off. "It's been a long time."</p><p>"Since my cooking skills suck, I guess that means I can't botch it up." Greg gave him another quick kiss. "Why don't you go set the table while I finish the cooking."</p><p>"I'll have to clean it off first. Are you sure you don't want to eat in the livingroom like we usually do?"</p><p>"No, I want to have a real dinner with you."</p><p>Nick nodded. Wow. Would the shock ever wear off?</p><p>"Do you care where I put this stuff?"</p><p>"Anywhere you can find room."</p><p>As he began putting the rest of the food away, Nick was reminded of the letter he'd received at work. He might not have gotten the promotion, but even if he had, the way things had turned out with Greg he would have had to turn it down anyway. Either that, or he'd have to let Greg go, and he wasn't sure he would be capable of giving up the sweet meat he'd already tasted, without starving to death.</p><p>"Nick?"</p><p>He jumped at Greg's voice.</p><p>"You've been staring off into space holding that same can of green beans for almost five minutes. There should be some room in that cupboard up there." Greg pointed to the space above the refrigerator.</p><p>"Right. Up there. Yeah."</p><p>"You ok?"</p><p>Nick put the can of vegetables away and turned to face Greg. "I've got some good news to share with you."</p><p>Greg's eyes lit up. "You got the promotion?" He sounded just like a kid at Christmas getting his first bicycle.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"No? So, that's not the good news you wanted to share? Or no, you didn't get the key position?"</p><p>Nick sighed, but smiled. "No, I didn't get the position..."</p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry. I know Sara really wanted it. It's all she could talk about. You really deserved it, though. You shouldn't have to kiss up to the boss in order to get promoted."</p><p>"Actually, G, if you'd let me finish..."</p><p>"Sorry." Greg blushed and turned back to something he was cooking on the stove. "What were you going to say?"</p><p>"Sara didn't get the promotion either."</p><p>"She didn't?"</p><p>He dug the letter out of his back pocket, unfolded it, and handed it over to Greg. He watched Greg's eyes scan the document, widening when he got to the important parts. He blinked, neither smiling nor frowning and looked up at Nick. "Is this your good news?" He was confused.</p><p>Nick shook his head, knowing Greg didn't understand. He stepped forward and plucked the letter out of Greg's hands, setting it down on the table. "Yes. It is my good news. I applied for that position before we were this serious together. If we had been serious back then, I wouldn't have applied. Conflict of interest and all."</p><p>"But..."</p><p>Nick took his arms in hand, holding him still so he paid attention. "I never cared about getting the promotion, you know that. But now, you get the opportunity to get the job you really want. I wouldn't want to take that away from you." Nick leaned in and kissed a stunned Greg. "Congratulations, G."</p><p>A smile began to work its way across Greg's face, though he was still too surprised to be able to speak.</p><p>When they sat down to eat just a few minutes later Greg said, "If you hate it, you can tell me."</p><p>"I love it already." Nick looked at his plate with it's odd conglomeration of steak, mashed potatoes, spaghetti, and a few strawberries off to the side.</p><p>"Yeah, right. It looks charred on one side. Maybe we should get take out."</p><p>"Greg..."</p><p>Greg raised his head.</p><p>"Just eat."</p><p>While they did just that, the younger man proceeded to tell him about his shopping experiences. Nick laughed so hard it hurt. God, when was the last time he'd ever laughed so much? His daughter was good at making him laugh. And his wife was real good at killing the mood ten seconds later.</p><p>"Nick?" Greg looked a little concerned.</p><p>"What?" Had he been spacing out while Greg talked again? What had he missed?</p><p>"I saw her today. At the store."</p><p>"Who?"</p><p>"Kristy," he rushed her name as if Nick wouldn't catch it the faster he said it. "I just wanted you to know."</p><p>"Shit." What a way to kill the mood. But Greg wasn't Kristy. He was just concerned.</p><p>A warm hand smoothed over his and held it against the table. "She doesn't know. I promise. I didn't let anything slip. We met, said hi, exchanged stupid pleasantries, and went our separate ways. I promise. Just... incase she says anything, I wanted you to know what happened from me first. I don't want you freaking out or anything."</p><p>Nick could only nod, feeling a little numb inside.</p><p>"I almost got lost," Greg said. "I know where the frozen food isle is, you know, right next to the ice cream. And the pasta isle, and of course the canned soup isle. But spices? And steak? Potatoes? Forget it. Apparently, I have a lot to learn about that place."</p><p>His light remark caught in Nick's brain before it had a chance to slip out the opposite ear. It sank into the tissue and actually made sense. He chuckled, glad Greg was good at reversing a bad conversation quickly.</p><p>"I'd say you have a lot to learn about your own kitchen, never mind the grocery store. It'll take at least a week to clean up the mess you made in here. But really, G, you did good."</p><p>Greg beamed, his cheeks dusting in red.</p><p>"But I can't let you keep doing this."</p><p>His face fell.</p><p>"At least, not without some help." Nick paused to take in the uncertain look he was getting before he forged on. "Some people don't know how to cook, and yet, they still refuse help in the kitchen. It's like they have their own agenda and refuse to listen to anyone else. And then there are other people who claim not to know how to cook, but they're trying really hard, and their cooking isn't nearly as bad as they think it is." Here, Nick stopped to wink at the guy on the other side of the table. "Now, I'm hoping the second type aren't like the first, and maybe they'll want, or accept, a little help in the kitchen if someone's willing to give it."</p><p>"Gee, what a way to beat around the bush. Of course you can help me cook. But tell me, are your cooking skills any better than mine?"</p><p>"Probably not."</p><p>Greg snorted. "Alrighty then. I'll wash. You dry?"</p><p>Nick agreed and they got to work, getting the dishes done in short order. While he was putting them away, he couldn't help but think of their plans for the rest of the night. They never really had any before and tonight wasn't too much different. He assumed there would be some tv watching, whether a movie or video game playing, he wasn't sure, followed by sleep. He hoped there would be sleep before work, because Greg was actually comforting to sleep with, and a joy to wake up to, even when he was grilling Nick about his bad choice in women.</p><p>But when he thought about watching a movie, it seemed almost boring, in comparison to what Greg had done for him already. There had to be a way to return the generous favor, but he wasn't sure how. Unless Greg was expecting some extra attention in bed later. Was he? Had he cooked for him just to get amazing sex in return? As far as Nick knew, Greg wasn't seeing anyone else. While he, himself, hadn't had sex with his wife since Cara had been conceived, technically, he still had someone else in his life with whom he could still be sleeping. Was Greg so lonely he would go this far for company and comfort? He didn't seem like the type. But before they'd gotten together Nick wouldn't have pegged Greg as someone who was really into him, so who was he to judge?</p><p>If that wasn't the case, he needed to do something to repay him. He couldn't bring him flowers. That would look odd to anyone who saw him, and besides Greg was a guy. He probably didn't want flowers. Or chocolate. He couldn't buy him jewelry... well, not something he'd buy a woman. A watch maybe? Or was that too expensive to repay someone for an amazing dinner?</p><p>"Hey you, what's going on? What's so stuck in your thoughts that you can't hear me chattering away about our movie selection?"</p><p>Greg gave his arm a pat and he jolted to attention. He'd finished putting the dishes away and moved into the livingroom, seemingly on autopilot.</p><p>"Sorry. Nothing." Nick looked up and found Greg's eyes watching him, as if he already knew what Nick was thinking about. "I just need to repay you for all this and I..."</p><p>"Nicky," Greg moved to straddle him on the couch, his knees on either side of Nick's thighs while his arms draped over Nick's shoulders. "You don't have to do anything to repay me. The only thing I ever want in return for anything I do for you, is for you to be happy. I just want you happy."</p><p>"That's it?" Nick was sure he'd start crying like a girl any moment if Greg kept this up.</p><p>"That's it."</p><p>Nick's face broke into a little grin, and he started to laugh. "The shock's never going to wear off... never..."</p><p>As Greg's hands ran up his bare arms, goose bumps broke out over his skin at the delicate touch. It didn't take much work on Greg's part to arouse him and he wondered what it would be like having him around all the time.</p><p>"I'm suddenly not feeling like a movie anymore. What about you?"</p><p>Nick shook his head. "I wish there was something else we could do. Don't get me wrong, I love watching movies. I just don't want that to get boring. I actually kinda miss going to the gym with you."</p><p>"But the relay race was only two weeks ago. You miss working out that much?"</p><p>Greg's hands ran through his hair. His fingers felt good. Relaxing.</p><p>"Yeah, I do. It helped to give me a purpose for living. For awhile, anyway. But I know you were uncomfortable with those cops there. I know you started to workout out because of what they said to you."</p><p>"You heard that?"</p><p>"I'm sorry I never said anything at the time. I wanted to. I just... didn't know what to say."</p><p>"There wasn't much you could have done, other than get yourself in trouble with them. It's fine. It's over. I'm not thinking about it and neither should you."</p><p>"Ok."</p><p>Greg had been through a lot after the explosion and it must have hardened him a little, to be able to deflect the things that hurt. If only Nick could have some of that hardness any time he had to deal with his wife, everything would be so much better.</p><p>"So, what were you thinking then?"</p><p>"I was thinking maybe you could be my running buddy and we could go jogging around your neighborhood. No one would suspect anything. We're just friends who like to workout together. It happens every day. Warrick and I used to until I got married."</p><p>"But the next relay isn't for another year, Nick. I'm sorry we lost. I really am. But, do you feel you need a purpose in life that badly?" Greg looked confused and a little hurt.</p><p>"No. No, I don't. It's not about winning. It never was. Besides, I'd rather we lost with every member of our team still intact, than have a man down permanently, if you know what I mean." This time, as Nick raised his hand he let it touch Greg's face, caressing it, holding his lover, thankful nothing had happened to either of them.</p><p>"Yeah. I know."</p><p>"I just want to be able to share something important with you outside of work. I'm tired of being cooped up in here, but I can't stop spending my time with you. Jogging would get us out of here, keep us active. Forget about next year's race. I'm not even planning to sign up."</p><p>"Like we're not active enough as it is." Greg's smile returned, along with a seductive wink.</p><p>Need rushed to fill Nick and he surged forward to press their lips together, curling his hand around the back of Greg's head. When they broke apart, he said, "That's not what I meant."</p><p>"It's not?" Greg's grin widened, turning mischievous.</p><p>"Proper exercise. That's what I'm talking about."</p><p>"I like that idea." Greg licked his lips, his eyes seemingly locked on Nick's mouth.</p><p>"You do?"</p><p>"Have you ever seen yourself after a workout? Hot, sweat drenched, sexy..." This time it was Greg who leaned forward for a deep, probing kiss. "Very sexy." His fingers began to unbutton Nick's shirt and his voice went down to a whisper, "Did I mention sexy?"</p><p>"Mmm, several times. But you can say it again."</p><p>Greg's laugh was low and throaty. "Very, very sexy. I was on fire after every workout. Oh, the number of times I would have jumped you if we weren't in a public setting full of cops."</p><p>"So, was that a yes to jogging with me?"</p><p>"Did you want to start right now?" The words were whispered into his ear with so much seductiveness, a shiver ran up his spine.</p><p>"How about tomorrow?"</p><p>Their lips connected again and Nick's hands reached under Greg's t-shirt to caress his chest, already imagining what he would do to him once his clothes were off...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kristy sneezed just as a coughing fit overtook her. Nick watched her head hit the pillow from the doorway to their bedroom, her hair framing her face like a limp dish rag.</p><p>"What do you want me to do?" he asked.</p><p>"Take her to daycare."</p><p>"I can't Kristy. There's a reason it's called that. And besides, Diana said she was coming down with a cold. She won't be able to watch her either, same as you."</p><p>"Look, Nick, I don't care. Just do something. Maybe you should stay home for once."</p><p>"You know I can't. We're swamped and I'm not allowed to take vacation days right now."</p><p>"Family emergencies shouldn't count toward vacation," she said, her nose so stuffed up, the word 'family' sounded more like 'fambly'.</p><p>Nick wanted to laugh, but knew she'd only yell at him for being insensitive.</p><p>"I'll take her with me then." The words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to think about what he was saying. Take Cara to work with him? Was that such a good idea? Never mind the fact that they dealt with hardcore chemicals and weapons in the lab, Greg was also there. His two lives were colliding enough as it was, what with Greg bumping into Kristy at the supermarket, but now his daughter...</p><p>"Take her. Maybe you can put her to work, and actually get home on time tomorrow." Her sarcasm was always biting, with a sting that took hours, if not days, to fade away. He doubted this time would be any different.</p><p>"Fine. I'll see you tomorrow." Nick turned away and headed down the hall toward Cara's bedroom.</p><p>She was sitting on her bed running her tiny fingers over the pictures in one of her books, trying to understand what was happening since she couldn't read the words yet. Nick smiled as he kneeled beside the bed so he could be eye level with her.</p><p>"Hi Daddy." Her pronunciation had gotten so much better over the last few months, but she still had a far distance to go when it came to both pronunciation and proper language. "You wead?" She pointed to the book.</p><p>"No sweetie, Daddy's gotta go to work."</p><p>Her little face fell into a frown. "Aww." Auburn curls dropped forward, blocking her eyesight.</p><p>He brushed them back behind her ear. "But, you get to come with me. Do you like that idea? You can bring your book with you."</p><p>She seemed to think about it for a moment. "You wead me there?"</p><p>"Maybe on my lunch break. Ok? Come on, let's get some of your things packed up."</p><p>Cara nodded and struggled off the bed, reaching for the small backpack that was on the floor.</p><p>As they left the house, an image of a shocked, angry Greg filled Nick's mind. He hadn't seemed too upset over running into Kristy, but this would be entirely different. What if he hated Cara? What if he never wanted to see Nick again? He snorted. That was stupid. Months later Greg still had her daycare information on his refrigerator.</p><p>But Cara represented the relationship Nick had with someone else, even if it was tenuous. Greg hadn't interacted with her, or even seen her, since they'd started... what were they doing? Having sex, yes, but it was so much more than that, he just didn't know what to call it. And maybe once Greg finally saw her, he'd realize he didn't want to get mixed up in Nick's crazy life. Maybe he'd feel it was ruining his own. After all, there were other men out there without kids to bog them down.</p><p>Well, he had no choice now. At least there were others at the lab he could count on to look after Cara if he had to go out into the field.</p><p>"Daddy? What you think about?"</p><p>"Nothing, sweetie."</p><p>He pulled into his parking space beside Greg's Jetta and helped Cara out of the car, his breath hitching. His hand innocently brushed against the cool silver metal of the other car and butterflies began fluttering in his stomach.</p><p>Entering the building, he let his daughter run on ahead of him while he kept a close eye on her.</p><p>"Hey Judy," he greeted the night secretary.</p><p>"Nick." She smiled back.</p><p>"Cara, left. Turn left sweetie."</p><p>Cara made the correct turn and kept right on going as he jogged to catch up to the little girl. He was glad the place was nearly empty this time of night. Apparently, not all of the graveyard shift had come in yet, and most of swing had already left. He was quick to scoop her up into his arms just before they reached the breakroom. If Catherine was there he was going to ask her to watch Cara while he went to the locker room to get his gear.</p><p>But when he entered the room, he found himself face to face with Greg, sitting alone at the table with two mugs of Blue Hawaiian coffee in front of him.</p><p>A surprised look flitted across Greg's face before his usual grin replaced it.</p><p>The butterflies began to fly faster.</p><p>"Cara! Long time no see, girl. Where've you been?" He got up to see her.</p><p>She looked at him and blinked. "Who you?"</p><p>Now it was Greg's turn to blink. "What? You mean you don't remember me? We met at your very first Christmas party when you were not even a year old. Do you remember that?"</p><p>She shook her head and squirmed to get down. Nick set her on the floor and watched her climb up onto the couch.</p><p>"Nah, of course you don't. My name's Greg. I'm a friend of your Dad's. So, how old is the little princess now?" When she didn't answer he exclaimed, "Don't tell me you forgot how old you are!"</p><p>"I be three!"</p><p>"Ah, I knew it! Lucky number three."</p><p>"Daddy! Want coloring book!"</p><p>He got it out of her backpack and gave it to her along with a box of crayons. Greg handed him the extra coffee mug, their fingers brushing, as he sat down at the table.</p><p>"Kristy's got a cold," Nick explained before Greg could ask. "And Diana, from daycare, is sick too. I had no other option but to bring her here. Griss's gonna kill me."</p><p>"I can watch her for you, if you need me to. If you get a scene."</p><p>"Would you?" On the outside Greg didn't seem angry with him for bringing her to work. But on the inside? He wanted to believe Greg had a heart of gold, but they'd never talked about this so he wasn't sure.</p><p>"I'd be happy to, Nick. You know that." Greg's hand drifted down to his and held it for an all too brief moment. He pulled away, quick, when the door opened and Catherine came in, dressed in a nice black pant suit.</p><p>Before either of the men got a chance to say hi she saw Cara and was drawn to her side to see what she was coloring. The rest of the night shift filed in two seconds later, minus Grissom, and Nick found himself bombarded with questions about his daughter: What was she doing there? How old was she now? Had she started school yet? Someone asked how Kristy was and if she still working at the salon. Anything anyone could come up with they were asking.</p><p>Cara ignored them, burying her nose further into her coloring book and their attention eventually refocused on Nick. While he was busy trying to field all their questions, Greg quietly refilled his mug with the last of the Blue Hawaiian, put his own mug in the sink, and grabbed the backpack from the table.</p><p>"I've got her, Nick," he said, catching Nick's eye as he lead her out the door.</p><hr/><p>In his lab, Greg found a stool and plopped the little girl at an empty table with her coloring book.</p><p>"Why's Daddy not here?"</p><p>"Because Daddy has to work."</p><p>Greg sighed at the mess the day shift tech had left behind and began cleaning up the beakers and test tubes.</p><p>"But you be woking."</p><p>He chuckled. A few minutes ago she'd had the 'r' sound down. Now, it seemed to escape her memory.</p><p>"Yeah, I am. But you know what?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Your Daddy works outside of here a lot. And where he works he can't take little people like you. Or me, for that matter."</p><p>"Why's that?"</p><p>"Cause it's too dangerous, that's why."</p><p>"But he can go there?"</p><p>"He has to. It's part of his job." Greg finished moving everything over to the counter beside the sink and turned to the little girl, his eye catching a glimpse of a black t-shirt and tight jeans hurrying down the hall. "Speaking of Daddy."</p><p>Nick breezed in a moment later. "Greg, I owe you one, big time."</p><p>"We've been over this before. No you don't."</p><p>Nick turned to his daughter. "Alright, sweetie, I've gotta go. But I promise I'll come see you the moment I get back. Ok?"</p><p>"Ok." She put down her red crayon and wrapped her arms around him for a big bear hug.</p><p>Just as he was about to leave, Greg intercepted him. "Be safe... for both of us."</p><p>"I will."</p><p>Then Nick was gone.</p><hr/><p>Nick walked down the hall in the direction of the DNA lab, several bags filling his arms. Warrick wasn't too far behind him carrying evidence for Hodges in the trace lab.</p><p>"Oh God..." Nick stopped in his tracks and Warrick nearly bowled him over.</p><p>"Nick, what the hell man?"</p><p>Through the window he could see Greg sitting in one of the overstuffed arm chairs from the breakroom. His daughter was curled up in the man's arms, apparently sound asleep. He couldn't help but think Greg would make a good father. He needed a camera... but knew he couldn't take the picture. He'd just have to do his best to remember it.</p><p>"Aww, look at that. It's too bad you're not gay and single Nick. Looks like they're really getting along there."</p><p>He shot Warrick a nasty look.</p><p>"Oh sorry. Not really cracking homo jokes. I know you love Kristy. I was just saying..."</p><p>"I don't hate gays, Warrick." The hair on the back of his neck stood up, anticipating something not so pleasant in the near future.</p><p>"I didn't mean to insinuate..."</p><p>"How's your new girlfriend?" Nick interjected to change the subject, feeling his skin grow warm with anger.</p><p>"Tina? Oh she's fine... very fine." Warrick's voice took on what he assumed was his bedroom tone.</p><p>Greg chose that moment to look up. He saw Nick, and a small smile flickered across his face.</p><p>"I think he's got a crush on you. I've seen him making you coffee. He's always here waiting for you before shift starts. And he didn't just smile for any old reason. He saw you. Nick, you're going to have to do something about that. I mean, you're married. Maybe he's not the right person to be acting as babysitter."</p><p>What the hell did Warrick know? If he'd been paying that much attention to Greg, then surely he must have noticed that Nick was playing along. He knew nothing.</p><p>"He doesn't have a crush on me," Nick said through gritted teeth. "He might not actually be gay in the first place. Keep thinking about Tina and stay out of my love life, please." He stepped into the cool air of the DNA lab, letting the door shut behind him with a small hiss, already feeling the calm descending upon him from Greg's mere presence.</p><p>Greg stood up and gently set the sleeping child back in the comfy chair. "What did you say to him?" he looked concerned, swiveling his head from Warrick still standing out in the hall to Nick, now in his lab.</p><p>"Nothing," Nick sighed. "How's she been?"</p><p>"Perfect kid. She's been running this place for me. I've just been her slave all along."</p><p>"Yeah, she is a good kid."</p><p>"You're very lucky, you know that?"</p><p>Nick nodded, unable to tell Greg the ultimate truth: He was lucky, though not just because of his beautiful daughter. He'd never thought about the three of them as a family before, but just the inkling of the idea sounded perfect. He could easily imagine himself waking up next to Greg every afternoon, not getting bitched at all the time for the smallest of things, and not having to choose between spending his time with his lover or his daughter.</p><p>He pushed the thought out of his head. Cara needed her mother, no matter how much of a bitch she could be at times, and he wasn't about to take that away from her. No matter how much Greg made him happy, he had to think of his daughter first.</p><p>"Nick?" Greg's voice brought him back to reality.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"What were you thinking about? Bad case?"</p><p>Nick shook his head. He couldn't keep the truth from Greg. "No, Warrick said something about you having a crush on me and that maybe you weren't a good choice as babysitter because I'm married. That's all."</p><p>"I didn't mean to look at you like that. I just..."</p><p>"It's not your fault." His anger rose once again, this time even closer to the boiling point. "Is he still out there? I'm gonna go set him straight."</p><p>"Nick." Greg stepped forward and grasped his arm. "Stop. You don't know what you're saying. Besides, he's gone now."</p><p>"I'm tired of hiding who I really am."</p><p>"That doesn't mean you can just go blurting things in the heat of the moment. These things have consequences."</p><p>Nick pulled out of Greg's grasp, trying desperately to stop himself from trembling.</p><p>"Listen to me," Greg continued. "If you want to divorce Kristy, if you've thought about it long and hard enough, and you're sure about it, then that's fine. You know I'll support any decision you make, but don't go blurting things until those decisions have been made. Alright?"</p><p>Why did Greg have to be right? He didn't want him to be. He wanted to be out with his friends, wanted them to know the truth. But Greg was right. He shouldn't do anything rash. It would only make things worse.</p><p>"Yeah, alright," he mumbled.</p><p>"Can we talk about this further next time you come over?"</p><p>Nick, needing someplace else to look, let his eyes wander around the room until they'd landed on his daughter, her eyes gently closed, a complete picture of innocence. "I don't want her to lose her mother," he said, voice in a near whisper, as if he didn't really want to say the words. Did he? He wasn't sure, but repeated them anyway, "She needs a mother, she really does."</p><p>"Ok. That's fine." Greg turned back toward one of the tables, picking up a sample Nick had dropped there upon his entrance.</p><p>"How did you get her to fall asleep? Usually it's not very easy."</p><p>"She asked me to read that Alphabears book. Claimed it was her favorite bedtime story. She dropped off after the first few letters."</p><p>"She did?"</p><p>"Yeah. Why?"</p><p>Nick was blown away. "She hates it when Kristy reads it to her. She'll only let me read it. If you could do that, I think you'd make a good father, G." he didn't even realize what he'd said until after the words were out of his mouth. But they were true, and he couldn't hide the truth.</p><p>"Don't say stuff like that."</p><p>"Like what? That was a compliment."</p><p>"No. No, it wasn't. And you know it." When Greg turned back around he saw the hurt in the other man's eyes. What the hell? "You know how devoted to you I am. You know I don't see anyone else. You tell me I'd make a good father. Fine. I might even like that. But what other chance am I going to get?" He was obviously upset, and Nick was confused, still wondering what he'd said to set him off. "Dimwit, you just told me she can't have two fathers. What am I supposed to say to that? If you're just going to contradict yourself, don't bother complimenting me ever again."</p><p>Oh, shit. How could he have been so stupid?</p><p>"I'm... I didn't mean... G..."</p><p>Greg turned his back on him. "Don't bother apologizing either. I'm not in the mood to hear it."</p><p>"Nick?" Catherine poked her head into the lab.</p><p>He turned, body almost jerking with the movement, to see her in the doorway.</p><p>"Warrick's looking for you."</p><p>"Yeah, um... tell him I'll be right there."</p><p>"Oh, don't bother. Nick was just leaving."</p><p>"What?" He looked back at Greg. "You're kicking me out?"</p><p>The lab tech looked over his shoulder and when he spoke, his tone was cold as ice, "It's my lab, and I have work to do. Unless you don't feel like solving your case tonight. If that's what you want, then you'll have to explain to Warrick why half the evidence is missing."</p><p>Fuck. It was bad enough when Kristy was pissed at him. That was a regular occurrence. But Greg? His lover's words stung his heart like no others ever had. His life was doomed.</p><p>"Come on, Nick. It looks like your dead body used to be the prime suspect in my case from last night. Let's go."</p><p>Grudgingly, wondering what he was going to do to make things right with Greg, he took one last look at Cara, still sleeping soundly in the overstuffed chair, before following his coworker to the layout room. How she ever managed to sleep so well was beyond him. She must have gotten it from her mother.</p><p>"What happened, Nick? I thought you two were the best of friends?" Catherine asked once the lab door was closed.</p><p>"I guess we're not."</p><p>"You're not gonna tell me why?"</p><p>"Just an argument. That's all."</p><p>Catherine turned to face him. "If it was 'just an argument', Nicky, you wouldn't be saying your friendship is doomed."</p><p>"Maybe it's not. I don't know."</p><p>She huffed out a sigh and turned to continue down the hall, her strawberry blonde hair swinging back over her shoulder. "Men."</p><hr/><p>When the end of shift came around, hours later, Nick found Cara in the breakroom with Greg, her backpack all packed up and ready to go.</p><p>"Daddy!" She jumped up and down to get into his arms.</p><p>He picked her up. "Thanks, G." The words were harder to say than he'd thought they would be, viewing their argument earlier, but he knew he had to say something. He couldn't lose Greg. Greg was the glue holding him together.</p><p>His lover gave him the cold shoulder as he brushed past him.</p><p>"Greg, don't do this."</p><p>But it was already too late. The other man was out in the hall walking at a brisk pace toward the front of the building.</p><p>"Why he mad?" Cara asked.</p><p>"It's a long story. Come on, let's get you home and see if Diana can take you for the day, alright?"</p><p>"Ok."</p><p>He'd been stupid. Couldn't Greg see he hadn't meant to say it like that? His heart, mind, body, hell, even his soul had been in an emotional turmoil for the past few months. Sure, he had fun with Greg, enjoyed the sex, and the emotional support from the other man, but that didn't make his life any easier. Couldn't Greg see all that? Couldn't he take just one second out of his day and understand his feelings for a moment? Why did Greg have to be so thick headed?</p><p>"Daddy? We go home now?"</p><p>He blinked. "Yeah, sure. Right. Let's go home."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CSI: Sanctuary: Chapter 9</p><p>Lover's quarrel. At work. Of all damn places. It was bound to happen. They did work together, after all. He knew it was a bad idea to sleep with a coworker. He'd thought about quitting and finding work somewhere else. For sure there were pharmaceutical companies needing chemists in the area. But he'd already given up so much for Nick and he finally had the opportunity to work in the field.</p><p>Greg sighed, throwing the spatula into the sink. Smoke, rising from the burned eggs on the stove, filled the air, but the detector was silent, nicely damaged on the floor. He sank into a chair, covering his face with his hands. He'd told himself, so long ago already, that he could do this. He could care for Nick and let him go when he needed to. He'd done a good job of it so far. Some dumb hero complex or something. And he'd thought only Nick had one of those. It wasn't as easy any more. At one point in his life Warrick would have been correct about that crush. Now, though, things were different. He was in over his head and way beyond having a simple crush.</p><p>Nick was right to be upset about being in the closet. He stuffed Greg in the closet every time they went to work, every time he left the apartment, every time they weren't together. He asked himself if he was really happy just because he could make Nick happy a few times a week. The answer was elusive, but he doubted it was an all-encompassing, positive yes.</p><p>He'd given Nick everything, and the CSI had turned him down. Could he really keep giving him up every damn day for the rest of his life? That's what it would mean if he stayed with Nick. They would both be in the closet, and Nick would go back to his wife every day. Could he do that without going crazy?</p><p>Nick had made up his mind. Now it was Greg's turn to make his own decision. Relationships were a two-way street and if Nick wasn't willing to give up anything on his side... he would just have to show Nick what it felt like to be rejected by someone who cared.</p><p>Banging on his apartment door brought him back to his smokey kitchen. "Greg! Open up!" Nick sounded worried out in the hall.</p><p>He got up and slowly walked out to the door. Why was he bothering? Did he even want to talk to the man? Unsure, he opened the door just as Nick began to pound even harder.</p><p>"Sure, alert the neighbors that you're the one I've been sleeping with. Maybe one of them knows Kristy. What the fuck are you doing here?" Greg asked in greeting.</p><p>"Oh thank God!" Nick pulled him into a warm, tight hug.</p><p>"What the hell?" Greg pushed him away and backed into his apartment, not wanting to draw attention to themselves in the hallway.</p><p>"I thought... I smelled the smoke... and..." Nick stumbled over his words, following Greg inside. "What happened in here?"</p><p>"Burned the eggs. Want some?"</p><p>Nick's hands turned into fists at his sides, though he didn't look angry enough to be violent. "I want to apologize."</p><p>"Why bother?"</p><p>"What I said was wrong. I said a lot of wrong things, and I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to piss you off. That's the last thing I want. I swear."</p><p>This wasn't easy on Nick either. If Greg had a hard time staying in control of his feelings, he had to remember Nick had the harder job, just because he was married and couldn't be himself at work or at home. He forced himself to take several deep breaths to calm down. It wouldn't do either of them any good if they were both angry and not thinking logically.</p><p>"Have you ever been with a guy before?" Greg asked.</p><p>"What? Greg, what does that have to do with anything?"</p><p>"Have. You. Been. With. A. Guy. Before?"</p><p>Nick sighed, lowering his eyes to stare at the floor. "Yes," he mumbled.</p><p>Damn hero complex. It wasn't his job to save Nick's soul or anything, yet he would still do anything for him, even if they couldn't be together. Greg reached out and took his hand, surprising him, and lead him over to the couch. "Tell me about it," he coaxed quietly.</p><p>"It was in college. He was some random guy I had class with. Math, I think. I saw him a few times. But we had to be careful cause I was on the baseball team, you know?" Nick's eyes flickered up to Greg's and he nodded for him to continue. "That's it."</p><p>"That's it?"</p><p>"It didn't work out, me being on the team, and he just wasn't my type. He wanted to lead and I wouldn't follow. I was still trying to like girls too."</p><p>"Ok. So tell me what happened with Kristy. That was years later. You had to have known by that point that you didn't like women. Right?"</p><p>"I did. But she begged and pleaded to have just one night together. She wanted to thank me for everything I'd done for her. I told her no at first. But the more she asked, the more I kept thinking what if she's the one? What if she can help me stay straight? It only took that one night for her to get pregnant. She didn't want kids. She swore uphill and down. But, what else was there to do but what we did? She didn't believe in abortions, and I couldn't stand the thought of my child going through life without me. What are you getting at, G? I don't want to talk about this."</p><p>"I know you don't. But look at the situation we're in. We have to. You don't want to be stuck in the closet any more than I do. Remember, I know what it's like just as much as you do. Only I don't have a beautiful daughter to go home to."</p><p>"Greg..." Nick sounded weary.</p><p>"I care about you. And just like I told you before, that's not going to change any time soon."</p><p>When Nick tried to interrupt, Greg held up his hand so he could continue. "I can't force you to make tough decisions about Cara's parentage. I can't ask you to reconsider your decision for my sake. But I can ask you to reconsider for Cara and for yourself. Kristy didn't want children before she got pregnant. If she's changed her thoughts since having Cara, that's great. But if she hasn't... is that really good for your daughter? I care about her too, you know, just as much as I care about you. I want her to have the best life possible.</p><p>"I'll try to support you, no matter what you decide, but I can't promise..." How could he say this out loud without breaking Nick's heart? Without breaking his own? Fucking hero complex. That's what it was. It had to be. "I can't... if you really think Cara needs her mother in her life full-time... I'm not sure I can... I'm not sure I can be a part of that." There. He'd said it.</p><p>Nick was silent for awhile, the wheels turning slowly in his brain. While he spent time mulling over what had been said, Greg went back into the kitchen, opened both windows to help further dissipate the smoke, threw out the burnt eggs, and got a pot of coffee started. When he returned to the livingroom, Nick was just as he'd left him, still deep in thought. He sat down next to him again.</p><p>"I'm not looking to sway you, but can I just say a few more things?"</p><p>Nick blinked and nodded his consent.</p><p>"You know she wouldn't be the only little girl out there with two fathers. I would like to have that opportunity. I'd like to think that you're right, that I would make a good father. But right now I'm feeling like this might just be my only chance. I don't want to butt into your relationship with Kristy, but from my experience, she won't be happy no matter what you pick." Greg paused to take in a breath and tell himself he wasn't trying to lecture Nick to death. "Look around you."</p><p>The other man dutifully did as he was told.</p><p>"This has become your second home. Every time you come you keep leaving things here, like you're trying to make a point or stake a claim. Think about these things. Alright? Take your time. There's a pot of coffee brewing. I'm not expecting an answer tonight. Or tomorrow. Or even next week. But right now, I'm going to bed because I'm still a little pissed off, and exhausted. Unless you need me?"</p><p>Nick shook his head. "I don't want to be a bother... I'll just go."</p><p>"I told you there was coffee brewing. I didn't kick you out. Come to bed when you're ready." Greg turned away and then paused mid-step. "Actually, there is one more piece of advice I need to give you." He came back to the couch, and lifted Nick's chin with one finger so he could see into the other man's eyes. He leaned close and pressed a kiss to his forehead then his lips, and whispered, "Follow your heart."</p><p> </p><hr/><p>Greg's eyes fluttered open at the sensation of something warm and wet on his face. He realized his bed was warm and cozy. It hadn't been when he'd first gotten in. Nick's body was wrapped comfortingly around his and he was kissing him.</p><p>"I didn't mean to wake you," Nick whispered.</p><p>"Sure you didn't."</p><p>Had he made a decision already? Or was he just feeling needy and lonely? Nick pressed a kiss to his open mouth, running his tongue over Greg's lips. It didn't matter. Hands moved over him, underneath his t-shirt, skin on skin. Nothing mattered. Nick's touch had a power over him he couldn't deny.</p><p>Nick stopped, his body hovering over Greg's, their mouths barely an inch apart before he dropped his head to Greg's shoulder, the rest of his body following suit. Without even thinking, Greg took his weight and wrapped his arms around him.</p><p>"I never did officially make the decision to stay with Kristy. I never meant for you to think that. I'm sorry. I just don't know how to go about anything right now."</p><p>"I told you to take your time."</p><p>"I know, and you've been so supportive, I just want you to know how grateful I am, that I really am listening to every word you tell me. I don't want to be stupid here, but..." Nick's voice dropped to a whisper, "Can we keep going as if we didn't have this argument? I just don't want it to change anything between us right now."</p><p>"If you want to fuck me, then fuck me already. You know I'll give you anything you want."</p><p>Fucking hero complex again. Only this time he'd said it out loud. But what else was there to say when the hot, hunky, man of his dreams was pressing himself, all of himself, into Greg's body.</p><p>Nick raised his head and looked at Greg in surprise. "But we've never..." he trailed off, eyes wandering over Greg's face, making sure he was certain of his words.</p><p>"Do it." Giving the order felt so... so good... Hot? Sexy? Yeah. Down right delicious. He was already hard and ready when Nick ground their hips together. A low moan came out, though he wasn't sure who's it was.</p><p>"You sure?" Nick asked, gasping for breath.</p><p>"Yes!" He worked his hands between them, pushing his pajama bottoms down, kicking them off. Yup. Stiff as a nail, bumping into Nick's abdomen. The slight movement of fabric against the tip of his cock had him trying desperately to hold in a wild moan between clenched teeth. He almost failed. A warm hand gripped his member and began stroking it in a rhythm almost too fast for Greg to handle. "Oh God!"</p><p>He looked at Nick, half hovering over him, just as the older man ducked his head, but not before Greg saw him close his eyes. Everything happened so fast. One moment he was wondering about Nick's odd reaction, and the next, he was coming all over his hand. It took him several minutes to catch his breath. "Damn... that was... damn."</p><p>Nick grabbed several tissues from the bedside table and wiped off his hand before flopping onto his back and staring up at the ceiling.</p><p>"I thought you were going to fuck me. What happened to that plan?"</p><p>Nick didn't answer. Greg rested on one elbow so he could see Nick's ashen face.</p><p>"Hey, are you ok? What happened?"</p><p>"I can't. I'm sorry, but I just can't."</p><p>The look on his face said it all. It wasn't that he'd never done it before. It wasn't that he was worried they weren't clean. It wasn't that Greg was the one person, guy or girl, he'd dated the longest. It was the fact that Kristy was waiting for him at home with their daughter. The fact that the last time he'd penetrated another person he'd gotten her pregnant. And he knew he had a tough decision to make.</p><p>Greg lay back down on his side and curled up into Nick, resting his head on his shoulder, and draped his right arm across his chest. "It's ok," he whispered. "I'm not in any rush."</p><p>But while he did his best to comfort Nick and pretend everything was ok, a silent tear ran down his cheek, followed quickly by a second and a third.</p><hr/><p>It was clear something had happened at home. Nick had been a blank slate all through work, so much so, that other people had started to notice.</p><p>"Who peed in your Cheerios?" Warrick asked at the end of the night when the three of them were in the locker room getting ready to go home.</p><p>"No one," Nick said, voice nearly flat. "I just didn't sleep well yesterday."</p><p>"Well, get some good sleep today, alright? I like you awake versus asleep."</p><p>"Right."</p><p>Warrick left with a friendly punch to Nick's arm.</p><p>As Nick turned to Greg, the worried clouds covering his brown eyes became evident for the first time that night. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Greg assured him he hadn't gotten rid of his extensive DVD collection since Nick's last visit, or his video game collection, for that matter. Nick gave a slight smile and might have even laughed a little if his cell phone hadn't stolen the moment two seconds later.</p><p>Throwing a fresh t-shirt over his head, Greg watched him answer it. His face fell and those worried clouds refilled his eyes. Wanting to take him in his arms and hold him, letting him know he was there and that everything would be ok, Greg did his best to refrain from the obvious while they were still at work.</p><p>Nick hung up. "I have to go. Cara's sick, probably got what Kristy had, and daycare wants me to pick her up."</p><p>"Kristy?"</p><p>"At work. Supposedly she kinda forced her on them, wouldn't take no for an answer, and then left."</p><p>"Then what are you so scared about? You get a whole day alone with your daughter."</p><p>"I know. I just... I needed..." Nick sighed. "We had a particularly nasty fight just before I left for work. You know, most times we just don't talk to each other. But this time... she had to be in one of her moods. She started screaming at me in front of Cara. I tried to reason with her, but there didn't seem to be anything I could do to calm her down except come to work."</p><p>While Nick stared at the floor, Greg did a quick sweep of the hallway. Finding it empty, he knelt in front of Nick and slid their hands together, letting their eyes find each other.</p><p>"It will be ok. You will be ok. I promise. But if you need me later, you can always call me. You know I'm there whenever you need me. Alright?"</p><p>While he did his best to boost Nick's enthusiasm, he watched him visibly relax. Nick nodded.</p><p>"Now, go play Daddy and love that little girl."</p><p>Nick got up and moved to the door before he stopped and turned. "Thanks, G."</p><p>When he was alone, Greg found himself covering his face with his hands. He had just proven to himself that he could still let Nick go when he needed to. But all the same, he knew he couldn't do it forever. At some point he had to face reality. He'd said he would always be there for Nick, and he wanted to be, but the question was: Could he realistically be there for a man who was tied down to a family? Could he keep sharing him with Kristy? He was sure his old therapist would tell him it was unhealthy. And maybe it was. But how did one leave a relationship like that if one didn't want to? And if he did leave, what would that do to Nick?</p><p>"Greg?"</p><p>Greg looked up to see Bobby Dawson standing in the doorway.</p><p>"You ok, man?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Greg lied.</p><p>"No you're not." Bobby stepped into the room and sat down beside him. "I know what you're going through."</p><p>"You couldn't possibly."</p><p>"Yes, I do. You've been doing a good job taking care of Nick for awhile now."</p><p>Greg's body jerked in surprise. "How did you know?" If Bobby knew...</p><p>"I've seen you two when you thought no one was watching. You're subtle. But obvious to someone who's been in your shoes."</p><p>His mind went blank. How could...? "Oh God... Oh... shit. I can't talk about this here. I can't..." His late lunch began to swirl in his stomach.</p><p>"No one else is here, Greg. Just you, me, and the cleaning crew. All of night shift left and day shift hasn't come in yet."</p><p>Greg put his head back in his hands, sighing a shaky breath, trying to calm his stomach.</p><p>"You haven't talked to anyone about this, have you?" It wasn't a question.</p><p>Greg shook his head. "You can't go through this alone, without someone to talk to. It's too emotionally draining."</p><p>"What personal experience could you possibly have that you would know this?"</p><p>"I used to have a wife and two beautiful children. Now I have a husband with two beautiful children."</p><p>"You... you do?" He lifted his head to see Bobby give a solemn nod.</p><p>"I do. I sought help from a therapist to give me some direction. I didn't know what to do, what was best for my children, for my heart, for my boyfriend."</p><p>"Nobody can know about this. Please, promise me you won't tell a soul. Nick'll kill me if he finds out."</p><p>"No one else knows. I won't tell anyone. And you, of all people, should know Nick wouldn't kill you over this. He depends on you."</p><p>Greg nodded. Yeah, he knew it. Nick was a sweetheart. A big, tough, sweetheart. The most loving guy he'd ever met and had the chance to date, if what they were doing could be considered dating.</p><p>Stomach still swirling, he began to spill the truth, "It's just that... well... he's still not ok with this. He does a good job hiding it. But I can tell. I sometimes doubt he ever will be entirely ok with it."</p><p>"I won't say it's easy, cause it's not. You already know that. But there's a chance it can get better. You just have to hold on and don't give up. But don't lock your feelings away. That will only make things worse."</p><p>"I told him he had to make the decision, either Kristy or me, that I couldn't help him either way, but that I would support his decision, whichever way he went. I... um, also told him if he chose her that I couldn't stay."</p><p>"Sounds like you've already been to therapy. That's probably the best thing you could have told him."</p><p>"I could have opened my own practice without going to school for it if I wanted to, that's how much therapy I've had."</p><p>"But even therapists sometimes need someone to talk to."</p><p>"I don't like the idea of talking about Nick and his problems, our problems, to someone who doesn't know either of us, without him there."</p><p>"Look, I don't charge anything, I know you both, I've been where you've been, and I would never tell a single person. If you ever feel the need to talk to anyone, my door's always open. Alright?"</p><p>Oddly enough, his stomach began to calm itself. His lunch settled and he began to breathe easier.</p><p>"Yeah. Thanks. I actually do feel a little bit better, for the time being, anyway." It actually felt nice to know he didn't have to deal with this all on his own.</p><p>"Good." Bobby got up to leave.</p><p>"Hey, Bobby?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I just... I don't want you to think that I... That I'm trying to steal him away from his family or anything. I'm not. Things just aren't going well for him at home. He loves his daughter to pieces, but other than that... I mean... He does spend as much time with her as he can. I would never take that away from either of them. But sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who truly cares about him."</p><p>"Jack didn't steal me away from Mary. He simply helped me to understand my feelings and why I had a hard time sleeping with her, doing even the simplest things, like cooking dinner together, or eating at the same table. I liked her, sure, but it always felt weird. It didn't feel right. I knew I wasn't with the right person, I just didn't understand why. Now, ten years later, I'm the happiest I've ever been. And I think my kids are better for it."</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For those who care, this is the start of season five. This chapter covers a LOT of ground, so I hope you don't feel rushed, but I wasn't sure how else to include all this information. Also, a WARNING: Spoilers abound in this chapter, to many, very specific episodes from the first half of the season.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You're only picking women, G," Nick commented, resting his chin on Greg's shoulder to better view the laptop sitting on his boyfriend's lap.</p><p>"I'm picking women because we don't need any more testosterone in the lab."</p><p>Nick snorted. It wasn't the amount of testosterone Greg was worried about. It was the competition. He was probably thinking some new hunk might come along and steal his already married boyfriend.</p><p>"Besides, I find it easier to talk to women and become friends with them."</p><p>"What about me?" Nick did his best to sound hurt as he leaned back against the arm of the couch and brought Greg with him.</p><p>Greg turned to face him, tracing his jaw with a finger. "You, are another matter entirely," he said before landing a sultry kiss on Nick's lips.</p><p>Nick took hold of his wandering finger and held it captive, only ever wanting more from Greg. More kisses. More loving. More of everything.</p><p>"Nick," Greg left him with a low warning tone. "I have work to do. If I don't find a replacement for the DNA lab, then I don't get to go out into the field. Remember?"</p><p>"Of course I remember. That's why I'm helping you." Nick let him go and Greg resumed browsing the possible resumes on his screen.</p><p>"What about this one?" He pointed to one with the name Chandra Moore printed across the top of the first page. "She's got all the credentials and she's worked at a large pharmaceutical company."</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"I already talked to some of her references. They say she's really good."</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>"What don't you know? What could possibly be wrong with her?"</p><p>"Just..." Nick struggled to find the right words that wouldn't hurt Greg too much. "Something in the way she says she likes everything just right so she can get her work done. The way she keeps her area neat and clean, spotless, to perfection."</p><p>"Nick? Her workspace is supposed to be spotless."</p><p>"What about your workspace?" Even as Nick asked the question he found himself staring at Greg's open expanse of skin right behind his left ear. Something about it was entrancing.</p><p>"I only left books lying around. And maybe a beaker or two. But chemicals, never. That would be a breach of protocol. And I could be fired for that."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"I've already scheduled an interview with her tomorrow."</p><p>"Then what do you need my help for? Seems like you've got everything covered."</p><p>"I don't..." Nick's lips gently brushed over the skin in front of him. "...know." Greg shivered as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. "Nick..."</p><p>"Yeah?" He kissed him again, loving the simple fact that Greg went ecstatic when he did this. When he did anything to him.</p><p>Greg pulled away, eyes falling to his lap. "Between training for the field and searching for a replacement on my own time... I'm sorry I don't get to spend much time with you."</p><p>"Don't be." Nick gave him another kiss. "You deserve this opportunity. And besides, we're together now so let's make the most of it. Yeah?"</p><p>Greg's eyes returned to his, a small flame of yearning and need burning there, becoming brighter and brighter as the seconds ticked by. He closed the laptop and dumped it on the coffee table without paying any attention to what he was doing. "Yeah."</p><hr/><p>Nick took the money Warrick held between his fingers as Chandra Moore, Greg's first attempt at a replacement, stormed out of the building after telling him she'd quit. He'd recognized the signs from the clipped tones of her resume and her cover letter. But Greg was so intent on getting a replacement, that he hadn't looked beyond her credentials.</p><p>Meeting Greg's gaze from across the hall, he saw the hurt look resting there and knew he'd have some explaining to do later.</p><p>Without asking for an invite, knowing by now that he didn't necessarily need one, he followed Greg back to his apartment.</p><p>"I can't believe you did that." Greg didn't even sound angry, but the way he dropped onto the couch, moping, gave him away.</p><p>"I'm sorry, G. I didn't want her to quit, honest."</p><p>"Then why did you have that bet with Warrick in the first place?"</p><p>"It had nothing to do with you. I tried to tell you she wouldn't fit in. She didn't have the right personality for the group of people she would be working with. That's all."</p><p>"So you were betting on my inability to choose a good replacement then. On the fact that I couldn't read her personality from her resume."</p><p>Nick stood near the couch, hands on his hips. "G, people like you because you're easy going. You make things fun and interesting when we need evidence. You brighten up the lab. It's nice to be able to come back from a grisly scene and see your smiling face. This is not an easy job. That job, alone, is not a hard one. But when you combine it with everything else that goes on in a crime lab as big as ours, the mix of people, the crimes that get to us, it's not as easy anymore. You should know that. She just wasn't the right person for the job. Even so, I still wanted you to succeed.</p><p>"Besides, I took the money knowing I was going to spend it on you. You deserve something special for all your hard work. And you know... Warrick would shit a brick if he knew what I was using his money for." Nick chuckled a little. "Take out's on Warrick this afternoon. Alright?"</p><p>"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not very hungry right now. I had a really crappy day." Not even bothering to take his jacket off, or his shoes, Greg lay down and closed his eyes, a true picture of sadness.</p><p>It had been a crappy day. Nick had heard all about it. He knelt at Greg's feet and untied his sneakers, pulled each one off and set them on the floor. He then moved to carefully help him out of his jacket before removing his own shoes and laying down beside him.</p><p>"I failed my proficiency," Greg said.</p><p>"But Grissom gave you another chance, didn't he?" Nick wrapped an arm around him, rubbing his back in what he hoped were soothing circles.</p><p>"Only because I found a suitable replacement. And now she's gone."</p><p>"So find another one."</p><p>"It's not that easy."</p><p>"Sure it is. Just look for someone with a bigger funny bone than Chandra. You'll make it, G. If I know you at all, I know you'll find the right person and you'll pass your next proficiency."</p><p>"I'm glad you think so. I'm glad someone in the world thinks so."</p><p>"Hey, you want to hear something funny?"</p><p>"Not really."</p><p>"Sara and I got stuck on this crazy case of a dead alien."</p><p>"Alien's are not funny, Nick. Besides, this is Vegas. I'm not surprised."</p><p>"Turns out the guy actually owned a wedding chapel. He'd dress up as an alien and marry people."</p><p>Greg gave a little snort. "Why?" But even as he asked the question he was beginning to smile, even if just a little.</p><p>"I wish I knew. But he thought Sara and I were together. You know?"</p><p>Surprise covered Greg's face all of a sudden. "You? Sara? No way! Come on, everyone knows she's got the hots for Grissom."</p><p>Nick laughed. "I know. Anyway, he offered to marry the two of us right then and there."</p><p>"He did? What did you tell him?"</p><p>"No thanks. You should have seen the look on Sara's face, man, she looked horrified."</p><p>"I'll bet."</p><p>"Can I just... I don't... what he said... It made me think of things... you... mainly." Nick found himself suddenly stumbling over his words, unsure what he really wanted to say. "I just... I kinda wish it had been you sitting there beside me, instead of Sara."</p><p>Greg's eyebrows furrowed. "In what capacity? Working the case? Or...?"</p><p>"I don't know. I know I'm not ready to make any big decisions yet. But when he asked that, it would have been real nice if he'd been correct about his assumptions. If I could have said maybe at a later date. Not that I want to marry you in front of an alien. Or Elvis for that matter. That's too tacky for my taste."</p><p>"I think I know what you mean."</p><p>Holding each other close, the two men fell into an easy silence after a hard night at work. Not knowing how much time had actually passed, and not entirely caring to find a clock, Nick was startled when Greg asked him how much time he was spending with Cara. "It just seems like you're here all the time," he explained.</p><p>"I'm actually picking her up from daycare later this afternoon and I promised her we could watch Winnie the Pooh when we get home."</p><hr/><p><em>"That's all we really are,"</em> Doc's voice rang in Greg's head as he entered his apartment alone, images of a breastplate being removed from a dead body followed closely by the man's heart, filling his mind.</p><p><em>"It's what you do with it that counts,"</em> Sara had clarified later. Clarified. Sure. Like he didn't already know that.</p><p>He'd been good all night. Even during his first autopsy. He'd surprised even himself by not getting sick. But now, as he thought back on his night, and the things Grissom had made him do for his experiment, his late lunch felt like it was beginning to boil in his stomach. His hands began to tremble, even though he hadn't thought about the explosion at all. Cold chills ran up his spine and his whole body began to shiver. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to keep his body heat in.</p><p>Greg shuffled over to the couch and gingerly sat down, very aware of the sweat starting to gather on his forehead and chest. What was going on? Was he sick? Was it something with Grissom's experiment? Lord knew what had gone into that nasty bucket aside from bleach and his own waste. He reached for his cell phone and blindly hit speed dial. Putting it to his ear, he listened to it ring, and ring, and ring. He closed it, throwing it on the coffee table with a groan. Where was Nick?</p><p>All of a sudden the food boiling in his stomach went from a medium to a full boil, thick bubbles hitting the walls of his body, popping, and reforming again. Running for the bathroom, he just barely made it in time for everything to boil over into the porcelain bowl.</p><p>There was a knock on his front door. Moaning and feeling only slightly better, he stood up on shaky legs and went to answer the door, praying that he didn't look like he'd just thrown up everything he'd eaten that night.</p><p>"Coming, I'm coming," he mumbled, fumbling with the door.</p><p>"G?"</p><p>Nick...</p><p>Without thinking he took an extra step forward into Nick's arms and rested his head against his chest.</p><p>"You're burning up!"</p><p>"So cold..."</p><p>Nick guided him inside and onto the couch, pulling a blanket from the back and draping it over his shivering body.</p><p>"What happened?" Nick asked, brushing Greg's hair from his face.</p><p>"I was good. Didn't get sick."</p><p>"I think I'd have to go against that thought, G. You're definitely sick."</p><p>"First autopsy. Wasn't sick. I was fine. Hey, I tried to call... wanted to ask you something."</p><p>"Yeah? What was that?"</p><p>"Your first... how did it go?"</p><p>Nick sighed, his eyes clouding for a moment before they cleared. He snuck a hand underneath the blanket and rested it against Greg's still trembling stomach. "You sure you're not going to need to rush anywhere anytime soon?"</p><p>"Nothing left to get rid of. I'm fine." Greg hoped he was. He needed to be. It was his job to be taking care of Nick, not the other way around.</p><p>Another chill ran up his spine, making him shiver even more. Nick was right. He was sick. Perhaps too sick to take care of Nick, but none-the-less, his boyfriend didn't seem to notice.</p><p>Nick toed off his shoes and slipped beneath the blanket to join Greg, wrapping his arms around him, letting Greg bury his head in the crook of his neck and shoulder. Greg took a deep breath, happy to be smelling nothing but Nick. The fact that he'd stuck around, and was trying to warm him with his own body heat, even though Greg hadn't brushed his teeth, was a clear sign he cared. And cared more than anyone else ever had.</p><p>"It was a little girl," Nick said. "About the same age as Cara right now." Nick's heart sped up, and Greg heard him swallow hard. "She'd been hit by a car. Her mother's car. Her mother had run her over on purpose. She was a mess. I was ok during the actually autopsy, but as soon as I got away, I bawled my eyes out."</p><p>Such a very Nick thing to do. Of course he didn't throw up.</p><p>"This year sucks."</p><p>"But it'll get better. Seeing an autopsy is just one more part to becoming a CSI. That's all."</p><p>"What else is there that I have to do?"</p><p>"Well..." Nick thought about it for a moment. "I'm taking my firearms test soon. That's something you'll need to do when you reach level three. Once a year you have to take the test."</p><p>"Great." Greg shook his head, burying it further into Nick. "That's the last thing I need."</p><p>"They'll make you take a class first G."</p><p>"All of this is a lot harder than I ever imagined."</p><p>"But you still want to do it, right?"</p><p>"Yeah. Only my new replacement can't start right away. So I'm stuck waiting."</p><p>"You won't be waiting long."</p><hr/><p>"You failed your firearms test?!"</p><p>Nick took a step back from his wife's screech, already wishing he'd decided not to come straight home after work. "Well, 225 is passing and I got a 220. So, really, I'm not that far away from passing."</p><p>"You still failed. Don't bother with excuses."</p><p>Greg, at the very least, had been a little more understanding and hadn't bitten Nick's head off over it when they'd talked earlier.</p><p>"So you failed. What's next? Don't tell me you lost your job. Cause, if you did... well, then I don't know what we're gonna do."</p><p>"I didn't lose my job, Kristy. You didn't even hear me out. I might have told you the whole story if you'd given me half a chance."</p><p>"No you wouldn't. When was the last time you said shit to me? About anything?"</p><p>"It doesn't matter what I try to tell you, you always yell at me. Sometimes I don't even know why I open my mouth."</p><p>Without bothering to finish their conversation, she huffed out something that sounded like she was late for work and brushed past him out the door.</p><p>Nick sat down on the couch and flipped on the tv to take his mind off his marital problems. He wasn't surprised by her exit. It was just like her.</p><p>"So, we're talking about cheating husbands," the early morning talk show host explained as the show returned from a commercial break. "A recent study found that those men who cheat on their wives and then leave them for the other woman are just as likely to leave the other woman for someone else. Now, with me here today is Doctor Jane Melville, an expert in psychology..."</p><p>Nick tuned out the woman, his own thoughts so loud in his head, he probably wouldn't have heard the smoke detector if it had been blaring right in his ear.</p><p>Once a cheater always a cheater. And he'd been cheating on Kristy almost since the day he started taking care of Greg after the lab explosion. What did that say about him?</p><p>With nothing good on, he turned off the tv and headed for bed. He wouldn't cheat on Greg. Would he? Greg wanted him to leave Kristy. It didn't take an idiot to know that. He cared about Greg more than he'd ever cared about his wife. He didn't want to think about hurting Greg that way. He might have screwed up his own life, but he didn't have to screw up Greg's as well.</p><p>Shaking his head, he pushed the horrible thought from his mind. At least Greg's night had been good. He had to admit Mia Dickerson seemed like a very capable woman with the right sense of humor to get along great with everyone in the lab. The last time he'd seen Greg, he'd been laughing with the new tech, a wide grin spread across his handsome face.</p><p><em>"If I can find the right lab tech, then you can go back out there and pass that test,"</em> Greg had told him just two hours earlier.</p><p>He knew he could do it. And he would.</p><hr/><p>"Greg?" Nick came into the breakroom, appearing relieved to find Greg alone. His brows were knit together with worry and the corners of his mouth had turned down into a frown as if weights had been pierced there.</p><p>"Nick?" Greg's first instinct was to hurry toward him, arms out, ready to accept him into them. He caught himself in time, stopping only a foot away from his lover, hands turning into fists, least he do something inappropriate for a work setting. "What's wrong? What happened?"</p><p>"We're being split up." Nick's Adams apple bobbed hard as he tried to hold in his emotions.</p><p>Being split up? Had someone found out about them? Had Warrick said something to someone? Why hadn't Grissom talked to him about this before a decision was seemingly made? Questions flitted through his mind before he even had a chance to fully process them and come to some form of logical conclusion.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"I wish this wasn't happening."</p><p>"What's happening? Nick, what's going on?"</p><p>Just then the door swung open and the rest of the team filed in and found seats. Grissom was the last to enter and the pained look on his face had Greg falling onto the couch, tugging on Nick's sleeve to join him.</p><p>Someone must have ratted them out.</p><p>"I'm sorry guys, but I've got some bad news," Grissom began.</p><p>Greg felt his face heating with humiliation. This was not what either of them needed, especially Nick. The whole team did not need to know the details of why this was happening. Why couldn't Greg just claim he'd asked for a shift change because of a new girlfriend or something?</p><p>"Conrad is splitting the team up."</p><p>Eyebrows went up in surprise, mouths turned into round ohs, and sounds of protest were uttered all around Greg. Ecklie knew. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Nick's life was ruined. This was not the way to come out to the world. He would lose his daughter. Kristy would take her away and never let him see her again. His heart ached for Nick.</p><p>Their boss raised his hand for silence and when the room was quiet he began again, "This is something I had no control over. There's nothing we can do about it. But here's how it's going to breakdown: Greg..."</p><p>He didn't want to look at the man, as if he were a judge handing down a life sentence for something he hadn't done. But he had done something. He'd, had sex with Nick. They were in a relationship, and he would do anything for the man and his daughter as if they were already married. For Nick, he would take any and all punishment they were both due.</p><p>"...pending your proficiency, you'll stay on graveyard with me."</p><p>That was a relief. Wasn't it?</p><p>Hardly.</p><p>It only meant Nick would move to another shift, or be forced to leave the lab altogether. If he got days, he might have more time with his daughter, but other than that, Greg couldn't think of a plus to leaving graveyard.</p><p>"Sara, you'll stay on Graveyard as well..."</p><p>Sara? What did she have to do with this? This was about his undercover relationship with Nick. Wasn't it?</p><p>"...and Sophia will be joining us starting next shift. Catherine, congratulations on your promotion to head of swing."</p><p>What? Catherine was switching out? Did she hate them for their relationship that much?</p><p>"I know, I know," Grissom rushed before she could utter a complaint. "I know you wanted days. But Ecklie feels it would be best for the lab if you worked swing shift. You can take it up with him if you don't like it. Nick..."</p><p>Oh God. Greg crossed his fingers, hard.</p><p>"...and Warrick, I'm sorry to see you both go."</p><p>Huh?</p><p>"You've been some of the best CSIs I've ever worked with, but from here on out, you'll be working swing under Catherine."</p><p>Greg's stomach lurched at the news before it fell into the basement beneath his feet. His hand itched to move two inches to the left where Nick's fidgeted in his lap, to hold them tight and never let go. Would they ever be able to see each other again?</p><p>Everyone was getting to their feet and leaving the room.</p><p>"Yo Nick," Warrick's voice boomed in the silence. "You, me, and Grissom are doing breakfast. Yeah?"</p><p>"Uh, yeah, sure."</p><p>Greg didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to his boyfriend before he was out the door and following his friend down the hall. It hadn't been about them after all, and the team still didn't know. However, the situation still left him feeling cold, empty, and alone.</p><hr/><p>"Bang! Bang! Bang!"</p><p>The sound of two young boys on the other side of the yellow tape, acting out the crime scene he was helping to process, had Greg moving toward them, hoping they could give him some information. At the sight of him, they turned, and started to run.</p><p>"Hey, I just want to ask you some questions," Greg called.</p><p>As they dashed away, one knocked over a plastic bin, it's lid falling to the ground. Greg looked down, and felt blood drain from his face. He called Grissom over to see what he'd found, but when his boss got there, his feet felt like they'd been encased in cement, not allowing him to move out of the way.</p><p>The dead child in the bin was nearly mummified and couldn't have been more than five years old.</p><p>The sound of a gun trumpeting through the air signaled death's arrival for yet a third time that night. Yelling and screaming added to the chaos of people scattering in different directions. Forcing his feet to move, Greg ducked behind the nearby dumpster as his heart rate skyrocketed. What the hell was going on?</p><p>"Why are they shooting at us?"</p><p>Grissom ducked his own head beside him. "I don't know."</p><p>More shots issued forth and then ceased just as quickly as they had started. How many had been shot? How many lay bleeding? Dying? Would the shooter come for him next? Would he ever get a chance to see Nick again?</p><p>He sighed with a shudder. Nick was, hopefully, sound asleep in bed, while he was in the middle of a gun battle that could still kill him. Looking down at what had kept him by the dumpster when the two kids had run off, he was reminded of how fragile life really was.</p><p>To make matters worse, he didn't know when he would see Nick again. They hadn't had time yet to discuss his new work hours and what it meant for their relationship. He wished they had, so that now, when he was stuck out here in the middle of the night feeling slightly more vulnerable than usual he could be reassured by some form of normalcy.</p><p>But there was none. And he had to deal with that.</p><p>Grissom was already on the move, telling Greg to stay with the body of the little boy. The gun fight was over. For now.</p><p>While he waited for his boss to return, he dug out his cell phone and called Nick. When it was clear his boyfriend probably was sound asleep, he left him a brief message, "Hey, I know you're asleep, but I wish you were working this scene with me. It'd make me feel better. I'm ok, but shots were fired. Don't know by who or why yet, or who all got hurt. And... I found... a dead little boy. I just... wish I knew when I'll see you again. Or just talk to you... I miss you."</p><p>In a matter of minutes, he'd been partially stripped of his hero complex and left with the need for someone else to be the hero for awhile. But the child at his feet begged for help, for retribution, and he wouldn't let the chance to do something pass him by. He couldn't.</p><hr/><p>Things hadn't gone well at home, to say the least. Two full days and nights had gone by since Nick had broken the news to his wife that his shift had been changed and she hadn't uttered one word to him. Thankfully they hadn't needed to change their schedule of picking up and dropping off Cara at daycare, but things hadn't been as easy in the bedroom.</p><p>For two nights, they'd actually shared a bed during the same hours. The moment Nick joined her under the covers everything felt wrong. She stayed on her side, her back to him the entire night. She didn't offer any warm embrace, or seek any from him. There was no kiss goodnight. The bed felt cold, and uninviting, even with two grown adults in it together.</p><p>She was not Greg.</p><p>From now on, he determined that he would sleep only once Cara had gone to daycare and Kristy had gone off to work. Whether he slept at home, alone, or with Greg didn't matter.</p><p>After Kristy left for work the second morning following Greg's upset call from his crime scene, Nick grabbed his cell phone and made the call he knew Greg needed.</p><p>"I'm glad it's you," Greg answered.</p><p>"I'm sorry I couldn't call you back sooner. I miss you too. Can I come over?"</p><p>"I'm just headed home, and I would love for you to come over."</p><p>"I'll be right there."</p><p>Fifteen minutes later he met Greg on his doorstep. His boyfriend pulled him into his apartment and placed a deep kiss to his lips before letting him go.</p><p>"I need to run," Greg said, disappearing into his bedroom.</p><p>Nick followed to find him changing into his running shorts and sneakers.</p><p>Just a few minutes later they were jogging side by side down the length of Greg's street. No words had been exchanged since Greg's proclamation, but Nick was ok with that. Greg would talk to him when he felt ready to do so.</p><p>Nothing would ever get in the way of their relationship. He'd always told himself he was monogamous. He'd been proud of that fact when so many of his old college friends had trouble even pronouncing the word. But if he couldn't stay with Kristy... He pushed the thought out of his mind. He'd never really cared for her. That was a key point. How was one supposed to live with someone they felt nothing for?</p><p>Together, their feet pounded the pavement, almost in sync. Sweat ran down his back, and for once, he struggled to keep up with Greg as the other man let his emotions out through his pumping legs, squashing them on the pavement each time he put a foot down.</p><p>He cared about Greg like he'd never cared for anyone before. Didn't he? No one else had ever made him so happy in his entire life. Why would he cheat on someone who made him that happy? He wouldn't. He just had to keep telling himself that.</p><p>A mile and a half later, Greg let them back into his apartment.</p><p>While Nick closed the door and locked it, he noticed that his boyfriend was trembling from head to toe as he stared into space, breathing heavily.</p><p>"Greg?" He moved in front of him, cupping his face with his hands, smoothing his cheek bones with his thumbs.</p><p>"I'm ok."</p><p>"You just need to know someone cares. I get it," Nick said, bringing him into a tight hug. "When we get out of the shower we can work out a schedule, alright?"</p><p>It was more than alright and that fact was evident in Greg's shining eyes.</p><p>They'd never showered together before, and while Nick felt how erotic the situation could be, he understood that this time, there would be no sex. While the hot water steamed up the room, Greg stood stock still and let Nick methodically undress him and lead him under the spray. It was as if he were a zombie, or a puppet waiting for the puppeteer to pull on his strings.</p><p>Nick washed his hair, careful to keep his touch light and massaging. Beneath his fingers he felt Greg beginning to relax and once he was clean, Nick wrapped his arms around him and held him close, not wanting to leave the relative safety of the tub. His muscles tightened.</p><p>He would not cheat on Greg. He would not cheat on Greg. He would not...</p><p>"Nick?" Greg forced himself free of his embrace and turned to face him, his eyes ever critical as he searched Nick's face for meaning. "What's wrong?"</p><p>"Wrong?" Nothing was wrong. But the strangled sound in Nick's voice gave him away. And the last thing he wanted was to project his own insecurities on Greg. After everything he'd been through recently, he didn't need that.</p><p>"You were holding me in a death grip. You're not thinking about the scene are you? I'm ok. I'm just fine."</p><p>Nick shook his head. "It's nothing. Really."</p><p>"Is it the team split then?"</p><p>But Nick wouldn't tell him. It was just a stupid statistic. Nothing to get all worked up about. It meant nothing. Nothing at all.</p><p>Turning him around, Greg began to massage a small dot of shampoo into his hair.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nick awoke to a gentle shaking, having only just fallen asleep within the last hour. He'd spent the night cleaning while his wife and daughter slept. He'd done everything but vacuum and the thought of having to get up so early was just...</p><p>"Daddy!" a little voice whispered. "Daddy! It's Christmas!"</p><p>He blinked his eyes open to see his daughter standing before him. "Yeah, so it is pumpkin." He smiled and ruffled her hair. "What did Santa bring you?"</p><p>"Mommy said I hafta wait for you to open presents."</p><p>"Ok, ok, I'm coming."</p><p>Nick struggled out of bed and pushed himself to his feet. Feigning a stretch, he swooped down with his wiggling fingers and tickled Cara until she was giggling so hard she was almost crying.</p><p>"Come 'ere darlin'."</p><p>She let out a little screech as her whole body was lifted off the ground and carried down the hall. When they reached the livingroom together, Nick carrying her upside down by her ankles, they found Kristy practicing some new exercise thing she'd just gotten into.</p><p>Behind her, the Christmas tree was small, only a few feet high, stuck in a corner with only a few ornaments on it and one strand of lights. Kristy claimed anything bigger would be in her way and the lights were bad for her eyesight. Nick had only rolled his eyes and gone along with it to avoid a fight at the store. He and Cara had decorated it together one afternoon while Kristy was out.</p><p>His wife stopped exercising and allowed them to open their presents before breakfast. Nick figured they were just lucky, or maybe Kristy was feeling generous because it was Christmas. Whatever it was, he was going to do his best not to botch anything up.</p><p>Cara squealed when she opened her first gift from her father and found Eeyore waiting for her inside. "Yay!" She ran to Nick and gave him a big hug. "Now I can keep Eeyore happy!"</p><p>He smiled at her enthusiasm. With Pooh Bear already her best friend, he hoped when she was older she would remember this series of gifts as something special. Next year would have to be timid little Piglet.</p><p>Kristy handed him a small envelope and he opened it, already knowing what was inside. She'd renewed his gym membership for the year. Again. He thanked her, doing his best to sound as enthusiastic as his daughter had, and failed miserably.</p><p>He'd gone mall shopping for her, picking out a pair of earrings that hadn't set him back too much. He wanted her to think he cared, but not that much. He cringed inwardly, thinking of the small box sitting in his dresser that she would never see.</p><p>A few more presents were handed over to Cara before Nick handed her one last box, a little on the heavy side. He crossed his fingers behind his back, praying Kristy wouldn't have a heart attack. Cara ripped the paper off and stared at the letters on the box, unable to read what they said. She looked up at her father, confusion written all over her face, and pointed down at the picture of pancakes stacked on a plate, beneath the word Bisquick.</p><p>"What's that, Daddy?"</p><p>It broke his heart to know that his daughter had no clue what pancakes were. If his luck held out, he would be able to remedy that situation in just a few minutes.</p><p>"Nick!" Kristy was already fuming. "What the hell were you thinking buying her pancake mix?"</p><p>"It's Christmas, for heaven's sake! I thought I would make her pancakes for breakfast. There's nothing wrong with that!"</p><p>"Of course there isn't," sarcasm dripped from her lips. "Not for your apparent perfect body! Are you trying to get her fat? She will not eat that. Get that box out of the house!"</p><p>"I'm sorry sweetie. Maybe some other time." Nick gave his daughter a hug from behind while he managed to pry the box from her small hands.</p><p>Kristy got up from the couch with a huff and stormed off into the kitchen.</p><p>"I want pancakes," Cara said. "Do they taste good?"</p><p>"They taste wonderful."</p><p>"Then why can't I have them if they're good?"</p><p>"Just... because."</p><p>"What's fat mean?"</p><p>"Nothing, sweetheart. Nothing. Look, you got so many nice things. If you help me clean up all the wrapping paper maybe we can play with your Legos or something. Yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah!"</p><hr/><p>"Nick, I thought I told you to throw out that box. What's it still doing on the couch?" Kristy appeared in the doorway from the kitchen.</p><p>"Sorry. We got a little busy."</p><p>"Well, pick up this mess. I said she could have the Legos if she didn't create a mess all over the livingroom floor."</p><p>"Um... that's kinda the point of Legos. You can't really play with them without making a mess."</p><p>"Do I need to return them to the store?"</p><p>"What? Why are you being so negative on Christmas of all days?" Nick got up and left his daughter playing with her extra large Lego set to talk with his wife.</p><p>"I'm not being negative. I'm being realistic. We couldn't have a large tree because it gets in my way. She can't spread her toys all over the floor because they get in my way too. And you know pancakes are not healthy. I don't even know why you entertained the idea in the first place."</p><p>"Everything's always about you," Nick hissed. "You never think about anyone else but yourself. And you have this image of yourself that you project onto other people. You're afraid of getting fat, so you assume I'm afraid too. You've become afraid for Cara because she doesn't know any better. What are you going to do when she grows up and gets invited to birthday parties where they serve cake and ice cream? Huh? What then? Or at school when she trades her crappy lunch for some other kid's brownies? You can't keep controlling her like this! It's not healthy!"</p><p>"Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about."</p><p>"Always so high and mighty, aren't you?" Nick spun on his heel, picked up the box of Bisquick from the couch and stomped off toward their bedroom. He slammed it down on top of his dresser, where he stopped and tried to get a grip on his anger. If she'd been anyone other than his wife he would have hit her, and nothing would have held him back.</p><p>Trembling hands pulled open the top drawer and moved socks around until he found the small box hidden in the back. He fingered the dark leather, feeling the pain deepen in his heart, sharpening to a point. He didn't want to think about the decision he had to make, about the legal battles that would ensue if he chose to change anything in Cara's current life.</p><p>Making a quick choice, praying his daughter wouldn't hate him later in life for it, he threw on a pair of old jeans and a comfortable cotton button down shirt. He took the leather box from the drawer and carefully set it inside his kit from work. He found another bag to hide the Bisquick, and unplugged his cell phone. Flipping it open, he held it to his ear, picked up the bag and his kit and walked out into the kitchen.</p><p>Kristy was reading a magazine at the table.</p><p>"Yeah, Boss. Ok," he pretended to listen to Catherine on the other end of the phone line. "65 Tremont Street. Got it. I'll be there as soon as I can." He flipped the phone shut, and clipped it to his belt.</p><p>"I thought you had the day off?" Kristy asked without even looking up. "And tonight."</p><p>"I did. But there's a multiple traffic fatality, and they need everyone. Sorry."</p><p>"But it's fucking Christmas!"</p><p>"Yeah, it's Christmas. And you've been a bitch all morning. What difference does it make? At least I don't have to be around your attitude for awhile."</p><p>Kristy gave a snort and continued to read her magazine. Nick set his kit by the door, hiding the other bag between it and the wall. He found his daughter in the livingroom. She was still playing with her Legos, only now Eeyore was helping her.</p><p>"Why do you have to go to work?" she asked, her eyes large and pleading.</p><p>"Because they need me."</p><p>"Please come home. Mommy says most cops never come back home."</p><p>"Well, I'm not exactly a cop, but I promise you I'll come home. Just for you."</p><p>"Will you catch bad guys just for me too?"</p><p>"You'd better believe it, kiddo."</p><p>She smiled then, eyes shining.</p><p>"I love you, Daddy."</p><p>"I love you too." He gave her a big hug, followed by a kiss to the forehead before he left the house.</p><p>He wanted to scream at Kristy. How dare she tell her daughter cops almost never come home. But he kept his cool. It would do no good getting into another argument. Cara didn't need to grow up in a house full of fighting between her parents.</p><p>He took the Bisquick and stashed it in the glove compartment for safekeeping. While he drove he kept seeing a different picture of his livingroom. In it, a large tree sat in one corner, covered in ornaments and so many lights he thought he'd go blind, proper stockings hung from the fireplace mantle, and other holiday decorations only his boyfriend would buy. Sitting beside the tree, wearing pajamas and Santa's red hat, sat Greg, carefully handing Cara a large box, just one of many still under the tree. Wrapping paper covered the floor along with ribbons and toys, lots of toys. The whole room looked like a tornado had blown through it, but no one was complaining. Joy filled the house instead, calming Nick, until he realized he was on the road, headed in the opposite direction of Tremont Street.</p><p>Picking up his cell phone he hit speed dial and waited a moment, but the phone didn't ring on the other side. It went straight to voice mail. Rather than leave a message, he dialed another number he'd only looked up recently for an emergency such as this.</p><p>"Hello?" came a deep male voice from the other end.</p><p>"Yeah, hi, my name is Nick Stokes. I'm with the Las Vegas Crime Lab, and I need to get into one of your buildings. 45 Huntington Apt. 312, actually."</p><p>"What's this about? Can't this wait? It's Christmas, for heaven's sake."</p><p>"I'm afraid it can't, Sir. I'm very sorry to have to disturb you, but this is case related. I just need to do a search for evidence."</p><p>"Is this about one of my tenants? Should I be worried?"</p><p>"No, not at all. He's not a threat. Just a... a victim... I need to search his apartment. Would you be able to meet me there and let me in, please?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, sure, I'll a... I'll be right there."</p><p>Nick hung up as he swung into the parking garage. Sweat was already covering his forehead and he remembered he hadn't showered yet that day. He hoped he didn't smell bad.</p><p>He was waiting by the front door when a heavy set man pulled up in a small sedan and parked in front of the door.</p><p>"You must be the Crime Lab guy?"</p><p>Nick showed him his badge as verification.</p><p>"What's this about again? I'm a little confused."</p><p>"It's alright. He claims he was attacked by a man we have in custody, we just need to prove it. That's all."</p><p>"He couldn't give you his own keys?"</p><p>Shit. Nick thought fast. "He lent them to his girlfriend and I can't seem to reach her. She borrowed his car when he got to the hospital early this morning, and of course his apartment keys were attached to the ring."</p><p>"Right. Well, here you go." The heavy set man let him into the building and lead him up to the third floor. "Do you need me to stick around? I kinda got family stuff going on at home... you know..."</p><p>"No, I don't need you here."</p><p>"Just, promise not to steal anything, and lock up when you're done. Alright?"</p><p>"Sure thing."</p><p>The man unlocked the door and Nick slipped inside the dark apartment. Once he was sure the man was gone, he closed the door and locked it behind him.</p><p>Knees feeling weak, he set his case on the floor by the door, and collapsed onto the couch. He then began to berate himself for lying to the building manager. Stupid, stupid, stupid. If the guy was suspicious enough, he would check with the lab, and then he'd have to explain himself to Catherine. And how embarrassing would that be? How does one explain that they broke into their male coworker's apartment without outing him... both of them?</p><p>He looked around at the familiar shadows of the tv and the dvd collection along the wall. He remembered the afternoon he'd sat up in the kitchen wondering if it was a good idea to leave Greg with the important numbers for his daughter. He swivelled back around to face the hallway. Without having to think about it, he stood up, toed off his boots by the front door and made his way toward the bedroom at the back.</p><p>Upon seeing the familiar form in the bed, chest gently rising and falling in deep sleep, he felt himself instantly at ease. He'd done the right thing. He'd gone to a lot of trouble, just for this moment, for the rest of the afternoon and night, but this was where he needed to be. He felt bad leaving Cara with her mother on such a special day, but he'd done his best to spend time with her. As he undressed, he vowed to take her to the library and find other ways to have fun outside of their home where Kristy couldn't nag him about everything she felt he was doing wrong.</p><p>Sliding into bed he found himself drawn like a magnet to Greg's sleeping form. He wrapped an arm around him, breathing in the thick scent of his lover, and let it go in a sigh. Home. This was what a home should feel like. If he could do nothing other than hold Greg in his arms, he would be the happiest man on earth.</p><p>And what happy man cheated on his partner?</p><hr/><p>Nick blinked his eyes. Where was he? He rolled over and saw his clothes dropped in a neat pile on the floor. Oh yeah. He was alone, but delicious smells wafted through the small apartment making his mouth water. The black out curtains Greg had installed several years ago were still drawn shut, though no light shown at the edges like it had when he'd first arrived. The alarm clock on the other night stand said it was already 8pm.</p><p>He rolled back over again, bringing Greg's pillow closer to his nose. "If you want to fuck me, then fuck me already. You know I'll give you anything you want." Greg was so open to him it was amazing. He was open the way Kristy was closed and it was a relief to know someone so accommodating, so freeing.</p><p>Thinking of the box still hidden in his kit, he wondered if he'd already made his choice without actually knowing it. It wasn't right to keep stringing Greg along, to keep sleeping with him, to bribe his way into the man's apartment, if he was only going to stay with his wife in the end. But he didn't want to give Greg up.</p><p>If he did choose Greg over Kristy, he knew he'd have a lot of explaining to do, to a lot of people. How would he tell Kristy? Or his daughter, who was too young to understand any of it? And his parents? He had five sisters and a brother who would just as soon see him dead then see him with another man. He'd been raised to lie in the bed he'd made and he'd gotten Kristy pregnant, which meant he couldn't leave her unless she died. He would be risking everything he knew, everyone he loved, and that thought alone scared him.</p><p>And then there was work. He would also be risking both of their jobs if they came out to the lab. Common sense told him no matter how hard they tried to hide it, if they were really living together, taking care of Cara as two fathers, they would be found out and it wouldn't go over well.</p><p>The thought crossed his mind that perhaps this afternoon was the last time he would ever sleep with Greg. His gift was still true, however. Greg had made him happy, very happy. While Greg kept busy in the kitchen he could easily slip out the front door, leaving the small leather box behind where he would be sure to see it.</p><p>Something else came to mind just then: Greg. With a broken heart. He would understand, but it would still hurt him.</p><p>Still, Nick had moved from Texas to Las Vegas for one reason: to sow his own seeds, and spread his own roots. As the baby of the family he'd had a hard time escaping them. And even though he was past the age of thirty, they still often treated him like a baby. He couldn't let them walk all over him. He couldn't let them color his choices in life.</p><p>Greg was adamant that the choice of who Nick chose to live with, who Nick chose to love, was his choice, no one else's. And while he knew the choice Greg wanted him to make, Greg was doing his best not to influence him.</p><p>At least, Greg thought he was doing his best not to influence him. That enticing smell from the kitchen caught Nick's nose again, influencing him big time.</p><p>Today was Christmas, at least for another few hours, and he would not break Greg's heart on this day. He wanted to be happy, and he wanted Greg to share in that happiness. He'd deal with his parents, siblings, and other coworkers when, and if, the time came.</p><p>Flinging the covers back, he got dressed and made his way to the kitchen where soft Christmas music was playing on a portable cd player. Normally, he'd have his music blaring, but where Kristy only cared about herself, Greg was very caring of other people.</p><p>Nick wondered if he was dreaming. Greg stood at the counter, a spatula in hand, king of his domain. Food surrounded him. Literally. And it hadn't all just arrived from the grocery store either. Was that a freshly cooked turkey? Cranberry sauce? Mashed potatoes?</p><p>Greg turned with a smile to face him and walked over to greet him with a kiss. "Hey sleepy head. Merry Christmas."</p><p>Yeah, it was a Merry Christmas. For a brief moment he wondered how the year had gone by so quickly, but one look at the man in front of him and he knew the answer to his own question.</p><p>"Hey." Nick felt himself smile. If this was a dream he never wanted to wake up. "What's with all the food?"</p><p>"It's Christmas. This is what you're supposed to have on Christmas."</p><p>"But... you didn't exactly know I was coming."</p><p>"No, but I knew you'd be around sometime soon enough for me to cook you dinner. I was prepared. And I know, you're going to say it's a lot for two people, but don't worry. I've got plans for the leftovers: your lunch! You can bring it to work. Or rather, I'll bring it for you so Kristy doesn't find out."</p><p>"Please don't play housewife, G. It doesn't... I can't..."</p><p>"I want to. And you need better food than what I've seen you eat at lunch."</p><p>God, Greg was too good to him. Way too good.</p><p>"So, dinner's just about ready. You want to do gifts first? Or eat first?"</p><p>"Gifts?" They hadn't done this the year before. He honestly hadn't expected anything from Greg.</p><p>"Yes, gifts, Nick. You do still know what gifts are, don't you?"</p><p>His smile widened into a grin and he agreed they could do gifts first. Back in the livingroom Greg made him sit on the couch while he went rummaging through a trunk in the corner. He pulled out two wrapped presents. One, a small box, the other, something much larger and longer, with no definite shape.</p><p>"Sorry, I didn't decorate. It occurred to me too late that I didn't have anything and you know I didn't decorate last year."</p><p>"I'm surprised. That doesn't seem like you at all."</p><p>"I know. I never really had anyone to decorate for until now, and... I dunno. But next year, I'll do it up right." He handed Nick the small wrapped box.</p><p>"What's this?"</p><p>"That's known as a gift, Nick. See, I thought you'd forgotten."</p><p>"No, I meant... why did you get me anything? What did you get me?"</p><p>"Open it and find out. I can't tell you that, it'll ruin the surprise."</p><p>Nick carefully pulled the tape from the paper and brought out the white box. He lifted the lid and glanced inside, his eyes going wide. Two keys sat on the bottom, attached to each other by a simple key ring. His eyes flicked up toward Greg.</p><p>"Because of the shift split, since we don't work together any more, I thought you might want these. You can come over whenever you want, whenever you need to." Greg paused. "The funny thing is... I got a call from my landlord this afternoon."</p><p>Nick swallowed a lump in his throat, only it wouldn't completely swallow. His face heated in embarrassment.</p><p>"He told me that according to the police I was attacked in my own home, and that someone was in my apartment collecting evidence. He also wanted to make sure I felt safe enough to continue to live here, and to also make sure my attacker wouldn't have it in for the rest of his tenants. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you, CSI Stokes?"</p><p>His eyes fell to the floor between his feet, the carpet blurring as he stared. "I'm sorry, G. I tried to call, but you were sound asleep, and I just... I needed to see you."</p><p>A hand rested on his arm, offering comfort. "I'm not mad, you know." Greg chuckled a little. "I guess I should have given these to you on your birthday back in August, huh? Then you wouldn't have had to go through all that trouble."</p><p>"Thanks, G. This means a lot."</p><p>"I hoped it would." Greg handed him the second gift. "Read the tag. You'll tell me if I'm out of bounds, won't you?"</p><p>He read it: "To Cara. From Greg."</p><p>"Can I ask what you got her?"</p><p>"You said Winnie The Pooh was her favorite cartoon, right?"</p><p>Nick nodded, a new lump forming in his throat.</p><p>"It's one of the stuffed animals made to look like the original drawings. I didn't know which one to get so I chose Piglet."</p><p>He didn't... Greg didn't...</p><p>The hand still rested on his arm. Another hand cupped his face, thumb brushing at his cheeks where they were now wet.</p><p>"If you don't like the idea I can always take it back."</p><p>How could he explain... "Last year I got her Pooh for Christmas, and she was so happy, she cried. She loves him so much. This year... this year I got her Eeyore. And you know what she said to me?"</p><p>"What'd she say?"</p><p>"She said she'd get to keep him happy now because it always makes her sad when he's sad, you know? And she wanted to make him happy... and I thought... afterward I thought that next year... I would get her Piglet. That I would really make an annual tradition out of it until I ran out of characters."</p><p>"If you want to save it, you can take off my name and..."</p><p>"No. No, I couldn't do that. She'll love it. And she'll love you for getting it for her, for thinking of her."</p><p>Nick set the package down and pulled Greg's hands from his warm skin. "Wait here." He went to his kit, still sitting by the door, and brought back the leather box. He placed it in Greg's hand, holding it there while he spoke, "I'm not making any promises for the future, but after everything I've put you through, I felt you deserved something special, because you do mean a lot to me." He let Greg's hand go and watched him take the cover off.</p><p>"Nick..." Greg stared inside at the Titanium watch.</p><p>In place of the number twelve was the symbol of Wenger, the company that made the Swiss Army Knife. He reached in and pulled it out, noting that it also gave the date and told military time. Flipping it over in his hand he found the inscription on the back: "Thank you for everything." His fingers ran over the words, rubbing them as if feeling them there, seeing them, could make the world right, end world hunger, bring world peace. His eyes had gone somewhat glassy.</p><p>"How much did you spend on this?" He finally looked back up at Nick.</p><p>"I'll never tell."</p><p>"But it must have set you back a few hundred at least."</p><p>"Do you like it?"</p><p>"I love it."</p><p>"Then that's all that matters."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Mommy! No!"</p><p>Nick walked in the front door to hear his daughter half screaming and half sobbing from her bedroom. Dropping the bag he carried, he rushed up the stairs to see what was going on.</p><p>"You little bitch! I told you I was having company over for the afternoon. I told you to stay in your room and out of the way. And you didn't listen!"</p><p>When he reached his daughter's room he found his wife snatching up toys from the floor and stuffing them in a giant trash bag while Cara sat on her bed, feet dangling over the edge.</p><p>"How many times did I tell you to pick up this mess? Huh? How many?"</p><p>Tears streamed down the little girl's face. "I'm sorry! I won't be messy again! I promise!" She clutched Eeore to her chest, sobbing.</p><p>"What the hell's going on in here?" Nick asked, frightened of his wife's actions.</p><p>"What does it look like?" Kristy grabbed one of Cara's Legos from the floor and stuffed it into the bag. "Say goodbye to your precious toys."</p><p>Cara backed into the corner of her bed, watching her parents with wide tearful eyes.</p><p>"What are you doing, Kristy?"</p><p>"I'm filling up the garbage bin out front. What does it look like, CSI Man? I told her if she misbehaved this would happen."</p><p>"This is a little extreme. Don't you think? If she really did something wrong, maybe take them away for a day or two. But... what you're doing is just..."</p><p>"I just got lonely, Daddy. Eeore can't talk to me. I don't think he's very happy here."</p><p>As soon as her mother had moved out of the way, Cara bolted off the bed and ran straight to Nick, clinging to his leg while sobbing into his jeans.</p><p>"Hey, now, it's alright to get lonely sometimes. Why don't you tell me what happened?" Nick hoisted her up and set her down on his hip, her arms encircling his neck.</p><p>"I went downstairs to ask Mommy when you were coming home. She got mad at me, and yelled at me."</p><p>Nick glared at his wife as she started to pluck toys off the book shelves once the floor was clean. The trash bag was already over stuffed.</p><p>"And why'd she yell at you for that?" Nick did his best to keep his voice soothing to the girl while he shot daggers at Kristy.</p><p>"Her friends aren't supposed to know about me. She says they won't be her friends ever again because of me."</p><p>Nick turned to face his wife, half shielding his daughter from her. "How could you do that?" he asked, barely able to mask the emotions bubbling up. "Do you know what you've done to her?"</p><p>"I told her if she misbehaved this would happen. And I clearly told her what I expected of her. All she had to do was stay up here in her room for a few hours."</p><p>"She's only three and a half, Kristy! You can't leave her alone for that long!" Nick became aware that his knuckles were turning white as he clutched his daughter. He loosened his hold. What he failed to notice was the loud thunk of the garbage bag as it hit the floor. Before he even had a chance to blink, Kristy's hand shot out and punched him right in the face. He whirled around, surprised more than anything else.</p><p>"Don't you dare tell me how to raise my child!" Kristy seethed. "This is all your fault!"</p><p>Nick turned his back on her and started walking down the hall. "Come on, honey, let's go for a walk in the park. Ok? You'd like that wouldn't you?"</p><p>Cara only buried her face in his shirt without a response. Feeling his own chest tighten at the situation she'd been put in by her own mother, he ignored the dark clouds forming over head and left his truck in the driveway. Walking off his anger, he decided, would be better than letting it fester in the truck on the way to the park.</p>
<hr/><p>Finally. The apartment was clean. Greg finished scrubbing the stains from the couch and threw the rag into the kitchen sink as the rain continued to pour from the sky in stinging torrents. Stains on the couch... just thinking about what he'd cleaned up reminded him of the take out he'd ordered with Nick. The take out they'd never gotten a chance to eat because Nick was a beautiful hunk when he was naked. Especially when he was naked and congratulating Greg on finally passing his proficiency. Oh yeah. That had been one hell of a wild ride. If only there was more than one proficiency he needed to pass in order to become CSI. Maybe then, he'd get even more beautiful sex.</p><p>He realized his jeans were straining at the crotch and sucked in a huge breath. He'd made himself hard in a matter of seconds. And there was no one around to help him out. It was either do it himself, or do his best to forget about his predicament. He sighed. He still wanted Nick to take him and fuck him, but he told himself he wouldn't force the issue. Nick would do it when he was ready. And besides, it wasn't like they couldn't do other things to turn each other on and get each other off. He always enjoyed their time together, no matter what they were doing, and he had a strong feeling Nick felt the same way. Eyeing the Wenger Mountaineer watch on his wrist, he knew he was right. Nick had spent a fortune, and one didn't do that unless they had good reason.</p><p>A knock on his front door made Greg jump. Who would be calling on him now? Perhaps it was his landlord wanting to change the batteries in the smoke detector. It wasn't the time of year for the biannual bug inspection. He looked down, groaning at the erection still straining to escape his pants. What could he use to hide it? He darted into the kitchen, grabbed a clean dish, ran it under the tap, and reached for the dish towel.</p><p>He approached the door, holding the wet plate partially with the towel, letting the rest of the material hang down in front of him. Doing his best not to blush, he opened the door.</p><p>"Nick?" Standing out in the hall, he found a sopping wet Nick, clutching the small hand of his daughter. "Come in. Come in. Let's get you both dried off." Greg put the wet dish on the kitchen counter and went to get two thick bath towels from the hall closet. Making a detour to his bedroom he grabbed a clean t-shirt from the closet. "I know you have a second key. Why didn't you use it?"</p><p>He handed Nick one towel while he knelt on the floor to rub Cara's wet hair. Even as she stood there and let him dry her off, her eyelids drooped heavily.</p><p>"Because I didn't come alone, and I didn't want to surprise you. I'm really sorry, G. I didn't mean to intrude like this."</p><p>"Don't worry about it. You know my home is always open to you. Answer me one more question?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Greg helped Cara out of her wet clothes and pulled the extra large shirt over her head, the short sleeves on Greg were long on her, covering her clammy hands. He picked her up and set her down on the couch.</p><p>"What were you doing out in the rain? Since my parking lot's covered, I know you didn't drive here."</p><p>Nick's chin hit his chest as he stared at the floor. "Things got nasty at home. Kristy's pissed off and all her yelling was upsetting Cara, so I took her on a walk to the park. I didn't know it was going to rain. And when it started, there was no where else we could go. Kristy will be mad for a long time. I'm sorry. I didn't want to bring all this horribleness into your happy day, but this was the safest place I could think of. I'm sorry. Really."</p><p>Greg approached Nick, cupped his face in his hands, and placed a quick kiss to his lips. "You are safe here and I'm glad you know that. You don't have to be sorry for anything. Now, go get changed. You both need some sleep." He followed Nick into the bedroom to get an extra blanket and pillow for Cara.</p><p>Returning to the livingroom he got Cara settled on the couch. "We didn't get to say hello earlier," he commented, pulling the blanket up over her little body.</p><p>"Tired."</p><p>"Yeah I know. Hey, you want to watch cartoons until you fall asleep?"</p><p>"K."</p><p>Greg turned the tv on and tuned it to a good channel for children. By the time he left the room her eyes were already closed.</p><p>"What if she tells Kristy?" Nick asked, already in bed.</p><p>"Tells her about what?" Greg stripped down to his boxers and climbed in beside Nick.</p><p>"I brought her here. I'm sleeping in the same bed with you. You kissed me out there in front of her."</p><p>Finding warm skin waiting for him, Greg's erection was quick to return now that Cara wasn't in the room with them.</p><p>"I wouldn't worry about it. She's only three and a half after all."</p><p>"And smart."</p><p>"Just like her father."</p><p>Studying Nick's face, he could have sworn the skin color was off over one of his cheekbones. But in the dim light, he couldn't be too sure. He forced the unwelcome thought out of his mind. Nick was fine. Whole. Here in bed with him, and ready to get down to business. There was no doubt about that.</p><p>Greg let his hand roam over the tented sweat pants beneath him, leaning in to press a needy kiss to Nick's lips.</p><p>"G..."</p><p>"She's sound asleep. With the tv on. She won't hear a thing, long as you can be quiet."</p><p>Nick was breathing heavily as Greg tugged at the sweat pants and yanked them down past his hips.</p><p>"Been thinking about what you did to me on the couch yesterday... so fucking hot."</p><p>Nick rolled him over onto his side, kicking the pants off, and helping Greg out of his boxers at the same time. A large, warm, hand ran down his chest, fingers brushing over nipples. His stomach swirled with butterflies as the hand splayed over tight muscles and went lower. A hard knee and thigh pushed between his legs, opening him, spreading him. Fingers spread him even further as Nick nestled closer against him, his wiry black hair tickling Greg's oversensitive skin. Nick's thick cock fit lengthwise into the cleft of his cheeks and he rubbed himself into Greg, dragging a low moan from his mouth directly into Greg's ear.</p><p>Taking Nick's free hand, Greg guided it onto his heated cock and Nick obliged, already knowing what he wanted. He let out a grunt of pleasure and clenched his cheeks around his lover. Nick trembled, groaning, shifting behind him to bring them both to a workable rhythm. Greg bit his lip, to keep from calling out.</p><p>"Oh fuck."</p><p>"I know it's not what you really want but..."</p><p>Greg gasped, as Nick's hand twisted around his member. "...so hot... You can do anything you want to me."</p><p>Nick picked up the pace, using his knee to open Greg wider, stroking him harder, dragging his own cock between Greg's cheeks with more pressure.</p><p>"You really like this?"</p><p>"Yes. Oh God... please don't stop."</p><p>Nick let out a chuckle. "Wasn't planning on it. Need you too."</p><p>A second hand joined the first between his legs, touching him, stroking, fondling, as Greg jerked, arching his back, wanting more.</p><p>"Nick... Nick... gonna..." He was coming before he knew it, spreading wet heat over Nick's hand and his own stomach.</p><p>His ass cheeks clenched tighter around the cock ensconced between them, as Nick rode out his orgasm. The muscles in Nick's arms tightened around him, and he felt his release only moments later. Reaching around him, he grabbed Nick's ass and pressed him closer, dragging the orgasm out of him slowly, until he was empty and had relaxed against him.</p><p>"Did I congratulate you on passing your proficiency yet?" Nick asked, still breathing hard.</p><p>"Yes, you did. Many times in the lab, and yesterday was... amazing. Who knew you were that good on a couch? You're too good to me."</p><p>"No, you're too good to me."</p><p>Nick took his leg from between Greg's and Greg rolled over to face him. The kiss they shared was warm and sweet, just the kind of kiss he'd always dreamed about sharing with someone special after sex.</p><p>"I don't want to sleep. Just want to hold you."</p><p>"Suggestion?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"We shower, strip the sheets, then you can hold me in bed."</p><p>"Love it. But let's leave the door open incase Cara needs one of us."</p><p>"You got it."</p>
<hr/><p>The water sluiced down on both men as Nick finished rinsing Greg's hair. Greg cleared his eyes from the water droplets threatening to sting his retinas and turned around to return the favor.</p><p>The spot just over Nick's cheekbone was definitely changing color. He'd had his suspicions, but now he was sure. The pasty yellow color was quickly giving way to purple. Greg gently brushed his fingertips over it, noticing how Nick flinched ever so slightly at his touch.</p><p>Things got nasty at home... This was the safest place I could think of...</p><p>"She hit you, didn't she." It wasn't a question.</p><p>"No." Nick had trouble meeting his eyes.</p><p>"You didn't have this when you left work yesterday."</p><p>His boyfriend sighed, the quiet sound barely heard above the water pelting the tile.</p><p>"You couldn't do anything to defend yourself, could you."</p><p>"She's my wife." Nick rested his forehead on Greg's shoulder, as the pain in his voice reached Greg's ears.</p><p>"She didn't hurt Cara, did she?" Fear at that thought, flooded Greg's senses and almost knocked him out.</p><p>"No. No, she didn't. Thank God."</p><p>Cold relief jerked his body and he sucked in a breath of moist air. His face felt hot, but whether it was due to the water or the fact that he was upset, he couldn't tell. Just like he couldn't tell whether the drops running down his face were only water or actual tears.</p><p>"Nick..." He tried to say something about how worried he was for both Nick and his daughter, but no words would come out. He grabbed the shampoo bottle and poured some of the soap into the palm of his hand before working it into Nick's hair.</p><p>If Nick had been a woman he would have insisted she get professional help, that she move out of the house right away. But this was Nick. He was strong at times when Greg couldn't be. He knew what was clearly happening, and he'd seen many women in the very same position. He'd talked to some of them, told them to seek help for their abusive husbands. He knew the facts, knew what could happen. Maybe Kristy wasn't very abusive physically. But she was abusive in so many other ways. That was no way for a child to grow up. No way for a man to live.</p><p>Greg didn't want to see Nick get hurt by any means. He just couldn't say anything to him. He'd told Nick he wouldn't sway him so many times over the past year and a half, and now, all he wanted was to be able to talk some sense into him, to tell him how much he...</p><p>His arms dropped from the lather on Nick's head and engulfed his body in a tight hug, holding them as close together as he possibly could. If only there was something he could do...</p>
<hr/><p>It was weird how everything came together that day, even though Greg had seemed upset at finding the bruise. Once they'd gotten back into bed redressed with clean sheets, Nick held Greg while he read a new novel about a gay cop with the ability to talk to dead people. He read parts of it over his lover's shoulder, sometimes giving him a light kiss here or there. It felt good. Normal. Almost as if they already were a family.</p><p>"Can I borrow some of these novels of yours sometime? I'm not getting the whole story reading them like this."</p><p>"Feeling a little deprived?" Greg looked over his shoulder. "Should I get naked again? You know they say the real experience is even better than just reading about it." He winked.</p><p>Nick let himself smile, despite the bad joke. "Yeah, maybe I am a little deprived. But certainly not deprived of sex, real or imagined. Not with you around." He gave Greg a kiss to his bare shoulder.</p><p>"Of course you can borrow my ereader." Greg turned and shared another kiss. "Anytime."</p><p>Only two hours later Cara came bounding into the room, not seeming to care or notice that her father was holding another man in bed where her mother should have been. She was wide awake from her nap, and complaining that her clothes were still wet.</p><p>Greg put his ereader away and got up. "I should have put them in the dryer earlier. Nick, you want to make something for dinner while I go do that? I'll throw yours in too."</p><p>In the kitchen, Nick searched the cupboards for something he knew how to cook. Greg was getting better and better at cooking every day. Sometimes he arrived to find him watching the Food Network on tv, studiously taking notes. Other times he was on the phone with his mother talking about a dish he was preparing.</p><p>Just like Nick's family, Greg's had no clue he was actually cooking for someone else. His mother kept asking him when he planed to settle down with someone, though it didn't seem to matter who he settled down with. Greg tried to explain that he was settled down. He had his own place now, even if he was still renting, and he was happy with that. But she didn't seem to get it.</p><p>"Ah!" Nick grabbed the box of Bisquick and brought it to the counter. This he could do. And here, he wouldn't be ridiculed for it.</p><p>"That's my Christmas present!" Cara noted with enthusiasm.</p><p>"Yeah, it is, sweetheart. And this, is what we're gonna have for dinner. But you've got to promise me something." He knelt in front of her, taking her shoulders in his hands, just as Greg returned from the laundry room in the basement. "You have to promise me you won't tell Mommy what we had for dinner. Can you do that?"</p><p>"Yeah! Mommy's mean sometimes."</p><p>"Yeah, I know."</p><p>When he stood up, he noticed the arched eyebrow on Greg, and pointed to the pancake mix.</p><p>"Ah." Greg knew enough about their home life to understand without an explanation, and for that, he was grateful.</p><p>While Nick was busy flipping pancakes, Greg took Cara into the livingroom and kept her busy with a guessing game until dinner was ready. He carried her into the kitchen and set her down on a chair. Her nose touched the table.</p><p>"Nick, you want to grab some of my text books from the shelf in the livingroom while I set the table?"</p><p>"Sure thing."</p><p>When her father returned, Greg picked her up, impressing her with his one arm wrapped around her middle. She giggled, watching Nick set several thick, hardcover chemistry text books on the chair. Greg set her back down.</p><p>"Now, you be careful up there, sweetie," Greg warned. "We don't want you falling off, so try not to move around too much. Alright?"</p><p>"Ok."</p><p>Nick put a pancake on her plate, cut it up for her, and poured maple syrup over the top. Both men watched her stuff a slice into her mouth. She tasted it for a moment, letting it sit on her tongue before her eyes lit up in wonder. She was quick to chew and swallow, stuffing another slice in her mouth.</p><p>"That's good!"</p><p>"I'm glad you approve."</p><p>"Mommy's stupid."</p><p>"Hey, don't talk about your mother that way." Nick sighed. "I might agree with you, but it's still not nice."</p><p>After the dishes were done and Cara was settled in front of a movie playing on tv, Greg pulled Nick aside for a quiet conversation.</p><p>"You know she doesn't seem to notice a lack of estrogen around here. She's acting like this is normal, like this is her real family."</p><p>Nick could only nod in agreement.</p><p>"I'm trying not to influence your decision making on purpose, but I need to say this... I wish this was her real family, Nick. And I mean that. I really do."</p><p>Their eyes locked and he saw nothing but sincerity in Greg. He had to ask himself why Kristy couldn't be like this, why she had to be such a bitch at times.</p><p>"Daddy?" He turned to the sound of his daughter calling his name, but saw nothing except one big blur in front of him. He blinked his apparent tears away to see her standing at his feet, looking up at him. "Why are you crying?"</p><p>He picked her up and she wrapped her small arms around his neck.</p><p>"It's a long story, honey. Maybe some other time I'll tell you."</p><p>"If I can make Eeyore happy, maybe I can make you happy too. Do you think so?"</p><p>"I know so. Say, that movie didn't finish already, did it?"</p><p>She shook her head. "Come watch with me? It's a happy movie!"</p><p>"Why don't we all watch it together," Greg suggested.</p><p>Cara sat between the two men on the couch, Greg's arm resting comfortably around Nick's shoulders.</p><p>"Hey," he whispered into Nick's ear. "Next time you come over, you should bring some toys with you. All I have is what's on tv."</p><p>"You're acting like this will become a regular thing."</p><p>"Well, seeing you is a regular thing."</p><p>Nick rested his head on Greg's shoulder, a smile on his face. He could do toys. He could definitely do toys. "But can I still see you alone sometimes?"</p><p>A soft kiss landed in his hair. "Of course. You know I need you alone just as much as I need my family time."</p><p>His smile turned into a grin. If he could never leave this moment, he wouldn't.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The ebook that Greg is reading is called Among The Living by Jordan Castillo Price and it's the first book in her Psycop series. It's fantastic, and I highly recommend it. You can easily find it on Amazon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nick had tried to talk to him. When he got back from finishing up his case, he'd said hi as they passed each other in the hall, but Greg had only mumbled something in return and otherwise ignored him.</p><p>Wanting the case of the dead journalist over, he hadn't gone home right after his shift ended, but had stayed to finish up the paper work. Being in that bar, forced into almost using his gun, he remembered what it had been like his first few years in the Dallas Police Department. He remembered chasing down crooks, almost losing his life before choosing the slightly safer career of a CSI. He didn't want to die then, and he certainly hadn't tonight, not with a daughter, and a lover he deeply cared about. With his adrenaline pumping he was wide awake all night, going over and over what had happened while he wrote out his report.</p><p>Even at the end of Greg's own shift he still wouldn't talk to him. Nick had made him coffee, which he accepted silently, like an automated teller taking money for a deposit. Nick was a little concerned. Greg wasn't one to keep his mouth shut like this.</p><p>Had he done something wrong? Or was there something else going on in Greg's life he didn't know about? Perhaps he'd run into Kristy and they'd gotten into an argument. Whatever it was, he didn't have a clue unless Greg talked to him, and unfortunately, he had to wait until they were both off the clock.</p><p>As he approached the apartment door from the elevator, he prayed Greg wasn't trying to dump him. Maybe the watch had been too much. After all, he was still tied to someone else. Maybe having that constant reminder on Greg's wrist wasn't a good idea.</p><p>Not bothering to knock, he unlocked the door and let himself in. He found Greg in the livingroom, sitting on the couch and staring into space.</p><p>"G?"</p><p>Greg neither spoke to him or looked at him. He was lost in another world, another time. Nick knelt in front of him, gently taking his cold hands and holding them in his warm ones.</p><p>"Hey, G? Can you talk to me? What happened? What's wrong? Did I do something?" As he spoke, his mind raced with yet more theories on Greg's reason for silence, but he wasn't prepared for the answer he got.</p><p>"I don't know... I'm... scared," Greg said, eyes blinking. "I'm trying to be strong here. I know this is the career choice we both made, but... I never dreamed it would be so hard."</p><p>"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" Now Nick was just plain confused.</p><p>"I heard what happened at the bar. Some rookie cop was boasting about how you took control of the situation and... and... well, how things looked real bad before you started yelling and waving your gun around."</p><p>Nick nodded, finally understanding what was going on.</p><p>"I'm an adult, and I have the same job you do, but I'm terrified of losing you." Greg finally looked up at him, tears streaking down his face. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't feel this way..."</p><p>"Why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for." Nick carefully wiped his tears away. "How do you think I felt when your lab exploded? I didn't even know you liked me, but I was scared shitless."</p><p>"You were?"</p><p>"Yeah. Remember the night you found the little boy by the dumpster?"</p><p>Greg nodded. "How could I forget?"</p><p>"When I got to work the following day, Hodges couldn't shut up about how you almost got killed on the job, before you'd even passed your proficiency. I was ready to cream him. I was so glad you'd called the night before, even if you did wake me up in the middle of the night, just to tell me what happened. I didn't want to have to hear that from someone else. I went into the lab knowing you were ok. I wasn't nearly as scared for you as I could have been.</p><p>"Look, I'm ok. You're ok. We're both ok." Nick rested his forehead against Greg's. "Let's make a deal. If anything happens, anything at all, either in the lab or out in the field, we'll call each other. That way we won't have to hear it from someone else first and we'll know if the other's ok or not."</p><p>"What if someone catches on and figures everything out?"</p><p>"I hope bad things don't happen often enough for someone to figure us out. But that being said, there are enough tough crime scenes out there that I want you to call me if you think you need to. Even if I'm in the middle of an interrogation with the Sheriff I'll answer. Would that make you feel better? I know it would make me feel better."</p><p>"Yeah. Yeah, it would. Thanks."</p><p>"Ok." Nick gave him a soft kiss before standing up and pulling Greg into his arms for a hug.</p><p>He couldn't ever imagine leaving this beautiful man for someone else, even if he had the chance.</p><hr/><p>Nick had to admit the Psycop novel Greg had been reading awhile back was pretty good. Better than he'd been imagining. Two cops were falling in love and he was drawn to their scenes together just as much as he was drawn to the rest of the novel.</p><p>He found himself wishing the Las Vegas Crime Lab had someone in their department who could talk to the dead. It sure would make it that much easier to find the bad guys. On the other hand, he didn't want it to be him. Not unless Greg could be there to hold his hand and keep him sane.</p><p>No, not even then. The last guy he'd ever known face to face, who could do weird shit like that, had died in his own house. Skip the medium. He'd just have to solve crimes the old fashioned way.</p><p>"Nick!" Kristy interrupted his thoughts from the hallway. "I'm borrowing your car."</p><p>Well, at least she had the decency to give an announcement, even if she didn't ask first. Keys jangled on the key rack by the front door, but two seconds later she was in the livingroom, a scowl on her face. Shit. What had he done now?</p><p>"You've got two new keys on here." She held up the keys to Greg's apartment. "What do they go to? Who are you banging that I need to know about? Because you and I certainly haven't done anything in nearly four years."</p><p>Nick was on his feet, facing her, in an instant. "What the hell, Kristy! Those are for work!"</p><p>"Oh." She looked somewhat disappointed.</p><p>She'd bought the lie, but it still left a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach even after she'd left the house. He hated the idea of her driving around in his car with the keys to his lover's apartment, even if she didn't know what they were for. When she got back he would snatch them up, put them in his pocket, and never take them out again unless he needed them. Those were Greg's personal gift to him, and he'd be damned if he lost them.</p><hr/><p>Sliding the results from the GCMS into a brown folder, Greg looked at his Wenger watch, still amazed Nick had even thought to go that far, and realized it was their break time. When he'd arrived at work Nick said he would be working an entire extra shift again, and they'd quickly determined they would be taking their fifteen minute breaks together, without even having to think about it. Greg missed this part about work. But finding the routine again so easily felt good, almost like riding a bike. Life was good like that.</p><p>Making his way to the breakroom he was glad to be the first to arrive. He made two cups of his famous Blue Hawaiian coffee and sat down at the table with both mugs after rehiding the bag. He didn't have long to wait until Nick arrived and sat down across from him, gratefully taking the mug he was offered.</p><p>Nick slouched in his chair, stretching his legs until he'd found Greg's under the table. They sat together, ankles pressed against each other, in a comfortable silence. Being together like this was important to them, no arguments about anything, no discussing cases. They were thankful for the time they were given to be together, and made sure nothing, to the best of their abilities, ruined it.</p><p>Not that they'd had a discussion about it. It was a silent agreement between them, but one Greg rather liked. Knowing they were on the same page without having to actually say it out loud, talk about it, and finally agree, felt nice; Felt like coming home from a rough storm at sea.</p><p>Once their peaceful fifteen minutes had passed, Nick carefully untangled his legs from Greg's and stood up.</p><p>"My turn," Greg said, reaching out to take Nick's mug.</p><p>Nick handed it over. "I've got your ereader in my locker. I'm afraid... well, you know... I don't need anyone finding it and figuring out what I'm reading. Would you mind if I read it at your place?"</p><p>"You already know the answer."</p><p>"Thanks, G."</p><p>The door opened and Warrick came in, looking haggard and worn out.</p><p>"Tough case, man?" Nick asked.</p><p>"No other way to put it. Listen, Cath wants to see you. I have a feeling she's going to switch you to my case. I need all the help I can get."</p><p>"Alright, I'll go see what she wants. Greg, I'll catch you later. Yeah?"</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>Greg turned to the sink and began washing the mugs as the door closed quietly behind Nick, leaving him alone with Warrick.</p><p>"Don't think I don't know what's going on."</p><p>Greg froze, hot water turning his hands red.</p><p>"I know Nick's been spending more and more time with you. You know, he used to spend a lot of time hanging out with me. We'd go to bars, cruise chicks together. And then he hooked up with Kristy and all that changed." Warrick took a few steps closer to Greg, his loud footsteps ringing in Greg's ears, even with the water running. "I expected it to. I ran with it. It's what happens when you get married and kids arrive. But then he and you started to hang out a lot. And that's when I started to notice it. It took awhile, I'll give you that much. You sure do know how to hide it."</p><p>Greg finally turned around, unsure what he was supposed to say. Nick wasn't there and he had no right to out him.</p><p>"Hide what? I have no idea what you're trying to say."</p><p>"You're gay, or bi, I don't care which, and you have a crush on him." He pointed an accusing finger at Greg.</p><p>Shit. What was one to say to that? Well, when he thought about it, Warrick was wrong. He used to have a crush on Nick. But technically, a crush only lasted so long. He was well beyond a crush now. Plus, his feelings were returned...</p><p>"You're wrong. I don't have a crush on Nick. That's a little juvenile, don't you think? To be accusing people of things like that?"</p><p>"Maybe if we were in another situation. But we're not. Nick's married. He's got a family. Don't go and ruin it. That's all I'm saying. Keep your feelings to yourself. He's worked hard to get where he's at, and I don't want anyone tearing that apart."</p><p>Did he already know about them? There was a good possibility he did but didn't want to come right out and say it.</p><p>"I care about him," Greg stated. "I do not have a crush on him. There's a huge difference. If you don't believe me, go look it up in the dictionary." He brushed past his coworker and slammed the door after him.</p><p>Stumbling down the hall he made it into the men's room without anyone noticing. Seeing himself in the mirror, he looked awful. His eyes were already red rimmed and he had yet to shed a tear.</p><p>He knew the definition of the word 'care' and it was a lot more damaging than anyone would imagine without looking it up. It left almost no room for someone to care about anyone else in a friendly manner. Not if you were sure there was a possible crush involved. Shit. How would he tell Nick? He would have to, though. This wasn't something he could keep from him. What if Warrick got to him first? They were working the same case now, weren't they? They would have plenty of time to talk, and if Warrick was already that worried about him corrupting Nick then of course he would say something.</p><p>Corrupting Nick. What if he was? What if... if he'd pushed Nick away in the beginning, maybe things wouldn't... He sighed. It didn't help that he was still working in the lab a lot, even after he'd passed his proficiency. Couldn't he do anything right? He should have come out to Nick before he'd met Kristy. He could have. Then they wouldn't be in this mess.</p><p>Running water in the sink, Greg splashed some on his face, hoping to get rid of the terrible look resting there.</p><p>No. He wasn't corrupting Nick. Nick had come on to him first. He had tried to resist the older man, knowing he had a family. Nick had corrupted him. Nick needed him. Kristy wasn't giving him what he needed so he'd turned to Greg. It was that simple. Only he couldn't go and explain that to Warrick because Nick had trusted him with his problems at home. There was a reason no one else knew he was married to a witch.</p><p>Thinking back to the night he'd babysat Cara in the lab, Greg remembered how much Nick had wanted to tell Warrick about their relationship. Even back then Warrick had suspected something was up. Nick had been so upset he was willing to risk everything he had to let the world know he was gay and his marriage wasn't working out.</p><p>But when Kristy had purposely bruised him, he'd lied about it to his coworkers. They all thought his marriage was picture perfect. Knowing that, hurt. What Greg wouldn't do to be able to tell the world something was wrong. But he couldn't.</p><p>He couldn't tell Nick what had happened either. Nick would only fly off the handle and do something stupid. Greg had to protect him from himself, to protect their relationship, and hold Nick together.</p><p>Drying off his face, he prepared to get back to work. Complaining to himself about his problems in the bathroom wasn't going to help anyone, or get any work done.</p><p>"Oh, Greg!" Catherine exclaimed when they nearly bumped into each other out in the hall.</p><p>"Sorry, Cath. Lost in my thoughts."</p><p>"Yeah, me too. Hey, do you know what's going on with Nick?"</p><p>Oh no. Somehow she managed to find out. Maybe the whole lab knew already. Who had Warrick told?</p><p>"He doesn't seem to be himself lately, and I'm not sure what's up. He refuses to talk about it. But since you two seem to hang out a lot, I figured you might know something. Has he said anything to you?"</p><p>Was she actually concerned about Nick's welfare? Someone finally noticed... finally...</p><p>"I... he hasn't said anything to me. Sorry, Cath. He's kinda private about a lot of stuff."</p><p>"Hmm, yeah, I figured. I thought maybe there was someone... He needs to talk to someone. He's married to a nagging bitch." Her hand flew to her mouth, her eyes going wide. "Um... I didn't say that. Greg, you never heard me say that."</p><p>"Say what?" He was just glad someone else had finally noticed there was something wrong. "Look, I've gotta get back to work. I'll see you later."</p><p>"Right... right..."</p><hr/><p>Nick met Greg in front of the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes from their early dinner, pulled him into his arms, and pressed a kiss to his lips. "I hate swing shift," he murmured.</p><p>"Me too."</p><p>Nick kissed him again. "I don't want to go."</p><p>"But you have to. Go on. Get out of here."</p><p>"One more kiss for the road?"</p><p>"You're such a girl," Greg said with a smile. But he granted Nick his wish. "Mmmm." Nick managed to sneak his tongue into Greg's mouth until he was gently pushed away. "Go. Before Catherine chews your head off for being late."</p><p>Once Nick was gone, he abandoned the dishes and headed back to bed to catch up on his sleep. But before he could even crawl into bed something shiny caught his attention from the nightstand: A gold wedding band.</p><p>Sliding out of his pajamas he quickly donned a pair of dirty jeans from the laundry basket and his favorite Metallica t-shirt, not caring that he hadn't showered and probably smelled like sex. He rushed to the lab, in hopes that he would arrive before Nick had a chance to get in the door. But as he pulled up beside Nick's SUV, he found it empty.</p><p>The receptionist gave him a funny look as if she hadn't expected to see him there at that hour, dressed as he was. As he passed her he looked down at his pants only to discover that he'd chosen the pair with the huge chocolate stain on the front of his right thigh. Seeing the stain only reminded him of his little escapade with Nick the other day. His mouth watered at the thought. He could only hope Nick was easy to find. No one else needed to see the stain and ask how he'd gotten so much chocolate on himself like that.</p><p>Peering though the window to the breakroom, the only person there was Warrick, sitting with his back to the door. Swing shift lab techs were hard at work, some filing reports, others running tests, mixing chemicals. Nick wasn't in any of the labs. He slipped into the locker room, praying if he was there, that he was alone.</p><p>His luck held.</p><p>Nick was sitting on a bench, loading his gun. He looked up when the door shut. "G?" He got to his feet and holstered his weapon, concern written on his face.</p><p>Greg took his hand and pressed the gold band into it. Nick closed his hand over Greg's for a brief moment, before sliding the ring onto his left ring finger.</p><p>"I've got a scene out in Henderson. I've gotta get going."</p><p>"Stay safe."</p><p>"I promise."</p><p>The exchange was over in less than a minute. Learning how to forge ahead without Nick, Greg turned, and headed back to his car, praying that something would happen to bring the team back together again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That last line should be a big hint about what's coming. Greg might regret that wish coming true…</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the most part, the bar was quiet. Greg looked around the small, hole-in-the-wall place, grateful for that quiet. Thinking back, it had been awhile since he'd been in a bar. A long while. The last time he would have been unhappy at being able to hear the soft clinking of glasses and idle chit chat among the patrons. But this time, years later, he had to applaud Bobby Dawson's choice of a place where they could have a serious conversation and where no cop was likely to walk in and overhear it.</p><p>"He's brought her over a few times," Greg said taking a sip of his beer. "And yeah, I really do like that. I feel like I finally have the family I've always wanted but never realized I wanted. I never saw children in my future before. Just a husband I thought I would never get."</p><p>"How does that feel, to finally get what you've wanted?" Bobby was smiling from the other side of the hidden booth.</p><p>"Well..." Greg pondered the question. The obvious answer was right on the tip of his tongue, but another was right behind it. "It... I love it... but, at the same time, I don't know what this will do to Cara. I'm worried. Nick hasn't said anything about making his decision. At the same time, we can't keep going on like this, especially if we're including Cara. Just give her another year or two and she's going to understand everything that's going on. And then what? She's still so young. She understands that she can't talk about me when she's with Kristy, but, someday she'll slip and say something. Aside from that, it's just not the way for a child to live."</p><p>Bobby nodded and gulped down the last of his own beer. "While she's with you and Nick, how is she? I mean, does she accept you as another parent? Does she really like you?"</p><p>Greg grinned. "Yeah. She totally does. She listens to me like I'm some God or something. I've never had that in a kid before. I would do anything for her Bobby. Anything. She's such a sweetheart. All she wants is for everyone around her to be happy. And she tries so hard."</p><p>"Maybe that comes from her home life?"</p><p>Greg shook his head. He couldn't go there with him. Again, Nick had told him things that no one else...</p><p>"I know what's going on, Greg. There's no point in hiding it. I promised you I wouldn't say anything to anyone and I won't. But you need to understand that I know her life isn't as good as it could be. Neither is Nick's. Maybe some of his other friends and coworkers don't want to see it. But I do."</p><p>Greg looked up in surprise. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"That bruise he got awhile back... that didn't come from a bar fight. Did it?"</p><p>Unwillingly, he shook his head.</p><p>"I didn't think so."</p><p>"I worry about him so much. Sometimes I feel like I'm being overwhelmed by it. If he's not trying to be the hero at work and nearly getting himself killed, he's at home with Kristy, and... if he won't retaliate against her and Cara's too little to fight back... I just wish making this decision was easier for him. I would feel better. I know that much. Tell me, what was it like for you? I wish I could read his mind, that he would talk to me about this. I'm trying not to sway his decision making, but it's hard. And I can't help him if he won't talk to me."</p><p>"Mary didn't become abusive or violent, so I don't know if I can say what's going on in Nick's mind. When I discovered Jack, and we'd figured things out, I went to Mary and had the talk with her. Essentially I broke up with her. She felt better about herself, actually, about us, when I came out. For her, it meant the bad sex wasn't her fault. She almost laughed, said it was just like her to end up married to a gay guy. We parted on good terms. Thank God. So my kids do get to see her on occasion. She moved back to New Jersey to be with her family and for the most part the kids live with Jack and I."</p><p>"You make it sound so easy."</p><p>"It really wasn't. Mary was a good mother. She loves our children. That's what made the choice so difficult for me. As for Nick, I really can't say what's keeping him there. I wish I could say that if I were him I would have left ages ago, but I can't. Something, perhaps some form of guilt or something, is keeping him there. Maybe once you figure that out, you can help him with his decision."</p><p>"Maybe."</p><p>"You also have to consider that he's from Texas. That's the deep south and his family is pretty prestigious in Dallas. For them, it would be a crime if one of their children ever came out as being gay and in a relationship with another man, especially while he's married with a daughter. That might be another reason he can't commit full time to you. It's a hard line to walk. You've had it easy your whole life growing up in California. He hasn't."</p><p>Greg stared down into his empty glass. He didn't want to admit that Bobby was right. But he was right. And that just added another layer of difficulty to everything.</p><p>"Warrick keeps giving me the evil eye, every time I see him. He thinks I'm trying to corrupt Nick into liking me and leaving his family."</p><p>"He just doesn't know what Kristy's really like. That's all."</p><p>"I know, and that's what bothers me. I wish Nick could just come out and tell everyone, but, I know he can't. Bobby..." Greg looked up at his friend, feeling lost and tortured inside, as if someone had grabbed hold of his heart in a tight grip and twisted it until it couldn't pump his blood anymore. "I don't know what I'm gonna do if he doesn't make a decision soon. I don't know how much longer I can hold out."</p><p>"Look, I know you're trying to let him make his own decision and I know I said that was a good idea, but Jack and I have been talking recently, and we think it's time for an intervention. Things have gone too far. He needs to see what's going on. He needs to realize that the life he's living right now is no longer safe and adequate for himself and for his daughter. He's putting her life at risk. If you really care about him as much as you say you do, then you need to step in and take some action."</p><p>"I want to do something. I've wanted to for so long... I just don't know what to do."</p><p>"At least talk to him for starters. If you need backup, Jack and I will be right behind you. Sometimes it takes several people all at once to help someone see the truth. He's holding out for better days, but they're not going to come if he stays with her."</p><p>"But he doesn't even know you know... and he doesn't know Jack. Won't that just..."</p><p>"It'll be fine. Hey, I figured both of you out on my own. You didn't have to tell me anything, so you're not at fault here. And, I think once he sees our somewhat similar situations, and sees that we all care about him and his daughter, I think he'll come around."</p><p>Greg took a shaky breath, wanting to trust his friend, but still unsure how everything would play out in the end.</p><p>"It can be done, Greg. But it won't be easy."</p><p>"I'd do anything for him. I swear to God I'd die for him if I had to."</p><p>"Next time you see him, talk to him. Voice your concerns and be truthful about it. Tell him how worried you are. This won't take just one conversation though. You'll probably have to revisit the topic many more times. But tell him you have friends who've been in a similar situation. If you can gently suggest there are others who will back him up and support him, it might help."</p><p>Greg slowly nodded. He could do this. He needed to. For Nick. For Cara. For himself. For all of them, as a family. He had to.</p><hr/><p>Greg changed into a fresh pair of jeans and a new t-shirt as Catherine walked into the locker room. Nick was planning on following him home so he could get some proper sleep after pulling a double with his supervisor. He sat on a bench, ready to go, looking like he was going to fall over. He'd been stretched thin, between his family, Greg, and working a different shift from his lover. At least when he was at Greg's, he got good sleep and good food to keep him going.</p><p>"Hey, Nicky, tell Cara I said happy fourth birthday, will you?" Catherine asked.</p><p>"Sure thing."</p><p>Greg left the building first, Nick following close behind. When they'd reached the parking lot, Greg whirled around with a smack to Nick's face.</p><p>Nick just stood there, eyes blinking as he tried to comprehend what had just happened.</p><p>"It's her birthday and you're not going to spend it with her?"</p><p>"She's at daycare."</p><p>"So her mother isn't even spending the day with her? You didn't even tell me it was her birthday!"</p><p>"Well..."</p><p>Greg opened his car door. "Get in."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Get in. Now."</p><p>Nick did as he was told. Sitting in the passenger seat of Greg's Jetta, he looked a little uncomfortable as Greg pulled out of his space.</p><p>"Tell me how to get there."</p><p>Nick sighed and began giving him directions to her daycare.</p><p>"She needs to have a cool birthday. You can't just leave her hanging."</p><p>"I'm sorry. Kristy and I had a fight about it... about what we were going to do."</p><p>"Well, here's what WE'RE going to do. We can check out the Tangiers for their aquarium, grab lunch there too. They have a little ice cream shop in there. After lunch we'll, drop her back off at daycare, head back to my place and you can get some sleep before work. How does that sound?"</p><p>"Sounds perfect. Thanks. I really need..."</p><p>"You need to grow a backbone. No offence. But you're not doing a very good job standing up for what you want with her." Taking a deep breath, Greg realized he felt better after having gotten that off his chest.</p><p>Nick stared at his hands folded in his lap. "Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I'm unconsciously trying to tell myself something."</p><p>Greg glanced over at him and their eyes locked for a second. "Maybe you are. And maybe you should be listening to your conscious. We're here."</p><p>Inside, Nick introduced Greg as his coworker to Diana, the daycare owner, and explained why they were there.</p><p>"Oh, of course she should get to spend her birthday with you! Will Mrs. Stokes be joining in the festivities?"</p><p>"Oh, um... well..." Nick stammered.</p><p>"She had to work today, so I'm kinda filling in," Greg jumped in.</p><p>"That's good. She could use some positive reinforcement in her life. Let me go get Cara. I'll be right back."</p><p>"Uh, G? What did she mean by that?"</p><p>"It means exactly what you think it means, but don't want to acknowledge. Just shut up about it for right now. We can talk about it later, but not in front of Cara."</p><p>"Daddy!" The little girl came bounding into the room, giving her father a warm hug, and the smile that filled Nick's face was enough to power the universe.</p><p>She turned to Greg, arms open wide and he accepted her hug with a smile of his own. "Hi Greg!"</p><p>"Hey there, kiddo. And how are you doing?"</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>While he talked to Cara, Nick asked about borrowing a car seat from Diana. "I forgot to get hers from my car," he explained when Diana went to get one.</p><p>"Not like I gave you an opportunity. Sorry about that."</p><p>In a matter of no time they were headed toward the Tangiers, explaining to the little girl what their plans were for the day. The moment she heard about the aquarium, she began jumping up and down in her car seat as much as she could while clapping her hands.</p><p>"See? I told you this was a good idea."</p><p>Nick was continuing to smile. This was a very good idea.</p><p>Greg paid for three tickets and Nick bought three ice cream cones.</p><p>"Isn't it too early for ice cream, G?"</p><p>"Not when it's her birthday. Besides, she'll be going back to daycare later so you can get some sleep, remember?"</p><p>When Cara saw the first fish in the gigantic tank she nearly lost her ice cream as she squashed her face against the glass to watch the orange fish float by.</p><p>"Thank you for this," Nick said, as they watched her run around, excited.</p><p>"Don't mention it."</p><p>Her father ended up holding onto her cone and eating it before it could melt all over his hand. She was more interested in the fish than the ice cream, each new amazing color that swam past grabbing her attention.</p><p>"Oh! Oh! Daddy! Look!"</p><p>"Yeah, I see that, honey," Nick said, keeping his eyes on her, but also on the crowd around them, as if he were expecting to see someone he knew.</p><p>Greg reached out to take his hand and ensure him that no one would recognize them, but pulled back in time before he could actually make the move.</p><p>"If you really care about him as much as you say you do, then you need to step in and take some action."</p><p>If he could muster up the courage he would sit Nick down the moment they got home and have that important talk with him, if only so he could eventually hold his hand in public without having to worry about someone seeing them.</p><hr/><p>An hour later while Greg waited outside the bathrooms with Cara, he felt himself growing more and more nervous. Without Nick there to be nervous for him, he was taking over the job for both of them, keeping his eyes peeled for anyone who looked even remotely familiar. Holding the small hand of Cara, who stood by his side, waiting for her father to return from the bathroom, he could feel hers slipping from the sweat of his own.</p><p>"Sanders?"</p><p>Greg whirled around to see Warrick with a beautiful woman. She left his side and headed into the bathroom as Warrick looked between Cara and Greg.</p><p>"Um... hi... yeah... um..." His heart began to pound erratically. Was sweat dripping from his forehead already? How scared did he really look? "I was just here waiting for a friend of mine, and I ran into Nick, who asked me to watch Cara for a moment. Yeah."</p><p>Warrick's eyebrow went up. "How come I don't believe you?"</p><p>"Sorry, I'm just so nervous. I don't want it to look like we're together, together. Like, you know, gay or something. Cause we're not. And it would only get us both in trouble, and... Nick would hate that."</p><p>"Tomorrow, when you get into work, I think you and I need to have a little talk." Warrick loomed over him, his eyes squinting at Greg as if he would just as soon squash him like a bug than have a talk with him.</p><p>The door behind Greg opened and a figure stepped through. "Hey, G, do you mind if we..." Nick stopped mid-sentence when he saw Warrick.</p><p>Quick thinking had Greg turn to face him. "I still haven't seen Jeremy," he said, pretending to search for the mystery friend. "Since he seems to be late, and he's not answering his phone, I'm gonna guess he found a girl. You mind if I hang out with you two for the rest of the day? I mean, I got out of bed for this, you know?"</p><p>"Then why don't you go back to bed," Warrick said, a little heat in his voice.</p><p>"No, no. It's alright." Nick jumped to his defense. "We're just gonna be wandering around here for awhile. If you don't get bored, I'm sure Cara won't mind."</p><p>"Thanks Nick." Greg made sure to give him a warm smile, doing his best to get rid of the deer in the headlights look on Nick's handsome face.</p><p>"So, Warrick, what are you doing here?"</p><p>"Just taking my girl for a nice breakfast out on the town. You?"</p><p>"It's my birthday!" Cara finally spoke up. "I came to see the fish!"</p><p>"Well, did you now? You like the fish?"</p><p>"I want a fish! Daddy? Can I get a fish? I want a whole tank of them!"</p><p>"Oh, I don't know about that, sweetie. I think you're going to have to talk to your mother about that one."</p><p>"Awwww."</p><p>The beautiful woman who'd arrived with Warrick appeared from the bathroom and he introduced her to his coworkers as Tina, his latest in a long string of girlfriends, yet the one he'd been with the longest so far. Both wished Cara a happy birthday before they parted ways.</p><p>Greg sighed in relief once they were gone. Going jogging with Nick in public was nothing like hanging out at an aquarium. The whole fish scene, complete with his daughter, was so domestic, rather than buddyish.</p><p>Jogging buddies, Greg reminded himself. In public, off the clock, they were nothing but jogging buddies.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nick had learned well, as a rookie officer with the Dallas Police Department, how to hide his emotions. While sometimes they were so overwhelming there was nothing he could do, most of the time he was good about keeping them in control. By now though, Greg knew all the signs that pointed toward an impending break down. Just after they'd parted ways with Warrick and Tina, they began to show themselves and when he and Nick had reached his apartment Nick was already fidgeting in the passenger seat, even while his eyes were closed.</p><p>Greg turned the engine off but didn't get out of the car. "You want to talk about it?"</p><p>Nick didn't say anything for a long time. Nor did he make a move to get out of the car either. Greg sat with him, keeping his own thoughts to himself. He knew if he said anything about Warrick's veiled threat, Nick would take action and it wouldn't end well. He had to learn to stand up to Warrick, care for Nick, yet keep their relationship under wraps better at work. At the same time, he needed to take Bobby's advice and try to help Nick see that his relationship with Kristy was damaging to him and Cara. Now was as good a time as any if they were going to have a serious conversation, and if he wanted to save Nick and Cara, there was nothing else to do but start talking.</p><p>"I'm faking everything, for everyone," Nick blurted into the silence, followed by a shaky sigh.</p><p>Startled, Greg asked, "What do you mean?" He was the one who was supposed to start the difficult conversation. Not Nick.</p><p>His hands had turned to fists, as if to control his emotions. Perhaps even he knew he was</p><p>going to have a breakdown if he didn't do something to calm himself. Greg watched his</p><p>jaw line tighten.</p><p>"What do you think?" Nick sounded stressed out and upset. "I'm attempting to live two different lives and you're the only one who knows the truth about anything. It's killing me. I don't think I can keep this up. I hate it. I hate Kristy. I never loved her, and the longer I stay with her, it's not gonna help. I know that." He paused for a moment, then said, "I think I should get a divorce."</p><p>"Are you sure?" Was he really saying what Greg thought he was? His heart began to pound harder again, in excitement... happiness. Maybe he wouldn't have to have that conversation after all.</p><p>"I never told you, but she found your apartment keys once and asked who I was doing on the side."</p><p>Greg sat up, eyes zeroing in on Nick's face. He looked cool and calm, but his eyes were locked on a piece of dust on the dashboard, and his voice was wavering slightly.</p><p>"I covered it, told her they were for work. I think she believed me, but she's not stupid. She may be a bitch most of the time, but she's not stupid. If she hasn't figured it out yet, she will soon. I'm..." Nick swallowed a lump in his throat, his Adams apple bobbing hard. "I'm scared shitless of what will happen when she does find out for real, especially when she finds out it's you, and not another woman."</p><p>"Nick, if she doesn't care how happy you are, or how happy her own daughter is, then she's not worth your time. To be truthful, I've been worried about both of you. I want you to be safe at home, and happy."</p><p>Still staring at the same piece of dust Nick said, "You're so good with her... but I don't want... I'm scared I'll hurt you... " his words trailed off into an uneasy silence.</p><p>"Huh?" When had this come up? And why hadn't Greg realized this was something obviously blocking Nick's decision making? "You're scared you'll hurt me how?"</p><p>"I saw a statistic on the news that said most men who cheat on their wives will go on to cheat on the new woman once they've divorced the wife. I don't want to hurt you that way." Nick spoke to him, but he still wouldn't look at him.</p><p>"You won't, Nick."</p><p>"How do you know?"</p><p>"You're not naturally promiscuous. If you were, there would have been a score of women before I came along. Besides that, you're old fashioned. You actually believe in things like true love, which is very admirable in a man of modern times. But you obviously didn't find it when you married Kristy, so your instincts still have you on the hunt for it. That's all."</p><p>Nick could only blink as he took in his boyfriend's words.</p><p>Greg reached out, took the man's chin in his hand and forced Nick to look at him. "I'll do anything to make you happy, anything to make Cara happy. Whatever you want, I'll do it."</p><p>"You would? You really mean that?" Nick was suddenly a lot closer than he had been.</p><p>"Yes." Greg struggled to draw a breath of oxygen into his lungs. When had the air gotten so dense? "Nick?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>Soft, warm lips brushed against his, Nick's breath colliding with his own. The kiss deepened in an instant leaving his mind hazy with want and need.</p><p><em>"Tomorrow, when you get into work, I think you and I need to have a little talk..."</em> Warrick's voice echoed, unbidden, in Greg's mind. <em>"Keep your feelings to yourself. He's worked hard to get where he's at, and I don't want anyone tearing that apart."</em> He pulled away from Nick.</p><p>"Greg?"</p><p>He found himself staring into his lap. How could Warrick do this to him? Didn't he see how much Nick needed him? Why did he have to be so negative?</p><p>"What just happened? You were right there with me and then...?"</p><p>Greg shook his head. "Nothing. I'm sorry."</p><p>"Warrick said something to you, didn't he?"</p><p>"No. Let's just go upstairs."</p><p>Nick didn't move. "I know he talked to you that day he caught us having coffee together but he wouldn't tell me what he said. Will you tell me about it? If there's anything I can do... if he's causing you trouble, I can talk to him, get him to lay off you."</p><p>"He thinks I'm going to ruin your perfect marriage because I have a crush on you... oh God... what if I... what if I did..." He didn't want to think he'd corrupted Nick, but there was still the chance he'd done something unconsciously that let Nick know he liked him as more than a friend and coworker.</p><p>"You didn't do anything. I never did care about her. Not even the one night we had sex."</p><p>His dream was becoming a reality and all of a sudden it didn't seem right. Greg turned to stare out the window at the car parked next to his. He wasn't anything special. Why Nick would choose him, over someone else, someone more good looking, he wasn't sure. He turned his right hand over, palm up, and fingered the small scar that remained there from the explosion. He'd done everything he could for Nick because... because he cared about him. And maybe, just maybe, the more he did for him, the less likely Nick would be to care about the scars, to even notice how ugly he was.</p><p>"What do you need?" Nick asked, rubbing a hand over Greg's shoulder.</p><p>"What's that supposed to mean?"</p><p>"From me. You've been taking care of me a lot lately, making sure I don't go insane for the past two years. I don't feel like I've done nearly enough for you and I'm sorry for that. What do you need from me?"</p><p>"Nothing. I told you." Greg pulled away from him and got out of the car.</p><p>Nick followed suit, and met him at the trunk. He reached out and wrapped an arm around Greg's waist, pulling him close, even as Greg tried to break free from his tight grasp.</p><p>"I'm not ashamed to be with you. I never should have been. If I'd asked you out the first moment I saw you, none of this ever would have happened. And I wanted to, but I was still too scared of my sexuality to do anything about it." Nick walked them to the front door, pulling his keys out of his pocket and letting them into the building. "You helped me realize what I really want in life. You did that, G."</p><p>But by the time they'd reached his apartment door, another nasty memory was playing games with Greg's mind. "I hit you," he said, as Nick let him in and closed the door behind them. "Oh God, I hit you..." He was horrified at the thought. "I'm turning into Kristy..." He turned away from Nick as his eyes filled with tears. Dear God, what had he done? How could he have done such a horrible thing?</p><p>"I deserved it, Greg." He heard Nick take a step closer and then his arms were wrapping around him again, holding him close. "I needed you to knock some sense into me. You were right. I need to do something about my life and I can't let her keep all the control. We're miserable together, and I know if it's not affecting Cara right now, it will down the road. She needs a real home."</p><p>Greg shook his head. He'd wanted this for so long. Was it really possible that Nick could divorce his wife and... and... No. No, it couldn't be. Kristy was much prettier. She had perfect skin, hadn't been blown to bits. Nick would be better off with her, then he wouldn't have to worry about the rest of his family every time Greg went out to a crime scene. Oh, why was he thinking these thoughts? Wasn't his goal to save Nick and Cara, his family, from Kristy?</p><p>Nick turned him around to face him and placed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Stop thinking like that. It'll only get you into trouble later."</p><p>How was it that Nick could read his mind so well? Especially when he was being negative? A lone tear slowly rolled down his face, but Nick's lips stopped it in its tracks.</p><p>"I'm really not anything special to write home about," Greg tried, unsure why he was pushing Nick away. "I'm just me. Not good looking by any means. Not a hero. I haven't done anything special, or cool, or anything."</p><p>"It's what's inside that counts, G. Haven't you heard that before? You've got the biggest heart out of everyone I know... except maybe Cara's. The two of you will have to battle that one out and you might just tie the battle in the end anyway. And what do you mean you haven't done anything special? Sure you have. You've been there for me every time I needed you. You gave me the strength to continue on when I thought all was over. That's who I would call my hero, if he'd let me." Nick kissed him again, their tongues colliding in Greg's mouth.</p><p>Before he knew what was happening, his clothes were being discarded on their way down the hall toward his bedroom. Nick stopped him in front of the full length mirror. Standing behind him, he wrapped both warm, strong arms around Greg's naked torso and pressed a kiss to his neck.</p><p>"Look at that," Nick whispered, pointing toward the mirror.</p><p>Greg looked. Compared to Nick he was hardly muscled. And where Nick was so handsome he had women lusting after him, he, Greg Sanders, looked so geeky, no one wanted to step within three feet of him. To top it all off, one nasty scar wrapped around his hip from his back, reminding him of what he couldn't see. However, despite all of his flaws, he was half hard already and he hadn't even been touched yet. Nick had the great ability to do that to him. Otherwise, what was there to look at?</p><p>"You're so handsome and beautiful." As Nick talked, his left arm held Greg tight across the chest, while his right hand roamed over his body, making him tremble, making him need to be touched even more. The warm hand slid down his smooth stomach, down past his hip, and over his thigh.</p><p>He let out a whimper at the touch, his need growing more and more evident as the seconds ticked by. It didn't help that Nick's nude body was pressed into his back, his erection bulging into his crease.</p><p>"See? Very handsome, just like I told you."</p><p>"Mmmm." Greg squirmed, arched his back as Nick's hand swirled over his thigh and came back up and over his hip. "Please," he begged. "Oh God, please touch me!"</p><p>"Only if you agree with me that you are good looking."</p><p>"I'm a horny geek. Though since the erection is all for you, I guess that would make me good looking."</p><p>"I'm not talking about that." Nick placed a kiss on his shoulder.</p><p>"What? You don't like my erection?" Greg sounded shocked, though he knew Nick would see right through his stupid joking.</p><p>"I meant the whole you," Nick whispered as he licked Greg's neck up behind his ear. "Not just your cock, though that is a very nice sight to see."</p><p>Greg shivered, moaning. "Please." He hated it when he had to beg. But loved it too. "Please make love to me."</p><p>"Not until you admit that it's you, the whole you, from your little toes up to your crazy ass hair, and everything on the inside, that turns me on."</p><p>Nick's thick cock shifted in the cleft of his ass. He squirmed, adrenaline rushing through his system, his heart pumping so fast and so loud he could barely hear anything else except Nick's heavy breathing in his left ear.</p><p>Greg nodded. It had to be true. Didn't it? Nick had been with him this long. He had seen him at his worst right after the explosion and had stuck around to take care of him. Or was this just his erection talking? He wasn't sure, but he was going to go along with it because at the moment it seemed he had no other choice.</p><p>Nick's lips met his skin just below the back of his neck where the largest scar marred his body before guiding him over to the bed. Together, they collapsed on the mattress, lips lost in a firm lock, tongues sliding together. Greg didn't notice Nick was fumbling for something in the nightstand drawer until a bottle and a condom wrapper appeared in his line of sight.</p><p>Nick broke the kiss. "You asked me to make love to you and I want to do it right this time."</p><p>Greg gaped at him.</p><p>"Turn over," Nick gently ordered.</p><p>On his stomach, he was prepared for a finger in his ass and was surprised to feel hands on his shoulder blades, smoothing his rough skin, massaging his damaged back. The warm hands swirled low before sliding back up, as those beautiful lips found scar after scar and kissed each one as if he was kissing them away forever.</p><p>He hadn't been expecting a massage out of Nick, and he was surprised at how sexy it was, how safe and comfortable it made him feel. He was in good hands and he knew it. Nick cared about him. There were no other words for it.</p><p>One hand left his skin, while the other paused, flat on the center of his back, grounding him to the fact that Nick hadn't left him and wasn't planning to.</p><p>An audible pop brought Greg's attention to the supplies Nick had taken from his nightstand. If it was possible, his erection seemed to grow tenfold just at that sound alone. Greg let out a low moan.</p><p>"Nick..."</p><p>A cool, wet finger finally arrived at his ass, pushing inside, even as he clamped down on it from the chilly lube. His heart caught in his throat. Nick continued to spill wet kisses over his back, while one hand spread his legs as wide as they would go, opening him for a second finger. He whimpered, his need rubbing against the bedding while Nick's fingers moved in a quick rhythm, eager to let another part of him take their place.</p><p>The fingers left him and while he knew what was coming, he was unprepared for the thick girth of Nick's cock teasing his hole.</p><p>"Oh God..."</p><p>"You want me to stop?" Nick paused, mid-thrust, hands cupping his cheeks, opening them further. "Just tell me."</p><p>"Don't you dare!"</p><p>Nick chuckled and thrust himself in a little further.</p><p>"Shit."</p><p>"You ok?"</p><p>"Oh yeah."</p><p>He could feel the gentle pressure of Nick's cock on his sphincter muscle and willed himself to relax, even as his nerve endings caught on fire within his body. The second ring of muscles loosened and his boyfriend was suddenly filling him to the brim.</p><p>"Oh!" He found himself gripping the sheets, his knuckles white, even as Nick remained unmoving within him, letting him get used to the feel of his cock.</p><p>The moment Greg began to breathe easy, Nick pulled out and he was at a loss for words, a hiss the only sound to escape his lips.</p><p>Greg managed to push back, and within moments they'd set a fast paced rhythm. Oh, how he'd needed this! Tingles ran up his spine making him shiver and tremble in Nick's grasp as Nick fucked him hard and fast. Trying desperately to keep himself upright on all fours, Greg gasped, as Nick's hand reached around and took hold of him, pumping him to the rhythm of their bodies.</p><p>Without warning, his orgasm shuddered through him and he shot into Nick's hand, his muscles clamping tight around the shaft inside him. Nick let out a long moan while he was held tight inside his lover. Ready to collapse onto the bed, Nick held him up and continued to thrust into him for several more minutes until Greg felt liquid heat burst forth, filling him as Nick cried out.</p><p>When he was empty, Nick carefully lowered both of them back onto the mattress.</p><p>They rested there for a moment, letting their breathing synchronize and Greg pressed a kiss to Nick's neck. "Are you sure about this?"</p><p>"About what?" Nick's arm draped over him.</p><p>"About the divorce. We should to talk to Grissom if you are."</p><p>"Griss? Why?"</p><p>"He should know, Nick. Even if we are on different shifts." Greg rested his head against Nick's chest, running the palm of his hand along his boyfriend's torso. Greg didn't think he'd ever felt any closer to the other man.</p><p>"I'm sure about it. But, I don't think I can tell him."</p><p>"If we're going to be together on a permanent basis, he should know. He'll be ok with it. And you know he won't freak out. Not like Ecklie."</p><p>Nick's eyes slid closed.</p><p>"We can talk to him together. I wouldn't make you go in alone. I promise."</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>Greg thought back to Bobby and what he'd told him. Taking a leap he said, "You know, if we do this, we won't be the only... well, I know someone who used to be in the same position you are."</p><p>"You do?" Eyes flew open. "Who?"</p><p>"I can't say. I promised not to out him. But I can tell you that he did divorce his wife, and is now living with his husband who adopted his two kids. It's been ten years since his divorce and he says he's the happiest he's ever been."</p><p>"Really?" Nick's eyes were beginning to water.</p><p>"Really."</p><p>Nick rested his chin against the top of Greg's head. "Ok," he said, letting out a rush of warm air across his hair.</p><p>Greg reached for the phone on the nightstand and started to dial a number.</p><p>"You're going to call him now?" Nick jerked upright, staring at Greg.</p><p>"The sooner we get this over with, the sooner you'll be able to relax, and the sooner things will return to normal."</p><p>"G, I can't relax. Nothing will return to normal. You're asking me to come out to my boss and admit I've been sleeping with a coworker, basically cheating on my wife for the past two years!"</p><p>Greg's thumb hovered over the last digit. "This is what you want, isn't it? You do want to live with me full time, right? And you want me to adopt Cara, correct?"</p><p>"Yes!"</p><p>"Then this is just part of the process." Greg hit the button and put the phone to his ear, listening to it ring.</p><p>"Grissom."</p><p>"Hey, Griss, it's Greg."</p><p>"Greg? What's up?"</p><p>How did one try to explain this to their boss? Now was not the time to clam up! Dang it! "Well, um, see, I need to talk to you about something. Nick and I do, actually."</p><p>"Nick?"</p><p>"Yeah. Um, would it be ok if we met between shifts in your office?"</p><p>Greg's hand found Nick's and held it in a tight grip.</p><p>"Sure, I don't have a problem with that. But, can I ask what this is about?"</p><p>"It's um, it's kinda personal. And really important. I'd rather not say over the phone."</p><p>Grissom seemed taken aback by his non-answer. He was slow to reply. "Alright. Is 11:30 tonight ok?"</p><p>"That's fine. I'll let Nick know and he can tell Catherine when he gets in. Thanks Griss. I really appreciate it."</p><p>He turned to face Nick after hanging up and told him the news.</p><p>"I don't think I can do this, G. What if Catherine asks what the meeting's about?"</p><p>"You don't have to tell her. It's ok to talk to Grissom before you come out to her, you know."</p><p>Somehow Greg managed to get Nick out of bed and underneath the spray of hot water in the bathroom. His plan was to get him clean and put him to bed for a few hours before he needed to be at work. However, even under the invigorating shower, Nick seemed a little out of sorts. He stood there, letting the water pummel him, as he stared at the cream colored tile.</p><p>"Kristy's going to flip out," he finally spoke, his voice sounding hoarse. "Never mind the rest of my family. Fuck. What if I lose Cara?"</p><p>"Why would you lose her? I don't want to really say anything here, but it seems to me that Kristy doesn't care much for either of you. But that's just my opinion." Greg squirted some shower gel into the palm of his hand and began to work it over Nick's back, kneading the knots that had formed under the skin, letting the soap work itself into a nice lather.</p><p>"It doesn't matter how she feels, whether she cares or not. Even if she doesn't want Cara, my parents would sue for custody of her."</p><p>"Can I ask why?"</p><p>"I married Kristy because to my parents, that's what you do when you get a girl pregnant. Even if you hate her. That's what they drilled into my head. They would rather kill me, than let me be with another man, especially if I'm going to bring Cara into a gay relationship. That's just how they are. They would be the ones to take her away from me and raise her themselves. They wouldn't let me near her. I don't want to admit this... but I'm scared to tell them."</p><p>Greg left a kiss on his shoulder. "If what we have is real, we'll make it through this in one piece. Together." He reached around to wash his chest.</p><p>Nick's body began to tremble. He was crying, trying desperately to control himself, even as he grabbed Greg's arms, and hung on for dear life. Greg only held him closer, tighter, letting him get everything out, hoping and praying their meeting with Grissom would go well. He needed this so bad, yet he knew Nick had more on the line. He had to be the strong one, and it wouldn't be an easy trip. For either of them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His ass hurt. But it was a good kind of hurt. It reminded him of Nick's final decision as he entered the crime lab. Every time he thought about it his heart rate sped up a little bit. This was really going to happen. He and Nick were really going to move in together and take care of Cara like a real family. His family.</p><p>As if on cue to ruin his good mood, Warrick's voice threatening him came to mind, and his nerves went bonkers. He couldn't say anything about the divorce. But then, what did he say when he saw Warrick? He would only have to get to Nick first, to make sure at least some part of the truth was out before he ran into the other man.</p><p>He moved quickly, almost in a flat out run, to Grissom's office, hoping Nick would already be there waiting for him.</p><p>But the office was empty.</p><p>He turned, expecting his boyfriend to be hiding out somewhere in the lab, in need of some coaxing, but was met with Grissom's worried face instead.</p><p>"Greg? Thank God you're here."</p><p>"What's wrong?" He was already on alert. "It's about Nick, isn't it?"</p><p>"He's been kidnapped."</p><p>Greg's heart dropped into his stomach. "How? Who? Why?" The questions spewed forth before he could even think about them.</p><p>"I don't know. I'm just glad you're here." Grissom spun on his heel and walked quickly back down the hall, leaving Greg to stare after him.</p><p>When he caught up to his boss, Grissom was in the A/V lab, watching the street cameras over Archie's shoulder. The supervisor talked to the lab tech for a moment and then was gone again.</p><p>From the corner of his eye, Archie caught sight of Greg and motioned for him to sit down.</p><p>"What happened?"</p><p>Archie told him all he knew. Nick had gone out to a crime scene and disappeared. Both Catherine and Grissom had been called out to the scene to find Nick's vest and other items laid out like a presentation.</p><p>Greg wilted at Archie's words.</p><p>Warrick came in not too long after and Greg's heart sped up again, but he ignored the one time lab rat in favor of news Archie might have from the video cameras, which wasn't much.</p><p>Greg didn't leave the room even after Warrick was gone. He didn't know where else he should go and Archie seemed to be doing the most in order to help find Nick.</p><p>It occurred to him that he'd found out about the kidnapping from Grissom. Perhaps Nick had tried to call him, to let him know something was wrong. He pulled out his cell phone and checked it for messages.</p><p>There were none.</p><p>Greg clutched his phone, knuckles turning white, praying the situation wasn't as bad as it seemed to be. If only Nick would call him, he'd feel instantly better.</p><p>But his phone stayed silent.</p><hr/><p>An hour later everyone spilled out into the hallway as Hodges wrestled a package away from an innocent delivery boy. Greg stood back and allowed Grissom to take the package into a lab, alone. All he wanted was to know where Nick was and if he was ok.</p><p>No, he wanted his boyfriend back, safe in his arms, where he belonged. Damn hero complex would be with him for the rest of his life, especially now that they were making everything official and permanent between them. He would do anything to keep his future husband safe and sound. There was no erasing that instinct in him.</p><p>When Grissom let them into the room to listen to the cassette from the package, Greg prepared himself for a goodbye speech from Nick, locking his intimate feelings away inside where no one could find them, hoping it wouldn't come down to that. Nick was a tough guy after all. He would fight for his life. For his daughter. And perhaps even for Greg if he had to. Greg was prepared to fight for him if there was no other choice.</p><p>What he wasn't prepared for was the stupid song they heard instead. The kidnapper was playing with them. Damn it! He wanted to cry, and if he'd been alone, perhaps he could summon the tears, but not in front of his friends and coworkers. Instead, he kept up his stony gaze, unsure what to do.</p><p>The USB drive was attached to the computer. Of course the jerk wanted a million dollars. Greg just wanted his boyfriend back. Was that so much to ask?</p><p>Nick came on the screen. Trapped. Buried alive.</p><p>Greg's throat closed up. He couldn't breathe. Visions of his new soon-to-be family slipped from his mind.</p><hr/><p>"I can't reach Kristy," Catherine said out in the hall.</p><p>Time was passing so slowly. How long had Greg sat in the AV lab watching Nick struggle and scream silently in that wretched box? He turned to see Catherine and Grissom not too far away.</p><p>"We'll need his family present. We need to notify someone. What are we going to do?"</p><p>"I've already called his parents in Dallas. They're getting the next flight out."</p><p>Family. They needed family present. Of course they did. Little did they know the closest family Nick had was sitting only a few feet away, unable to say anything. He wanted to scream along with Nick, but hid his face in his hands instead, hoping to hide any emotion that might be showing. Nick would want him considered family. But legally, he was nothing to Nick. Just an over concerned friend. Nothing more.</p><p>He was caught in a bind. If he came clean with them, and Nick survived, he would have outed Nick without Nick's permission. And even if Nick had planned on telling Grissom that night, he hadn't planned on telling the rest of the lab. News like that would travel fast, and Nick wouldn't be prepared for it, should he survive.</p><p>On the other hand, if Nick did... if he did... If he didn't come back, he would want people to know the truth about him. But would they believe Greg? There was no proof of their relationship except Greg's apartment keys on Nick's key chain and the watch Nick had bought him. What other evidence was there? It didn't seem right to let them into his apartment to fingerprint his bed frame or nightstands. Or even just the handle on his refrigerator. That felt too private. But if he said nothing, he would be the invisible boyfriend forever with no one except Bobby knowing the truth, and that thought hurt like no other.</p><p>Looking back up at the screen, at Nick's eyes closed against the bright light, he forced himself to think positively. Nick would survive. And they would come out together. They would make a beautiful family, and everything would work out ok.</p><hr/><p>Several more hours passed with no news. Greg hadn't left the AV lab, needing to be as close to Nick as he could, keeping a close watch on him. He'd moved to the corner of the room, to give others room to keep an eye on him too. They came and went, staying half an hour to an hour at a time, only to be relieved by someone else with fresh eyes. Only Greg stayed throughout those long hours, afraid that something horrid would happen if he even took one step outside of the room.</p><p>No one noticed he was there, silently watching the love of his life alone in his coffin.</p><p>Things changed, however, when Catherine and Grissom both returned with two new people Greg had yet to meet: Nick's parents.</p><p>Catherine finally noticed him in the corner, and motioned with her eyes and a nod of her head for him to leave. Grudgingly, he did as she asked, and slipped out behind Bill and Jillian Stokes, his heart cracking in half.</p><p>They didn't even know who he was, that he, of all people, knew Nick best. Knew all of his fears, needs, and wants. Everything.</p><p>Standing just outside the door in the hall, he overheard their brief conversation.</p><p>"Aw, Pancho, what the hell you got yourself into?" His father acted like this whole kidnapping was Nick's fault. But it wasn't! Nick was just focused on the job. That was all. There was no reason to blame Nick for any of this.</p><p>With a sigh, as his heart began to splinter into sharp shards, Greg turned and headed toward the breakroom, wishing he could hold Nick in his arms again, ensuring both of them that everything would be ok.</p><p>He needed a place to be alone. The breakroom wouldn't do. He spun around, intent on finding a good hiding spot when he ran smack into Warrick. The taller man grabbed his upper arm in a tight grip and dragged him down the hall, into the empty men's room. What the hell?</p><p>"Look. I don't have a problem with you being gay. Or bi, or whatever the hell you are. Ok?"</p><p>What a way to start a conversation. Greg only nodded, unsure what to say.</p><p>"What I have a problem with, is your stupid crush on Nick." Warrick continued, not giving Greg even a split second with which to get a word in. "I don't want anyone thinking Nick's gay when he's not. His parents are here, and if they caught wind of that, can you imagine what would happen? He's a married man, Greg. It would ruin his family. You have to think of these things. Someone's going to get the wrong idea, just by the amount of time you've spent hanging around the AV lab tonight and I can't let that happen. Do you understand where I'm coming from?"</p><p>Warrick hadn't let go of his arm yet, and it was starting to hurt. Greg hated the idea of Nick coming home to find bruises from his best friend on his boyfriend. He stared at the ground and nodded. "Yes. I understand." God. He sounded like a weakling in highschool giving in to the school thug. But what else could he do?</p><p>"Good. I'm glad we have an understanding. Now, what will you not be doing?"</p><p>"I guess I..." Greg could almost hear the cracks of his heart. "I'll stay out of the AV lab."</p><p>"And?"</p><p>What more did the guy want? "I'll stay away from his family."</p><p>"Good. Make sure that happens. I don't want to have to talk to you again." Warrick withdrew his hand and walked out of the room, leaving Greg alone.</p><p>He sank to the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees. Why couldn't he be stuck in the box instead of Nick? Why couldn't someone have had a beef with him rather than his sweet-hearted boyfriend. If it had to be Nick, why couldn't he at least be with him? He could keep him company, hold him, calm his fears, love him.</p><p>He paused. Love? Without a doubt. And he'd never gotten a chance to tell Nick before they'd parted. Nick might not survive this night and Greg hadn't told him just how much he loved him. He looked up toward the ceiling, and prayed for Nick's life, that he would be ok, and returned to Greg in one piece.</p><p>If he wasn't... a lot of lives would fall apart. Cara would lose her father, maybe even her mother...</p><p>
  <em>"I have a minimum wage job! How the hell do you think I'm going to care for a kid I never wanted to begin with?" Kristy yelled at the rest of Nick's family and the CSI team surrounding her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't you ever say that about my granddaughter!" Jillian screamed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Greg jumped to his feet. He knew what Nick would want. "Nick and I talked about this," he said, gearing himself up to be strong and stand up for himself, Nick, and Cara, as a family. Seeing Nick's daughter standing at her mother's side, tears streaming down her face, gave him the push he needed. "We talked about becoming a family together. With Cara. I know he would want me to take care of her if he couldn't, and I would like to adopt her."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cara ran over to him and clung to his leg. He leaned over and rubbed her back, doing his best to soothe her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What are you saying?" Jillian asked, brushing her long brown hair out of her face. "Of course she'll come back to Dallas with us."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"My son is not gay!"Judge Stokes nearly screamed, his face turning red. "Don't you dare spread lies about Nick! He's smarter than that!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come here, honey," Jillian tried to appeal to Cara. "Come sit with your Grandma."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cara only cried harder, until Greg picked her up and cradled her in his arms, letting her hide her face in his neck while soaking his shirt with her tears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't want anyone like you touching my granddaughter."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Anyone like me? What's that supposed to mean?" Greg held her tighter. "I love her just as much as I loved Nick."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Love? Don't talk to me about that. You're disgusting!" The Judge towered over Greg, reaching out to take Cara away from him, even as she clung tighter to Greg.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No! Don't take me away! I want to stay with him!" Cara cried.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Greg turned away from Judge Stokes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Nick would not cheat on his wife," Warrick said, getting himself into the family drama. "Do you even know what you're saying, Sanders?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He needed help!" Greg defended. "None of you know what he was going through, but I did. I loved him, more than anyone else ever seemed to."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't you dare tell me I didn't love my son!" Mrs. Stokes got to her feet, an imposing figure along side her husband.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you'd loved him half as much as I did, perhaps he wouldn't have been so afraid to come out to you!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Judge's rage boiled over. "Give me my granddaughter. Give her to me now. Just because you think you had some relationship going on with my son does not mean you get custody of her. You were nothing to Nick. And you're nothing to her, and us. I don't ever want to see you near her again. And if I see you anywhere near Nick's funeral tomorrow, I'll have your dumb faggot ass in jail so fast you won't even know what hit you."</em>
</p><p>Tears were streaming down Greg's face when he felt someone lightly shaking him. He looked up to see Bobby kneeling in front of him.</p><p>"Greg? Are you here with me?" Bobby asked.</p><p>Greg looked around. He was still in the bathroom, sitting on the tile floor.</p><p>"Where are we?"</p><p>He blinked. Was Bobby confused? "We're in the bathroom."</p><p>"Ok. Good. What's the name of this building?"</p><p>"Why are you asking me this? We're in the crime lab. I'm not stupid."</p><p>"I just wanted to make sure. You didn't look like you were all there a moment ago when I walked in."</p><p>"I'm sorry." Greg wiped at his tears. "I'm just so scared right now. If anything happens... I'm not legally his family. We were going to work it out. Talk to Grissom. We were. And then this happened. What am I going to do?"</p><p>"Greg, come on, you need to be strong right now. You have to be strong for Nick. He'll need someone to be there for him when we get him back."</p><p>"What if he chooses Kristy over me because of what's happening?"</p><p>"If I know Nick at all, he'll stand by his word. And if he told you that he'd already made his decision, then I believe he'll stand by that decision."</p><p>Greg nodded. "You're probably right."</p><p>"I know I am. Now come on, go splash some water on your face and lets get back out there."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The truth comes out and anger overflows... you've been warned.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Warrick was pissed off. And, unfortunately, Greg couldn't really blame him. Here he was, his best friend buried alive, for no other reason than revenge on the lab as a whole, and another coworker had a "crush" on said best friend. But did Warrick really have to kick the container halfway across the room? Was that really going to get them anywhere? They'd already been working on the case around the clock and hadn't found anything that would help them yet.</p><p>As the plastic container rolled to a stop Greg watched it's liquid contents spill out onto the concrete floor and disappear.</p><p>"Guys! Guys! I think I found something!"</p><p>Catherine and Warrick came running over and he showed them what he'd seen.</p><p>Together they began digging up the floor and then scraping away the dirt beneath, all the while calling out Nick's name. They had him! Dear God, they had him!</p><p>Greg's heart leapt into his throat, threatening to spill tears of joy down his face. In just a few minutes he would be wrapping his arms tight around his boyfriend, without a care in the world who saw them.</p><p>The sound of Nick's coffin broke the hurried frenzy. Everyone paused. They had him, and he was the one who'd helped them find him. He'd contributed in a huge way and it felt damn good. Maybe now people would believe he could get things done.</p><p>Dirt was brushed away. Plexiglass. Nick had been trapped in plexiglass, forced to stare at the dirt surrounding him.</p><p>"A dog?" Catherine's upset, hoarse voice brought Greg back to the present.</p><p>Beneath the plexiglass was a dead Dalmatian. Not Nick.</p><p>His heart plummeted faster than a bowling ball falling out of an airplane. He turned away, shielding his face from his coworkers as he struggled to keep his tears at bay.</p><p>Shit. Nick was still out there somewhere. Buried alive.</p><p>Would they ever find him?</p><hr/><p>Nick had shot out the bright light in his coffin, and the resulting cracks in the plexiglass let in the ants which were now eating him alive, biting him anywhere they could find fresh skin. The image lodged in Greg's head, even though he hadn't seen it on the big screen. It made him worry that much more and he struggled to hold in his emotions, keeping his stony gaze locked in place.</p><p>As Hodges looked over the dog's coffin after the team had done their preliminary work, they poured over maps of the desert area surrounding Las Vegas. They narrowed down their search to two nurseries which were known to have the very ants that were biting Nick.</p><p>Sara disappeared down the hall at a run, and returned with renewed vigor pointing at one of the nursery locations on the map. The kidnapper's daughter had worked with plants there before she'd been sent to prison.</p><p>Hope bloomed in Greg's chest as they all rushed for the door, Grissom hurrying to call Brass on his cell phone.</p><p>Warrick stopped him in the parking garage, holding him back. "You're not going anywhere."</p><p>"Get out of my way!" Greg pushed past him, tired of the threats, and forced himself into the back of an SUV.</p><p>The trip passed in a blur, Greg wringing his hands together, praying they wouldn't be too late. He needed to see Nick. He needed to find him so he could press a kiss to his lips, let him know how much he was loved.</p><p>"I love you," Greg sent, as if through a mind-link he sadly didn't have with Nick.</p><p>Arriving at the scene, the large search party spread out, though it wasn't long before Catherine started yelling that she'd found him. People came running from every direction and started digging. Someone yelled through the pipe to Nick that they were there, that they'd found him. Hopefully just in time.</p><p>Warrick had estimated that Nick's time was just about up. The digging stopped when his watch started beeping. Everyone knew what that meant. Greg silently urged them to keep digging until they did.</p><p>And it was Nick. His boyfriend with his gun to his chin. But before Greg could get down into the hole, Warrick was already there ordering Nick to put the weapon down. Greg's legs were shaking so hard he wondered how long he had before he collapsed.</p><p>It was Catherine who delivered the worst news Greg ever wanted to hear. The coffin was set to explode. Explode. Like his lab had a few years earlier. He didn't want that. No. No. After everything Nick had been through, this couldn't be the end. No!</p><p>Breaking him from his harsh thoughts, Grissom called for the fire extinguisher and he made a run for it, happy to be doing something useful. When he leaned over the top of the box with the red can, he saw Nick glance up at him and register who he was and the fact that he was there, before Greg sprayed the extinguisher over him.</p><p>Everything happened in another blur. The box was opened, the carabineer was hooked to Nick's belt and a load of dirt readied. Everyone pulled and the dirt fell. Nick went flying through the air as the box exploded just like Hodges had predicted.</p><p>As the dust settled, Greg could see Nick on his stomach, fingers and mouth twitching. He started to go for him, to pull him into his arms and hold him close, but Warrick held him back as Grissom and a team of EMTs moved in. His blood boiled now. They'd found Nick. He'd kept his distance from the man's parents. He'd done just about everything Warrick had asked of him, but now he just wanted to be with his lover, thankful that he was still alive.</p><p>The ambulance only had room for two passengers and Nick's team from swing shift jumped in before anyone else even had a chance. He forced himself to calm down. Nick was ok. He would live, and that was a good thing. Greg could meet up with him at the hospital later.</p><p>"I want my guys back," Grissom told Ecklie as the ambulance drove away.</p><p>Greg was reminded of the wish he'd made to be back on the same team with his boyfriend. He just hadn't wanted this to be how it got done.</p><hr/><p>A few hours later Kristy still hadn't answered her cell phone or the house phone. However, Nick's parents had been reached and were at the hospital along with Warrick and Catherine.</p><p>Grissom was beside himself, wondering what to do about his wife when Greg remembered the phone number Nick had left on his refrigerator. He told his supervisor he had an idea how to find Kristy and ran home to get the number.</p><p>While he was there, he grabbed a backpack and filled it with some of Nick's clothes from his dresser drawer, his deodorant, tooth brush, and other essential items. The last thing he grabbed was the phone number.</p><p>Surprisingly, even at midnight, the phone was answered on the first ring, as if the other person had been expecting a phone call.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Diana?"</p><p>"Who's this?"</p><p>"It's Greg Sanders. I'm a coworker of Nick Stokes. I believe we met once on Cara's birthday?"</p><p>"Oh, yes. Do you by chance know where Nick is? It was his turn to pick Cara up and he never showed up. I can't reach him or his wife. And the police aren't being very helpful."</p><p>Greg sighed. "It's a long story. I don't know where Kristy is, but Nick's in the hospital."</p><p>"Oh, gosh. Is he alright?"</p><p>"Yeah. Yeah, he'll be fine. Thankfully. Do you mind if I come pick her up. He wants to see her."</p><p>"Not a problem. I'll wake her up for you."</p><p>"Thanks. And thanks for looking after her, even when you didn't have to."</p><p>"It's not a problem Mr. Sanders. She's a delight to have and I wouldn't want anything to happen to her."</p><p>On his way out the door, his eye caught sight of a dark hooded sweatshirt emblazoned with Rice University's logo. He stopped, reaching out to finger the fabric, emotions washing over him. He pulled it to his face, hugged it, smelling the thick scent of his boyfriend. Tears finally descended his cheeks and he let himself cry for a few minutes, getting everything out. Nick was ok. He'd survived. They would be ok.</p><p>He arrived at the daycare center not too much later, remembering he didn't have a car seat with him.</p><p>"Sure, you can borrow the car seat again," Diana said when he'd asked. "Also, I meant to tell you on the phone, but I don't have a coat for her and it's a little chilly out. I can lend you something..."</p><p>"Don't worry. I've got something in the car for her."</p><p>Diana handed him a sleepy child and he took her in his arms. She looked good there, the way she looked up at him, smiled as she recognized him, and rested her head on his shoulder, trusting him completely.</p><p>"Are you ready to go see your Daddy?"</p><p>She nodded, eyes half closed.</p><p>When he got her in the car he took out Nick's sweatshirt and pulled it over her head. It was so big it was almost as big as she was, but it would keep her warm. She snuggled into it, a dreamy smile on her face.</p><p>"Why do you have Daddy's sweatshirt?" she asked, sitting up, her eyes clearing.</p><p>"Ummmm..." She knew something was going on between them. She had to. But it wasn't necessarily his place to say anything. "He accidentally left it at my place."</p><p>"He leaves a lot of stuff at your place. Do you love my Daddy?"</p><p>Greg did a double take. God she was smart. And she didn't seem scared by the thought of another man with her father. That was a good step in the right direction. One person down. How many more family members did Nick have?</p><p>There was no way he would lie to her. Eventually she would be his own little girl, and he wanted a good relationship with her. He was also sick of keeping the biggest thing in his life a secret, and he'd been so scared for Nick, that without anyone to talk to he couldn't hold back now,. "Yes. I do love your Daddy," he said, buckling her into the car seat. "I love your Daddy very much."</p><p>"More than my Mommy?"</p><p>"Yes. But you have to promise not to tell anyone. Alright? Can you do that for me?"</p><p>She nodded. "Mommy would get mad if she knew."</p><p>Greg gave her a kiss on the forehead before he got in the driver's seat and headed to the hospital.</p><hr/><p>Nick lay in the hospital bed, listening to his one time supervisor tell him they hadn't located his wife yet. What the hell did that mean? It was after midnight. She should have been home asleep with Cara. Right? Where the hell was she? Where was his daughter? He needed to know she was safe.</p><p>"I'm sorry Nick. I just don't have an answer for you. I wish I did."</p><p>"Please... don't let anything happen to her!" Nick pleaded, tears filling his eyes.</p><p>He didn't need this. Nearly twenty-four hours trapped underground in a small box only to come out and learn that something had happened to his daughter only no one could tell him what.</p><p>His head hurt. The doctor had assured him the meds would kick in soon, but they hadn't yet. He was thankful his parents were out at the moment so they didn't have to hear the news about their missing granddaughter. They would go ballistic.</p><p>Grissom was telling him they'd already put out a missing persons report on both Kristy and Cara. Someone would find them soon. He didn't care about his wife that much, only his daughter. But how could he tell his boss that? He hoped Kristy hadn't taken Cara and split.</p><p>"Knock, knock," a familiar voice called into the room.</p><p>"Daddy!"</p><p>"Cara?"</p><p>Grissom turned, and Nick saw the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Greg stood in the doorway with his daughter in his arms, engulfed in his Rice University sweatshirt.</p><p>Within seconds they were alone, and Cara was on the bed beside him, burrowing her face into his arms, disregarding the ant bites that covered his skin. But Greg took everything in, naked fear evident in his eyes, even as it dissipated. He reached out and Nick took his hand, holding it tight in his, wishing Greg would kiss him, hold him, comfort him, knowing he couldn't. The tears he'd wanted to cry just a few minutes ago were now streaming down his face, relief that the team had found him and that Cara was ok.</p><p>"I missed you Daddy," Cara said, pecking him on the cheek. "I love you."</p><p>"I missed you too, sweetheart. You have no idea how much I missed you. And I love you too." He looked up at Greg, still clutching his hand. "My parents are still here," he said. "My Mom's determined to stay up all night with me just in case, no matter how many cups of coffee she needs to drink."</p><p>"I figured," Greg spoke softly. "I'm glad you're ok."</p><p>"Me too."</p><p>Greg looked like he had something to say, but whatever it was, he didn't say it.</p><p>"You want me to take care of her while you're here?"</p><p>"Would you?"</p><p>"Anything you want, remember?"</p><p>"Thanks."</p><hr/><p>Greg arrived back at the lab not too much later, Cara still wanting to be carried. It seemed, however, that he'd walked right into a nest of rattlesnakes. He heard her before he saw her, and Cara buried her face in his neck the moment that shrieking voice met her small ears.</p><p>"It was his turn to pick her up! And he couldn't do that one little task? What the hell?" Kristy was beyond irritated.</p><p>As they approached, she whirled away from the rest of the newly reunited graveyard team to face him. "And you! Who the fuck do you think you are taking my daughter? That should be Nick's job. If he falls short it shouldn't fall on someone else to do it."</p><p>"I'm sorry," Greg said, doing his best to keep calm with Cara right there. "But where do you get off telling me that? Where do you get off even thinking that? She's not some chore like cleaning the toilet you can put aside for another day. Nick was kidnapped and buried alive last night! And you never even noticed he was gone."</p><p>"I never noticed he was gone because I hardly ever see him even when he's not buried alive," she said, letting the sarcasm drip from her lips, giving air quotes to the last two words like she didn't believe the story Nick's coworkers were feeding her. "He's got someone else he'd rather see than his wife."</p><p>Pairs of eyes all around began to widen.</p><p>Seeing Bobby standing nearby, Greg turned to him and handed him the little girl in his arms. "Get her out of here," he hissed, not wanting her to witness his anger at her mother.</p><p>"Hey there, Cara. Why don't you and I go find something fun to do. Yeah?"</p><p>Greg kept his voice measured as he spoke, "He has someone else in his life because it's not like you've been taking care of him for the last four years!" His anger broke free. "He gave you everything he had, even when he didn't want to, and you gave him nothing in return!"</p><p>"And you know this how?" she asked, pointing at him as if he were just a little boy she'd like to punish severely.</p><p>"When you were too pissed off at him, when you didn't care enough about what he wanted or needed, when you tried to control every aspect of his life, he came to me."</p><p>"You?"</p><p>"That's right."</p><p>"So it was you? Another man? This whole time he was sleeping with you?"</p><p>Greg took a deep breath and let it out. "Yes." The truth was out and a weight lifted from his shoulders. Together, he and Nick would deal with the consequences, but he didn't have to seek a fortune teller to know they could handle it.</p><p>She looked stunned. "Why didn't you just take him away from me altogether then?"</p><p>"Because he has a beautiful daughter he loves very much. A daughter he would do anything for. If you cared about Nick half as much as I do, then you would understand why I stuck by him for so long like I did. Like I am." He stopped, refusing to explain any more than he already had. If she didn't understand than it was her own fault.</p><p>"How long?"</p><p>Feeling everyone's stares aimed at him, Greg swallowed the lump in his throat, and said, "Two years."</p><p>Kristy looked up at the ceiling tiles above them and sighed. "Another man. My husband's been sleeping with another man for two years. Holy shit."</p><p>Greg's entire body trembled. There was more he needed to say, so long as his legs could hold him steady and not give out on him.</p><p>"You know, your secretarial job is over at five. We've been trying to contact you since last night about Nick's kidnapping. As far as I know, you had no where else to be except home, with Cara. That alone, speaks volumes. I bet Nick has no clue where you were."</p><p>"We actually picked her up on Freemont, leaving a night club with another man, who obviously wasn't Nick," Catherine volunteered, her piercing gaze meeting Greg's first before settling on Mrs. Stokes.</p><p>"So you went out tonight, expecting that Nick would take care of everything for you. You never bothered to check in with him, when I know for a fact that he would always check in with you. You knew when he would be home and when he was working overtime, but he knew nothing about your schedule. That's a great way to work a relationship."</p><p>"Yeah? And just where do you get off trying to tell me how to live my life? Huh? I'm an adult, and I can do what I want, when I want. So you can just fuck off." Kristy actually pushed his shoulder a little, trying to intimidate him. "I never want to see you again!"</p><p>Little feet came running towards him, just when Greg thought he couldn't stand up any longer. Cara clung to his leg and looked imploringly up at him. "Don't leave my Daddy. When he sees you he comes home happy. And he wants to play with me. Those are good days."</p><p>Her words broke his heart, as if it hadn't had enough trauma in the last day and a half. "She shouldn't have to say that. The very least you could do is act like you care. Go see him in the hospital."</p><p>Without a word, Kristy grabbed Cara's hand, pried her off Greg's leg, and marched her out the door. Cara kept trying to look back at him and keep up with her mother at the same time. He hoped Kristy wouldn't completely abandon her daughter, but seeing her take Cara away from him like that, made him realize that she was taking his future daughter.</p><p>Turning back to the group they were all still staring at him. Bobby had arrived shortly after Cara had come running back, and he gave Greg's shoulder a friendly squeeze. He was glad someone was on his side. Catherine had defended him a little, just a few minutes ago. Now she looked thoughtful, as if she was wondering how she'd missed her coworker's two year relationship. Grissom appeared to be evaluating Greg to some unknown chart only found in his supervisor's head. Sara stared at the floor, on occasion stealing glances at Greg and the others around them.</p><p>"Wow, I can't believe you banged the heaven sent angel all women want to sleep with," Hodges commented from his lab doorway.</p><p>Catherine gave him a frosty glance and he disappeared.</p><p>Warrick, however, was still mad at him. Big surprise there. "I'm so pissed right now I could smack you, Sanders! How could you do that? You ruined Nick's marriage. How many times did I tell you to leave him alone. He didn't need to know you had a crush on him. And you went and told him anyway. And then you had the audacity to lie to me, to my face. You promised me, just last night, that you would leave him alone. And now I find out you've been sleeping with him for the last two years?"</p><p>"Warrick! Calm down." Grissom reprimanded.</p><p>"I don't know about your relationships," Bobby spoke to the group. "But I speak from experience when I say it's not easy staying in a relationship that's fallen flat. Especially when there's someone else out there who's claimed your heart."</p><p>"That's called cheating." Warrick glowered. "Nick is one of my closest friends, and to find out that you lured him into sleeping with you, and thus, cheating on his wife and his family... that's just disgraceful. It's wrong. And I can't just stand here and let it be. Because maybe if he'd been given a chance to work things out with Kristy, given a chance to be faithful, maybe this night would have gone a little differently. You know?</p><p>"Sanders, you made the team. Congratulations. But that does not mean you then get to sleep with Nick. I can't believe he let that happen. What did you do to convince him it was ok?"</p><p>"Let me educate you a little." Bobby stepped forward, aiming his words directly at Warrick. "If you were born gay and you're in a straight relationship, it's not going to work, no matter how hard you work at it."</p><p>"He was not born gay. He married a woman!"</p><p>"Maybe he was confused. Maybe he was trying not to be gay and the longer he stayed with her the more he realized he couldn't change who he was. It doesn't matter at this point. What matters is that he's in what appears to be a committed relationship with Greg and each and every one of you needs to respect that."</p><p>"That was very well said, Bobby," Grissom said. "Thank you. Everyone, I suggest you go home and get some rest. Ecklie's already mentioned that you can have tomorrow night off. I suggest you take it. Greg? Can I see you in my office please."</p><p>Greg nodded.</p><p>"Now you've done it, Sanders. Now you've really ruined everything. Nick probably just lost his job thanks to you." And with that last parting shot, Warrick walked away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Greg ignored Warrick's comment and followed Grissom to his office where his supervisor shut the door, giving them room for a private conversation.</p><p>"I'm sorry Gris. I didn't mean to say all those things out there. If this will in any way affect Nick's job, please, let it fall on me."</p><p>Grissom didn't say anything. Instead, he walked to his desk where a dusty, dirt covered cassette recorder sat on top of his desk calendar.</p><p>A shiver ran up Greg's spine. He knew what it was, and he didn't want to hear it. He was afraid of whatever it was Nick had said. Maybe when he thought he was going to die he'd reclaimed his love for his wife. It would hurt like hell, and what would Greg do then? Sure he seemed like he hadn't at the hospital, but then he was a little out of it from the drugs they'd put him on, and he hadn't said much.</p><p>Greg backed away, reaching for the door handle.</p><p>"You need to hear this."</p><p>"No. He lived. He's fine. I'm fine. We're all fine. I don't think he would want anyone to hear it. He'll be embarrassed."</p><p>"I don't think so." Grissom pressed play.</p><p>The sound of electronic static filled the air for a brief moment and then Nick's voice came alive. Greg's hand gripped the door handle as his boyfriend asked whoever found his body and the tape recorder to send it to the Las Vegas Crime Lab. He left a message for his parents saying he loved them and that they'd raised him right. His siblings were mentioned also, before he turned to his newer family.</p><p>"Grissom, I know I've disappointed you, and I'm very sorry. You were a great supervisor, the best I've ever had. Honest. Catherine, you were a great supervisor too. But more than that you were a good friend, and I thank you for listening to me the few times I confided in you. We had some great times together, Warrick. And I did whip your butt at Mario Brothers that time you said I cheated. I never did. Maybe you let me win. I don't know. But thanks for the good times, man. Sara, I'm glad to have known you. Whether you knew it or not, you were like a sister to me. I hope you all live long, happy lives, even if I can't be there." Until now, Nick's voice had remained relatively calm. As calm as someone in his situation could be.</p><p>As he spoke his next words, however, he began to choke up. "Kristy, I'm sorry, but I never loved you. I only married you because I couldn't stand the thought of Cara growing up without me. I know you've been unhappy the same as I have, and I'm sorry." He paused for a few seconds too long. "Greg, I need you to do something for me. Please tell my daughter how much I love her and look after her for me, any way you can. I always knew you'd make a good father..." Nick trailed off and didn't say anything for another long moment.</p><p>"Someone important once told me I should follow my heart and I intend to do that from here to the end. Fuck everything else. Greg... I love you, very, very much. If I could go back in time and do things over, I would have chosen you the moment we met. I'm praying that time passes quickly so I can see you again soon, whether here or in our next life. Please know I love you with everything I have."</p><p>The machine clicked off leaving both men in silence. Greg stared at it in shock. Knowing Nick wanted him to take care of his daughter even if he didn't make it out alive, made Greg's hands tremble a little. Remembering the feel of the little girl in his arms clutching at his neck, he knew years later, as a single father, she would have been a constant reminder of his love for Nick. But Nick had survived, and they would be fathers together. His hand loosened on the handle and he stepped forward.</p><p>"This is what you were going to see me about, wasn't it?"</p><p>Greg nodded.</p><p>"I'm not going to play this for anyone else. You and I are the only two who've heard it."</p><p>Greg looked up at his boss. "You mean that?"</p><p>"Some people around here may have been blind. But I wasn't. I never said anything because I didn't know what to say. I would see Nick walk in looking upset and frustrated over something, but he would never talk to me about it. When he saw you, however, I noticed that his demeanor changed. Sometimes he would do a complete turn around. He was happy with you. You seemed to be helping him somehow and I didn't want that to change."</p><p>"Thank you," Greg whispered.</p><p>"You're welcome. Now, go take care of Nick. We can talk about your work situation later, but right now, he needs you."</p><p>"I don't know departmental policy. But I would like to know something a little definitive when I see him, now that the secret's out."</p><p>"Departmental policy states that a relationship cannot happen between two people on the same shift if they are a supervisor and a subordinate. He's not your supervisor and you're not his so I think you're ok. But, I won't be able to put you on the same cases. You also realize you work in a fishbowl. Everyone will know what's going on. They'll make judgements on even the littlest things you do. Once you're out, you're out."</p><p>"I read the book. I know what it can be like. Especially for us."</p><p>"What book?"</p><p>"I Love A Cop. I saw it on your desk a few months ago."</p><p>Grissom's face tinged red, but then he nodded, recovering quickly. "Good. We haven't discussed anything yet but Nick'll be getting some time off after this. When he gets back, I would like to suggest a trial period where we see how everything works out. If it doesn't, then we might have to switch one of you to another shift."</p><p>"I guess I can live with that." He hated the idea, though he had to admit, it did make sense, and he was grateful Grissom was giving them a chance.</p><p>There was a quick knock on the door and Catherine stuck her head in. "Can I come in? Or am I interrupting?"</p><p>"No, I think we're about finished. What's up?"</p><p>She came in and closed the door, turning to Greg. "How far were you both planning on taking this relationship?" She eyed him carefully, judging his facial expressions as if he were a suspect.</p><p>"We were looking long term. Permanent. If it worked out with Kristy I was going to adopt Cara. I'm not leaving him. You can't make me."</p><p>"Relax, I just wanted to make sure you were talking about the real deal and I also wanted you to know that whatever happens, I'll support both of you."</p><p>Only needing to take one step to reach her, Greg wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. "Thank you."</p><p>When he finally left Grissom's office just a few minutes later, Warrick was out in the hall waiting for him.</p><p>"Lost the job, didn't you." He seemed so sure of himself. "Well, better you than Nick."</p><p>Standing tall, knowing he had his supervisor and two coworkers' support, Greg said, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't make assumptions like that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a boyfriend who needs my attention."</p><hr/><p>"I don't know dear, I hope everything's alright. The last time we talked to that boss of yours he said he still hadn't found Kristy yet, or Cara. I know you're worried, especially after the ordeal you've been through. We're worried too. But I'm sure Kristy's just fine. She has to be. Maybe I should call him again. What do you think Bill?" Nick's mother turned to his father who sat in the corner of the room looking bored as she rattled on.</p><p>Oh, why did the hospital have to serve coffee 24/7 to keep her awake at this ungodly hour?</p><p>"You probably should." Finally given time to speak, Bill's anger returned. "These cops need to learn a few things. At least in Dallas they know what they're doing. Something must be wrong if she's not home with Cara at this ungodly hour. They swear this guy had nothing against Nick personally, but all the same, he could have taken them as well. That detective... what was his name again? Braise? Bruise? He needs to go back to the academy and relearn how to be a police officer."</p><p>Mrs. Stokes brought out her cell phone, shaking her head when her husband reminded her that she couldn't use it in Nick's room. Grudgingly, she gave her son a kiss on the cheek and said she and Bill were going downstairs to get more coffee and make the call. "Don't worry honey, we'll stay up with you tonight and make sure everything's ok."</p><p>He nodded, and let them leave him alone.</p><p>Sure, he'd been happy to see them when they'd first arrived, but now, all he wanted and needed was alone time with Greg. He knew it was time he grew that backbone his boyfriend claimed he needed and tell his friends and family the truth.</p><p>His parents didn't know Greg was taking care of his little girl because he knew they would take her away from him and he knew that would hurt Greg and his trust in him, more than anything else.</p><p>"Daddy!" Cara ran into the room. Her sad little face lit up like a Christmas tree when she saw him.</p><p>Why was she so sad for a minute? Wasn't Greg with her? "Hey pumpkin! What are you doing back here so soon?" Nick, happy to see her again, eagerly awaited Greg's arrival shortly after hers. They could at least have a short family moment before his parents returned.</p><p>"I met your lover tonight," Kristy's familiar voice sneered at him from the doorway where she stood with her arms crossed. "You want a divorce?"</p><p>"My... what?" How had she figured it out? What happened? Where was Greg?</p><p>Cara climbed up onto the bed with the help of her father's strength, and burrowed into the crook of his arm. Her body trembled in fear against his.</p><p>"I'm sorry Kristy... I meant to tell you..."</p><p>"Yeah, I bet you did. After the adoption papers were final. After you'd moved out of our house."</p><p>"This isn't easy for me either, you know?"</p><p>"That's what they all say."</p><p>"Neither of us are happy. You have to know that. I haven't been happy in a long time. I've only stayed this long for her." Nick rubbed his daughter's arm comfortingly.</p><p>"But what about me? Huh? You don't think I love you?"</p><p>He'd tried to stay calm, but she just wouldn't let him. "Do you? Because you have a very odd way of showing it." He was angry at her, but more than that he was just upset. He didn't want to have this argument in the hospital where anyone could overhear them, where Cara was within hearing distance, where he was stuck in a bed he couldn't leave, or at least get up to close the door, because Kristy didn't seem to care who heard her rant.</p><p>"He makes me happy. Don't you want me to be happy? I want all three of us to be happy, but obviously we're not accomplishing that by living together."</p><p>Kristy didn't say anything, just stood there and stared at him, a livid expression on her face. He did his best not to cry in front of her. He couldn't. He didn't want her to see his weak side. Instead, he prayed that Greg would arrive shortly. All he wanted was for Greg to hold him, keep him safe.</p><p>His wife blurred in front of him, and as she did, she began to yell something horrendous at him, something that bit at his heart and ate his soul.</p><p>Cara began screaming and crying into his hospital gown.</p><hr/><p>Greg was several doors down from Nick's room, but he didn't have to be any closer to hear the yelling and screaming. He debated whether or not he should intervene, but when the yelling got worse, he started toward the door.</p><p>Kristy was using as many swearwords as possible while she effectively ended things with her husband. As she stormed out of the room, her eyes dark and terrifying, small feet hit the tile floor and ran, stumbling after her.</p><p>"Mommy? Mommy!"</p><p>Kristy didn't stop or even slow down at her daughter's voice.</p><p>As Cara tried to run past Greg he scooped her up and rushed after Kristy.</p><p>"What do you think you're doing? This is your daughter. You're just going to leave her here? Without a single care in the whole world?"</p><p>Kristy spun around to face him, anger lighting her features.</p><p>"Mommy?" Cara reached out to her, while at the same time looking very scared.</p><p>"They both like you better than me!" she screeched. Cara turned away from her, eyes red rimmed, tears spilling down her cheeks. "So you can have them. I never wanted a dumb baby in the first place! He was just a good lay. Once. That's all. That's all I ever wanted. One night of amazing sex. But I got stuck in this boring, crappy life. I hate it. And now, I'm leaving it." Kristy stormed off toward the elevators at the other end of the hall.</p><p>Greg had been so wrapped up in his concern for Nick and Cara he'd failed to notice Warrick standing in the hallway until Kristy was gone.</p><p>"I'm sorry Greg," Warrick apologized, shaking his head. "I had no idea things were this bad. I was just so stuck on the idea that you seduced him, starting this whole avalanche, that I never even heard what you were saying back at the lab, what Kristy was saying. I shouldn't have said all those things to you. I'm sorry."</p><p>Greg adjusted Cara in his arms, trying to soothe her tears away. He gave a light kiss to her temple as her sobbing turned into sniffling.</p><p>"He didn't want anyone to know there was a problem. But honestly, he wasn't that good at hiding it, if you bothered to look."</p><p>"God, Greg. I'm so sorry."</p><p>"Don't apologize to me. Nick's the one who should hear that."</p><p>His tall coworker nodded at the little girl clutching Greg's neck. She wiped her runny nose on his shoulder.</p><p>"What's going to happen to her?"</p><p>Greg ran a hand over her back. "I'll look after her while Nick's here, if that's what you mean."</p><p>"What's the ideal situation you see after that?"</p><p>"We're a family, Warrick. Plain and simple."</p><p>"You would do that? You haven't been waiting for Kristy to leave with her so you could get Nick all to yourself?"</p><p>"I'm not that selfish. And I know he wouldn't handle it well without her. She's his whole life. She's the reason he hasn't divorced Kristy yet. And I wouldn't take her away from her father."</p><p>"He loves my Daddy," she said, turning to face Warrick while still in Greg's arms. "My Mommy doesn't love my Daddy." Another round of tears began cascading down her blotched face. "All she does is yell."</p><p>"Hey, hey, it's alright. Everything's gonna be alright," Greg soothed. "She's a part of Nick," he said to Warrick. "And whether she knows it or not, I love her too. How could I not?"</p><p>Tiny arms clung tighter to his neck.</p><p>"Look, I really have to go. I'll talk to you later, ok?" Greg turned to leave.</p><p>"Do you ever give yourself a break from playing super hero?"</p><p>"No time."</p><p>"Look, if you ever need me to do anything, babysit, grocery shop, whatever, you just let me know. Ok?"</p><p>He glanced back. "Thanks, Warrick. I appreciate it."</p><p>Greg then hurried down the hall and into Nick's room. Tears were flooding the other man's eyes and over-flowing onto the pillow behind his head. A sob escaped his lips when he saw Greg at his bedside holding his daughter.</p><p>Cara struggled free from his grasp to give her father a hug.</p><p>As he sat down on the edge of the bed he cupped Nick's face in his hand, wiping the tears away with his thumb. Nick then grabbed hold of him, pressing his palm into his wet skin as if it were the most comforting thing he'd ever known.</p><p>Sensing Warrick in the doorway, Greg leaned over and placed a gentle kiss to Nick's forehead, regardless. "I love you," he finally said for the first time out loud, heart beating wildly at the admission.</p><p>Nick looked up at him, eyes shining with fear. "I… I love you too," he blurted with a new rush of tears. "And I need you. I don't know what to do."</p><p>"We can figure things out together. I'm not going anywhere."</p><hr/><p>"Where's Mommy?" Cara asked a short while later, curled up beneath the blanket next to her father. "She scared me."</p><p>"I don't know. But I don't think she's coming back," Nick said, looking over at Greg.</p><p>His boyfriend reached out over the blankets and took his hand, giving it a tight squeeze. Their coworkers knew about them, and Greg had assured him several, including Warrick and both of their supervisors, were ok with it. His heart would have been at peace sooner, if it wasn't for the fact that his parents hadn't returned from their coffee break yet.</p><p>He wondered what Brass was telling them that was taking so long. He didn't think the detective would rat him out, even if he'd known, and by now the entire department must have known about Nick Stokes and Greg Sanders, the gay crime scene investigators shacking up together. Hell, the whole world probably knew already.</p><p>He squeezed Greg's hand back, enjoying the warmth of his calming touch, and put his parents out of his mind.</p><p>"How would you feel if Greg moved in with us?"</p><p>"I'd have two Daddies?" Cara looked up at him.</p><p>"Well... yeah."</p><p>"But I can't call him Daddy too."</p><p>"Well, there are other things you can call him. Like Dad and Pop. But you don't have to decide that now."</p><p>"Ok. It would be fun then. I like him. Can he stay forever?"</p><p>"I don't know." His eyes lifted to meet Greg's. "Can you stay forever?"</p><p>"I would love to." Greg leaned over and his warm, moist lips met Nick's in an all too brief kiss.</p><p>Cara screwed her eyes tight. "Daddy! Ewww!"</p><p>He chuckled as Greg sat back in his chair again, their fingers still intertwined. Life couldn't get any better than this.</p><p>When she opened her eyes Cara grew excited. "Granpa! Granma!"</p><p>Both men's heads whipped around to the doorway to see that Nick's parents had returned from the cafeteria, coffee in hand.</p><p>"Oh, dear, what happened?" his mother asked. "We saw Kristy leaving the hospital in a hurry. She seemed upset and she wouldn't stop to talk to us. When we didn't see Cara we didn't know what to think! Thank heavens she's alright!"</p><p>"Of course I'm alright! I've been with Daddy!" she exclaimed.</p><p>All the while his mother was having a mini heart attack over his soon to be exwife, his father kept his eyes locked on the two hands clasped together atop the white blanket.</p><p>Greg's hand gave his another squeeze, though neither of them said anything. This was it. His father had already noticed their closeness and Kristy leaving in a hurry. He wasn't a judge for nothing. Even if Nick lied to him, he would figure it out eventually, perhaps beating it out of him if he had to.</p><p>Jillian's gaze moved from Nick to Bill, confused by the silence in the room. Then she looked at Greg, as if seeing him for the first time in her life. A frown formed on her face. "Who are you?" she asked.</p><p>Greg had leaned closer to Nick. He wasn't backing away from the situation. From him, Nick could feel a flow of strength and love which filled him mind, body, and soul, giving them a secure connection. It was up to Nick. But if Greg could stay by his side now, and was willing to do so forever, then he could weather the Texas tornado that was sure to blow through the moment his important words left his mouth.</p><p>Nick took a huge breath and let it out slowly. "Mom, Cisco," he said. "This is my life partner, Greg."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The book that Greg references here is called I Love A Cop: What Police Families Need To Know and it's written by Ellen Kirschman, Ph.D. It's a fantastic book which I highly recommend for anyone who wants to become a cop, who lives with one, loves one, or for those who want to write about them.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nick slowed the horse to a trot and then a walk as he approached the paddock. Jezbel gave a snort in greeting to the four grazing horses as he was walked around the ranch yard to cool off. The other horses looked up at him and then went on munching as if seeing him was as exciting as watching grass grow.</p><p>Once they returned to the barn, Nick dismounted and replaced the horse's bridle with a halter while he took the saddle off and brushed him out. Jezbel nudged his pocket over and over again with imploring eyes until he couldn't help but laugh, and finally gave in, digging out the carrot for him.</p><p>It felt good to be this relaxed after the tough shift he'd had the night before. Exercising all of the small ranch's five horses this morning had calmed him considerably and gotten him into a completely different frame of mind just right for going home and spending time with his family.</p><p>He gave Jezbel a nose rub. Things were finally righting themselves in the world.</p><p>"Have to say, you looked mighty fine up there on him."</p><p>Nick turned to see one of the owners of the ranch, Jaime, walking down the isle in her usual attire of work boots and a button down shirt tucked into a pair of jeans. She kept her hair cropped close to her head, almost in a man's buzz cut, but just long enough in some areas to tell she really wasn't a he.</p><p>"Thanks, I guess." Embarrassing heat crept into his face.</p><p>She stopped and leaned against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest. "Greg sure is a lucky guy."</p><p>Nick's blush only deepened further as he put Jezbel back into his stall.</p><p>"Zoe'll be right out with something we thought you might like for your housewarming party later this afternoon."</p><p>Nick shook his head. How had they known?</p><p>"Greg told us about it."</p><p>Of course he had.</p><p>"But before she brings it out I wanted to make sure you were planning on sticking around. You exercising the horses is such a big help and I'll be honest, I've seen a big improvement in everything about you since you started to work here. I think this place is good for you. The horses are good for you. So, you're not planning on ever leaving this place, are you?"</p><p>"No Ma'am. Greg was right to force me out here. This place is good for me. I love it. It's like a piece of my childhood." At the thought of his childhood, his eyes began to burn. "You know, when I finally told them the truth, they left. My Mom was confused. She didn't understand what I was telling her. But my father, he just dragged her away without a word. Not one word.</p><p>I heard from their lawyer after that. They hate me so much they can't even tell me that themselves. They had to have a lawyer tell me." He let out a shaky breath, trying to keep his emotions under control. He hadn't meant to spill everything, but at the same time he knew she would understand and wouldn't put him down for it.</p><p>Jaime rested a hand on his forearm. "I know it's hard, but at least you've got a nice family otherwise. Concentrate on the good things in your life. You've got a sister who finally came up for a visit and Greg's family has been more than supportive of you two, right?" When Nick nodded, she continued, "Cara is the most adorable little girl I've ever seen and Greg is so devoted to you. You guys really do make a beautiful family."</p><p>He blushed even harder. It was still awkward talking about Greg as his partner sometimes, even with people who knew and accepted them as a couple. Greg kept telling him he'd get used to it soon enough. He hoped his husband was right.</p><p>"Aww, look at the poor man, Jaime. What did you do to make him turn tomato red?" Zoe came out of the nearby house carrying something large in both hands. She stopped next to Jaime while her partner explained why he was so red.</p><p>"Well, she's right. You do make a beautiful family. Any time those two want to come out here, they're more than welcome."</p><p>"Thanks guys. It means a lot. Really," he managed.</p><p>Zoe handed him the large flat object she'd been carrying. "This is for your housewarming party. You can open it now, or later. Your choice. But it's something I've been working on for awhile. I had a feeling it was something you'd enjoy."</p><p>Once her hands were free, Nick could see the oil paint stained apron she wore covering a t-shirt and jeans. The traditional cowboy boots on her feet also catered to a little paint spatter. She slipped an arm around Jaime's waist as he eagerly opened the gift, wondering what on earth she'd made for him.</p><p>He'd never seen one of her paintings before, but the moment he got the wrapping paper away from the frame he sucked in a huge breath and stared at it for a long time. It was the most beautiful painting he'd ever seen, and he wondered why it was in his hands rather than on a museum wall.</p><p>She'd painted a herd of wild mustangs racing across the western grasslands, the warm summer sun high in the sky. Off in the distance, half hidden in a copse of trees he could make out two cowboys sitting on their own horses, calmly watching the mustangs thunder past.</p><p>And the frame, he could tell, was not store bought. It looked like something Jaime might have done. While Zoe was great with the farm's bookkeeping and painting in her spare time, Jaime was better with the hard physical labor, and was very often found riding the fences to make sure everything was still intact. If something was amiss, she was quick to fix it, no matter what it took.</p><p>"I made the frame," Jaime confirmed. "It's actually part of that old weathered fence we tore down last week. She said she wanted something natural for the frame. I figured why not weathered fence wood? Gives it a western look, don't you think?"</p><p>"Guys, I can't accept this. I really can't. It's just so gorgeous."</p><p>"Sure you can. Consider it your paycheck for all your hard work."</p><p>"That, and something to help keep you calm and sane when you're not here."</p><p>"Or snuggled up with Greg."</p><p>Jaime grinned. "Exactly."</p><hr/><p>"You smell like horses, Daddy!" Cara commented when Nick walked through the front door to the new house he shared with Greg.</p><p>He picked her up and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "So I do."</p><p>When he looked up Greg was leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen.</p><p>Nick set his daughter down and she ran into the livingroom calling for her Aunt Lizzy to play with her.</p><p>His husband came over and draped his arms over Nick's shoulders, leaned in, and pressed a kiss to his lips. "I love you."</p><p>Nick savored the kiss. "I love you too."</p><p>"Such a picturesque moment," someone sighed. Both men turned to see Elizabeth Stokes watching them with a puppet on one hand and a yoyo in the other. "I never thought I'd see you this happy, Nick. You look so much better than the last time I saw you, I swear."</p><p>"Well, to be honest, Sis, I feel much better." Nick grabbed hold of his sister's wrist and pulled her into a hug with a smile. "And havin' you here is making everything better."</p><p>Elizabeth pulled away from him. "I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but..."</p><p>"The papers went through, didn't they?"</p><p>"Yeah. I'm sorry."</p><p>"No. It's ok. It's ok." He tried to hold back his emotions but the first sting of tears had already struck. "Shit."</p><p>Greg pulled him into another hug as Elizabeth said, "It went a lot faster since you've officially changed your last name already."</p><p>"Daddy?" Cara walked into the room to find the three adults in a semi three-way hug. "Daddy, what's wrong?"</p><p>"Life sucks, honey. That's all." Nick bent down and picked her up so she could give him her own hug.</p><p>Not understanding her father's words, she turned to her aunt and asked, "Aunt Lizzy? When are Aunt Jane, Aunt Tess, Aunt Alissa, and Uncle John coming? You're already here for the party, but what about them? And Granpa and Granma Stokes?"</p><p>"Oh, baby, they're not coming to the party."</p><p>"They're not? But they never come up here to visit. We always have to go down there. Why can't they come up here for once?"</p><p>Nick carried her into the livingroom and sat down on the couch. "Well, because, Greg's family is now our family sweetheart."</p><p>"But... Granma and Granpa are still family. Right? What about my cousins? I'll still get to play with them. Right?"</p><p>Greg sat down on one side of him while his sister sat on the other. Cara perched on his legs facing him.</p><p>"You see, the thing is, they don't want to be family with us anymore."</p><p>"But why?" Now she was getting visibly upset, her whole face scrunching up into a pout. "They can't just say that!"</p><p>"I know. But they did. Your Aunt Lizzy was the only one to stick with us."</p><p>"But why? I don't get it."</p><p>"Well, honey, they believe that a boy should love a girl and not another boy, like your Daddy and I do," Greg tried to explain.</p><p>"But Daddy loves me! Doesn't that count for something?"</p><p>Cara's sad face broke Nick's heart and he pulled her in for another hug. "Of course it does sweetheart. And you're the best girl in the world."</p><p>A knock sounded at the front door and Elizabeth set down the toys and went to answer it. When she returned, she was followed in by Bobby and a tall, thin man with blonde hair, wearing jeans and a t-shirt.</p><p>"Bobby, Jack," Greg greeted.</p><p>"Hey." Jack was carrying a paper bag.</p><p>"We're not interrupting anything, are we?"</p><p>"No." Nick stood up, depositing Cara back on the floor. "I just got some bad news from my family is all."</p><p>"Aww, man, I'm sorry."</p><p>The little girl followed her aunt into the kitchen.</p><p>"Is there anything we can do?" Jack asked, referring, not to the party they were there for, but to Nick's family issues.</p><p>"Yes, actually, take me bowling Friday night. If I'm going to be living a new life I might as well dive right in and get started."</p><p>Bobby nodded.</p><p>"Speaking of bowling…" Jack handed over the brown bag.</p><p>Inside, Nick found two short sleeved button down shirts in navy blue. A rocket blasting through space was emblazoned across the back with their team name 'The Rockets' printed above it. The name tag stitched on the front of his shirt read 'Nick Sanders'. It felt weird seeing his name like that, knowing it was permanent, yet it felt oddly right at the same time.</p><p>"Thanks for picking these up for us."</p><p>"Thanks for joining our team."</p><p>Nick turned to Greg. "Before the others arrive, there's a project that needs doing."</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>He pointed to the empty space above the fireplace mantle. "There's a reason you wouldn't let me put anything up there. Am I right?"</p><p>"Zoe finished her painting I take it?"</p><p>"So you knew about it."</p><p>Greg grinned. "Yeah, I knew. She wanted it to be a surprise, but needed to know how big to make it so she let me in on her secret. You like it?"</p><p>"I love it."</p><hr/><p>As soon as the painting had been hung above the fireplace mantle, the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of their next guests. Before long, the house was filled with just about every lab tech and every CSI from graveyard. Cara was welcoming everyone from Greg's arms, asking them if they wanted a tour of her new house.</p><p>Nick watched eyes pop open upon meeting Jack and learning that he was Bobby's life partner. A few of the lab techs greeted him like they'd already met, while others were shocked to know that Bobby was gay and had children just like Nick. It didn't take long however, for Jack's bright smile and gentle personality to win everyone over.</p><p>Nick's sister, Lizzy, was also welcomed like another member of the crime fighting family.</p><p>"I like your coworkers," she whispered to him. "I'm seriously considering moving here even more now that I've met them."</p><p>Hearing that seemed to settle something in his heart and made him feel just a little bit better.</p><p>Once the last guest had arrived, Cara told Greg to get walking while she began the tour, "This livingroom is better than our last one because Daddy says we can have a big Christmas tree this year! And he says there's enough room for me to play with my cool new toys too!" she gushed with excitement. "But wait till you see my room!"</p><p>Life couldn't get any better than this, Nick decided. He'd thought it before, but this time it was the truth. Here, he was surrounded by friends and family, and no one seemed to care that he and Greg were in a romantic relationship while sharing custody of Cara.</p><p>As his sister continued to get the food ready in the kitchen, Nick started to follow at the end of the tour to enjoy the sight of his daughter in Greg's arms acting as the guide.</p><p>A hand stopped him from following.</p><p>"Nick, I need to talk to you." It was Warrick.</p><p>Knowing what Warrick had once suggested he do about Greg's crush on him, he had a feeling his friend had threatened Greg to leave him alone, long after their brief conversation, and on more than one occasion. On some level he understood Warrick's anger at Greg. He hadn't wanted anyone to know he had problems at home, so his friend couldn't have known what was really going on. He knew he needed to correct Warrick, but that was easier said than done.</p><p>"Greg told me what your parents did for Cara when she was born."</p><p>Nick thought of the trust fund they'd set up for her college tuition. "He told you about that?"</p><p>"He also told me they took it away when you divorced Kristy."</p><p>Nick nodded. Whatever attachments he'd held to his family were now severed, save for his one sister.</p><p>Warrick handed Nick an envelope.</p><p>"What's this?"</p><p>"Something I thought might help replace what they took back."</p><p>"You didn't..." Nick opened the envelope and pulled out a piece of paper. Unfolding it, he found a new trust fund had been set up for Cara Sanders and already contained five thousand dollars. "Shit. Warrick, this is too much!" Nick hissed.</p><p>"It's not all mine. Most of the lab chipped in and donated to it. I just, I want you to know that we're all here to support you guys. Whatever you need. Me especially. You're family.</p><p>"I never did get around to apologizing to you, but I need to. I said a lot of horrible things before I realized what was really going on. I was blind to Kristy and all I saw was Greg trying to ruin what you already had. I'm sorry for that."</p><p>"You don't have to apologize to me. If I'd wanted anyone to know, you would have probably been the first. You need to say that to Greg. He's the one who needs to hear it. Not me."</p><p>"I've already talked to Greg. I guess he hasn't told you, but we talk more than we used to. I'm not saying we're going to be best friends or anything. But we talk and things seem to be doing ok. I just wanted you to know."</p><p>Nick thought back to his last conversation with Bobby. They were talking more and more, and he found the other man to be a wealth of information. Their situations were so similar, it was almost freaky, but he was grateful. He would now be going through a lot of firsts that Bobby had already been through and that was a comforting feeling.</p><p>Before he could form a reply the tour group was returning, Greg in the lead with Cara sitting on his shoulders. His husband stopped less than two inches from him and gave him a chaste kiss with a sparkle in his eyes.</p><p>"And how do you like your new family, Cara?" someone asked as everyone filed back into the livingroom where Lizzy was just setting out the bread and the wide selection of cold cuts.</p><p>"Well," she pondered the question for a bit and then answered, "I had one Daddy before and that was pretty awesome. But now I've got two Daddies, so it's even more awesomer than before! But I don't call Greg Daddy. He's my Poppy."</p><p>Everyone laughed and Greg set her down on the floor so he could ruffle her hair.</p><hr/><p>Several hours later after Cara had gotten a chance to talk to everyone, she returned to Greg, begging to be picked up while he talked to Bobby by the livingroom window. While paying attention to his coworker, he reached down and plucked her off the floor, settling her on his hip without a second thought.</p><p>"You've already got the parenting thing down," Bobby commented.</p><p>"Well, it's not like I haven't done this before."</p><p>"Done what?" Nick came up behind him, snaking his arms around his waist, and resting his chin on his shoulder.</p><p>"The whole parenting thing."</p><p>"G, you were a fantastic father even before you became an official parent on paper."</p><p>"Hold that pose boys!"</p><p>"Huh?" Greg looked past Bobby to see Catherine wielding the camera from her kit.</p><p>"I'm making a scrapbook for the event. Bobby, move out of the way."</p><p>"You?" Greg was confused. "Since when does an ex-stripper turned CSI do scrapbooking?"</p><p>Catherine blushed. "Never you mind. You three just pose like the beautiful, loving family you are, and let me take the picture."</p><hr/><p>Greg pulled the old book off the shelf and brought it back to the couch. Tucking his feet under him he got comfortable and opened the book to the first page where his favorite picture took center stage beneath the words Sanders' Housewarming Party. In it, he stood holding Cara while Nick held him from behind, his chin resting on Greg's shoulder, a look of pure love and happiness on his face.</p><p>His eyes watered, remembering that moment, just as the house phone began to ring.</p><p>"Hello?" He wiped at his eyes.</p><p>"Hey Pop!"</p><p>"Hey yourself, Kiddo. What are you up to?"</p><p>"Pop, I'm old enough now, I think you can stop calling me 'Kiddo'."</p><p>"No matter how old you are, even if you're one hundred years old, it's still written law that your father gets to call you whatever he wants."</p><p>Cara gave an exasperated sigh laced with laughter. "Ok. You win. But only because you're my father. Anyway, I only called to wish you a happy anniversary."</p><p>"Aww, thanks. I'll have to pass the message along once your father wakes up."</p><p>"You mean he's still in bed? At this hour?"</p><p>"You forget, he's getting old. He doesn't want to admit it, but he sleeps in more and more these days. And he freaks out at each new grey hair he sees in the mirror."</p><p>The sound of bare feet shuffling into the room brought Greg's attention to the doorway where Nick stood, rubbing his face.</p><p>"But, I still think he looks just as handsome as the day I met him." He grinned, reaching for Nick as he sat down beside him, their fingers easily intertwining.</p><p>"Who are you talking to?"</p><p>Greg covered the phone. "Cara. She said to tell you happy anniversary."</p><p>"Mmm, tell her thanks." His husband rested his head on his shoulder.</p><p>"Dad says thanks for the wishes," he told her.</p><p>"Oh, he's up? Then I'll let you go so you can get some coffee in him. Wake him up some."</p><p>Greg said his goodbyes to their daughter and turned his attention on his husband.</p><p>"That's my favorite picture," Nick commented, gazing down at the scrapbook Catherine had made for them.</p><p>"Mine too." He nudged him in the arm. "Hey you."</p><p>Nick glanced up at him, a quizzical expression covering his features.</p><p>He leaned over and planted a kiss to his lips. "Happy 25th."</p><p>"The best twenty five years of my life." Nick's free hand came up and caressed Greg's cheek, his thumb moving back and forth over the cheek bone.</p><p>"Here's praying for twenty five more just like them," Greg whispered, kissing him again, the soft, gentleness of Nick's lips feeling like velvet against his. "I love you."</p><p>Their eyes locked and Nick repeated his sentiment right back to him.</p><p>Life couldn't get any better than this.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I mentioned several very real books in this story and just incase you wanted the titles again, because I highly recommend them, here they are:</p><p>Alphabears by Kathleen Hague and illustrated by Michael Hague</p><p>Like Coffee and Doughnuts by Elle Parker (PDF and ebook formats only right now)</p><p>Psycop by Jordan Castillo Price (a currently ongoing series)</p><p>I Love A Cop: What Police Families Need To Know by Ellen Kirschman, Ph.D.</p><p>And there you have it folks. I really hope you enjoyed this story. I enjoyed writing it, and loved every review you gave me! Thanks guys! Here's to the next story, may it be even better than the last!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please note that this was the very last story I wrote for the CSI fandom ten years ago when I left it. While I enjoy rereading my own work occasionally, I do not intend to write anything more for this show. I am simply moving most of my fanfiction works to this site.</p><p>My current fanfiction centers around the TV show "Person of Interest" and the adorable relationship between Harold Finch and John Reese.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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